[Psychosocial]

So for about 4 months I've been with this boy, like not dating, we've just been friends with benefits, We hang out almost every week, but we also go to movies and stuff, so it's not like strictly sex. But he went on vacation for 2 weeks and he's been back for a week and a half now, well we haven't even seen each other since he's been back, and I've realized I'm starting to like him, which I know is something that happens a lot in an fwb(friends with benefits) relationship. But this is not what I wanted, like I've enjoyed his company and we get along really well, but I don't think I'm ready for a relationship, and I don't think he likes me, I don't want to ask him if he does cause if he doesn't I'll feel like an idiot. So I want to tell him I want to stop seeing him, but in more of a casual way, cause I don't want it to sound like we're in some serious relationship and I'm breaking up with him, But I have no idea what to say, to tell him, but make it sound kind of casual, any ideas?

[lengkyx]

How about you just stop seeing him instead of telling. He already has feeling of connection to you and that's going to hurt if you do tell him. And since you don't have anything official going on, try to distance yourself and see how it turns out.

I had a friend before who confessed he liked me. We see each other but as friends since I already have a boyfriend. He comes to me for advice. And he would bring me food which by the way I can never refuse. Hehehe. It hurts every time he says he can't take it that situation anymore and that we should stop seeing or texting each other.

It feels like breaking up when confronted like that. I'd rather have him simply stop seeing or texting him.

[Psychosocial]

Well I don't want to stop talking to him or anything
I still want to be his friend
I just don't know what to say to him
To tell him I don't want to be hanging out anymore
Like me and him were friends for a year before we started being fwb's
And I don't want our friendship to end

[talaniman]

Its so nice to get that perfect balance of what you want and what you need but there is always his side of it. What if, without the benefits, he has no interest in a friendship??

If you think you can change the dynamics of the way you relate to another and not have fallout, think again, as his feelings are in this equation, so if its just friends for you, just don't be available for anything but talking, no sex, no dating, and he will do the rest according to how he feels about it, and you'll need to think if this is acceptable to you. Of course, he will evaluate things too, and react with either going along, or moving on.

Sorry, but you can't expect to have your cake, and eat it too, without his consent, and co-operation. Life is full of these choices. Its best to own your own decision and let him own his, and live with the results. Protect your own interests, and make decisions based on what you want.