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WinonaDutton29 · Aug 21, 2008, 05:53 AM

My boyfriend I have been together for a few months now and his ex does nothing but call and email to say she is having his baby and that she expects him to be part of its life. Well if you ask me she is just doing it to try to stay and his life and she is the type that if she don't have him no one will. Any way she has called and harassed and telling him that that it's his kid she is about to have and that he needs to pay for it and all that mess. Any way he says there may be a chance that it's his kid but slim to none. Any way she is nuts and has 2 other kids and she has signed them over to her parents. He said by some chance if this is his child he wants to sign aways rights cause he just can't handle her or the way the family with him. Every email we have got sent to us is a threat. We both have kids already and that's a handful. Does any one know how we can sign over rights in the state of Florida and keep her from contacting us?

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 06:39 AM

That's actually two separate questions.

1) Can he sign over his rights? The answer to that is; probably not
2) Can you keep her from contacting you? The answer to that is probably yes

As has been said in hundreds of previous threads here, getting a TPR is very difficult. Courts are reluctant to grant TPRs and generally they are only granted to clear the way for adoption or if a parent is a danger to the child. Even if he were to get a TPR, if its his child then he will be still be responsible for supporting it.

So what needs to happen is when the child is born, a paternity test needs to be ordered. If that shows he's the father then he can decide what to do depending on what the mother does. He can just pay the support and have nothing to do with the child or be a part of the child's life.

You can get a restraining order against the mother and force her to contact him only thorugh his attorney.

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2008, 06:39 AM

Originally Posted by WinonaDutton29

My bf I have been together for a few months now and his ex does nothing but call and email to say she is having his baby and that she expects him to be part of its life. Well if you ask me she is just doing it to try to stay n his life and she is the type that if she don't have him no one will. Any way she has called and harassed and telling him that that it's his kid she is about to have and that he needs to pay for it and all that mess. Any way he says there may be a chance that it's his kid but slim to none. Any way she is nuts and has 2 other kids and she has signed them over to her parents. He said by some chance if this is his child he wants to sign aways rights cause he just can't handle her or the way the family with him. Every email we have got sent to us is a threat. We both have kids already and that's a handful. Does any one know how we can sign over rights in the state of Florida and keep her from contacting us?

He cannot sign away his rights - he has a legal obligation to support the child if DNA proves it is his child. The only way to determine that is DNA testing after the child is born. He can not visit and not have contact but he can't simply give up rights.

If he doesn't want to be contacted and she is disturbing you, file for a protective order.

Unfortunately, this is the problem when you have sex with someone who is "nuts" and she gets pregnant.

stinawords · Aug 21, 2008, 10:49 AM

Ok as pointed out if he is the father then he has to support it. He can choose not to visit but the money will have to be paid. I would advise him not to do anything until the child is born and she goes to court for support. At that time the judge will order a DNA test and when the results come back then the support will either be ordered (if positive) or he will be free to go (if negative).

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 12:07 PM

Actually He can sign away his rights... but she has to agree!! Because if he does... he will not have to pay child support.. and I am sure she will be against that!

The courts can suspend his rights... but then he has to be a really bad person/father to get his rights taken away! (like multiple DUIs, convictions.. etc). And if you have other kids with this guy... or living with him... you might be looking into other investigations towards your living conditions and your kids living conditions... (again that's if the courts decide to suspend his parental rights).

It's a difficult situation... I know it's easier said then done, but try to think of the child and don't think of her as much! But he kind of participated in this whole mess to begin with!

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2008, 12:18 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

Actually He can sign away his rights...but she has to agree!!! Because if he does...he will not have to pay child support..and I am sure she will be against that!

The courts can suspend his rights...but then he has to be a really bad person/father to get his rights taken away! (like multiple DUIs, convictions..etc). And if you have other kids with this guy...or living with him....you might be looking into other investigations towards your living conditions and ur kids living conditions...(again that's if the courts decide to suspend his parental rights).

It's a difficult situation...I know it's easier said then done, but try to think of the child and don't think of her as much! But he kind of participated in this whole mess to begin with!?

What State are you in that allows the father to sign off on his rights with the mother's consent, ending the father's obligation to pay child support when there is no adoptive parent in sight?

GV70 · Aug 21, 2008, 12:23 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

What State are you in that allows the father to sign off on his rights with the mother's consent, ending the father's obligation to pay child support when there is no adoptive parent in sight?

It is possible in Texas for example. But child support can be reinstated at anytime.

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 12:46 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

Actually He can sign away his rights...but she has to agree!!! Because if he does...he will not have to pay child support..and I am sure she will be against that!

The courts can suspend his rights...but then he has to be a really bad person/father to get his rights taken away! (like multiple DUIs, convictions..etc). And if you have other kids with this guy...or living with him....you might be looking into other investigations towards your living conditions and ur kids living conditions...(again that's if the courts decide to suspend his parental rights).

It's a difficult situation...I know it's easier said then done, but try to think of the child and don't think of her as much! But he kind of participated in this whole mess to begin with!?

Sorry, but that's not universal. First, I don't believe there is any state where a parent can just sign away their rights. The rights have to be terminated by a Family Court. A parent can sign the forms, the other parent can agree and the courts may rubber stamp it, but it has to be affirmed by a court.

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 01:03 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Sorry, but that's not universal. First, I don't beleive there is any state where a parent can just sign away their rights. The rights have to be terminated by a Family Court. A parent can sign the forms, the other parent can agree and the courts may rubber stamp it, but it has to be affirmed by a court.

I'm actually in VA... and my EX did decide to sign off his parental rights... and I agreed to it! NO VISITATIONS/NO CHILD SUPPORT.

PEACE OF MIND IS PRICELESS!

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2008, 01:04 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

I'm actually in VA...and my EX did decide to sign off his parental rights...and I agreed to it! NO VISITATIONS/NO CHILD SUPPORT.

PEACE OF MIND IS PRICELESS!

I'm amazed but this is where I come to learn.

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

I'm amazed but this is where I come to learn.

I know... I was amazed too when my attorney presented his proposal to me... but hey! I learned too! :rolleyes:

GV70 · Aug 21, 2008, 01:10 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

I'm actually in VA...and my EX did decide to sign off his parental rights...and I agreed to it! NO VISITATIONS/NO CHILD SUPPORT.

Yes-I know a lot of similar cases-''No rights-no obligations", but as I said the CS case may be re-open at anytime.And then-"Yes obligation-yes rights".Hahaha

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 01:20 PM

Originally Posted by GV70

Yes-I know a lot of similar cases-''No rights-no obligations", but as I said the CS case may be re-open at anytime.And then-"Yes obligation-yes rights".Hahaha

TRUE... but it's very hard for a father who gave up his rights and return to the court system to ask for his rights back... The court might deny his claim... (depends on how long he was disconnected with the child).

The court will c the best interest of the child... not if the father came back to his senses and decided to play house again!

If the child is resides a normal family life with the mother/stepfather... etc I pretty much doubt the custody status will change!

However, he could get visitation rights... (supervised for a while); then the mother can ask for child support!!

JudyKayTee · Aug 21, 2008, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

TRUE...but it's very hard for a father who gave up his rights and return to the court system to ask for his rights back...The court might deny his claim...(depends on how long he was disconnected with the child).

The court will c the best interest of the child...not if the father came back to his senses and decided to play house again!!

If the child is resides a normal family life with the mother/stepfather...etc I pretty much doubt the custody status will change!

However, he could get visitation rights...(supervised for a while); then the mother can ask for child support!!!

Interesting comments but certainly not my experience after years working in the system - and maybe this is why the Courts in other States (I know your experience is different) do not allow a parent to "give up" a child unless someone is ready to adopt. Once that adoption goes through, there's no going back.

I will address your specific circumstances. You are considering dating a person for "dollars or gifts." If the father of the child finds out, normal life for the child or not, I guarantee you will be brought back into Court and you will lose custody - if the father cares enough to fight with you, possibly not for the sex for money but for posting it.

Fr_Chuck · Aug 21, 2008, 03:14 PM

Normally most such agreements are never agreed to by the court, esp the part where the child support ends, but even if they do for that, CPS and the state welfare can still come ofter the non custodial parent for money if the other parent or child receives any state aid.

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 03:57 PM

Originally Posted by JudyKayTee

Interesting comments but certainly not my experience after years working in the system - and maybe this is why the Courts in other States (I know your experience is different) do not allow a parent to "give up" a child unless somone is ready to adopt. Once that adoption goes through, there's no going back.

I will address your specific circumstances. You are considering dating a person for "dollars or gifts." If the father of the child finds out, normal life for the child or not, I guarantee you will be brought back into Court and you will lose custody - if the father cares enough to fight with you, possibly not for the sex for money but for posting it.

I think u should go back and read my answer to your comment made earlier on the other blog! But I don't blame you... I did misrepresented myself!

ScottGem · Aug 21, 2008, 04:27 PM

Originally Posted by dream101

I'm actually in VA...and my EX did decide to sign off his parental rights...and I agreed to it! NO VISITATIONS/NO CHILD SUPPORT.

PEACE OF MIND IS PRICELESS!

But was it affirmed by a judge? Did you ever get child support prior to this?

dream101 · Aug 21, 2008, 07:55 PM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

But was it affirmed by a judge? Did you ever get child support prior to this?

Yes, it was affirmed by a judge... no didn't get any child support because we'd agreed since he was going to suspend his rights... backed up child support doesn't have to be paid as well!

ScottGem · Aug 22, 2008, 05:57 AM

Originally Posted by dream101

Yes, it was affirmed by a judge....no didn't get any child support because we'd agreed since he was going to suspend his rights...backed up child support doesn't have to be paid as well!

Reading Virigina statutes on this affirms that it is possible for a court to grant a TPR if it feels it is in the best interests of the child.

You don't give the full circumstances of your situation (nor do I ask for them). But the law clearly makes it difficult to obtain a TPR so there must have been circumstances in your situation where the court thought it best.

The main point here is that its not easily done and rarely granted.

dream101 · Aug 22, 2008, 06:01 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

Reading Virigina statutes on this affirms that it is possible for a court to grant a TPR if it feels it is in the best interests of the child.

You don't give the full circumstances of your situation (nor do I ask for them). But the law clearly makes it difficult to obtain a TPR so there must have been circumstances in your situation where the court thought it best.

The main point here is that its not easily done and rarely granted.

TRUE... there were circumstances... and I'm not saying it was easily done! But after his request was received by the court... it took a lot of lawyer visits and investigations before it was legally granted!! (really don't care to go through the details)