[rastalien]

Right so we're both in our early 20s been together for almost a year. She is french and I am Australien and I met her last year just I moved to france she fell madly in love but I was a little reserved at first eitherway I soldiered on and have now developed significant feelings for her. I went back to australia fro 3 months and she was sad crying at the airport etc etc even though she knew I was coming back. Then when I arrive back 1 month ago we decide to go on a one month road trip together and I start to sense a change. She started getting angry with me and going off about tiny things like the way I chew my food etc etc She was planning to move to my town and my uni once we got back from the roadtrip, but she starts getting colder and colder, tells me she needs a little break with her friends after spending a month travelling together this seems totally reasonable so I let her go off alone for 2 weeks holiday with her mates. While away she calls me to get the ph number of one of her exes who lives near where she is on holiday I decide to trust her she sounds bored and just wants to hang out with someone. THen calls me two days later and tells me she got durnk with him and his mates felt sorry for ditching him(she dumped him after 2 months to be with me) and ended going back to his house and sleeping in his bed although she swears nothing happenend.
Now she is back at my place and telling me she is rethinking everything she doesn't want to move in with me or change universities anymore and says she's feels the passion dying. I tried telling her that this is probably normal after a year and that if she expects to retain the giddiness of the first few months that she is hoping in vain. She says she still wants to be with me but she keeps messaging her ex and talking about how cool he is and how much of a good time she spent with him. Is she just trying to piss me off? I suspect this is the case but I don't know how to react. Im trying to be as cold as possible but at the same time her sudden change of mind really shocked me and made me feel more in love with her than before so it's a struggle to keep my emotions in check. What should I do? Tell her to piss off and get on with it? I'm afraid its only going to cause me more pain if I persist but at the same time I really want to make it work.
Sorry for the long post but I felt the need to rant a little
Help!

[talaniman]

Take what she says at face value, she is conflicted, and needs some time, and space, to sort her feelings out, and doesn't want to change her life to be with you.

Have the good graces to back out of her life, and explore your own, and let her make a decision for herself, with no pressure from you. If she sees things differently, she will let you know, but for now, disappear from her life, and deal with your own.

This will give you a chance to clear your own head as well, as you can't change a mind, that doesn't want to be changed, and your feelings are to intensified by her feelings for another.

Let the emotional dust settle, and not base your actions on impulse, fueled by feelings.

[BetrayalBtCamp]

She dumped him for you & now is dumping you for him or at least keeping a triangle going.

If you don't mind 1 + 1 = 3 relationship games, trying to hold the relationship together with little effort from her might be OK. If you don't want to be the 3rd wheel this time around, get out & see if she wakes up in time for you to consider making this work.

Otherwise, move forward & don't look back.