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Tactvic · Aug 19, 2008, 07:13 AM

If your significant other spent time with another of the opposite sex and the other person happen to let you know because they didn't want anything to happen unless You knew first. Was your significant other cheating or not.

0rphan · Aug 19, 2008, 07:19 AM

Why are they not spending time with you instead of them?

If nothings happened then I don't see it as cheating, especially since you know they are together, however it does appear that there is a plan here,hence... we want you to know first.

I think your significant other and yourself have some talking to do.

NowWhat · Aug 19, 2008, 07:31 AM

It would depend on if your significant other was upfront with you about spending time with this other person.

If they have not - then it would appear they are trying to hide the relationship.

It may not be physical but it would be emotional cheating.

Romefalls19 · Aug 19, 2008, 07:42 AM

I agree with Orphan, just because they are spending time with a member of the opposite sex doesn't mean they are cheating. Some of my best friends are females and my girlfriend completely understands that I hang out with them. She has even told me she would never make me chose between her n my friends. Why not ask her to meet this friend? Broaden your comfort circle and take an interest in your S/O's friends

liz28 · Aug 19, 2008, 08:22 AM

Your question is a little confusing. If your partner is informing you that she is spending time with someone of the opposite sex but will let you know if something happens first, maybe your partner might have feelings for that person and if so they should stop being around that person because they might not be able to control themselve. I have guy friends but I don't have any interest in them therefore I'd never tell my boyfriend "I'll let you know if anything happens between us first". I think you should be a little more clearer.

Tactvic · Aug 19, 2008, 08:59 AM

Ok she was calling him and asking to spend time together. He knows me. When he felt it getting a bit weird like phone calls goodnight and asking if they could ever hook up he told me. They never did anything phisical but if he didn't say anything I think they would have. She told me she was feeling neglected by me and found someone who made her feel wanted or whatever. She says she's very sorry and loves me. Its hard to believe she won't do it again and hard to forgive her even though they didn't actually hook up. She is my fiancé. I caught her once before talking to her ex boyfriend and that drove me crazy. How can I forgive her for straying with someone I know and having me find out from the guy himself? With a wedding in 8 months and so many years behind us I it makes it hard to just walk away.

NowWhat · Aug 19, 2008, 09:12 AM

Well, it looks like there is a pattern going on here. She feels neglected, so instead of talking to you about and working it out - she goes outside of the relationship.

And when you say "hooking up" - does that mean meeting and hanging out or meeting to have sex?

If it is to have sex - she has already started an affair.

liz28 · Aug 19, 2008, 10:06 AM

I'd hold back on the wedding because if your having these problems before hand you most likely would have them during marriage. Your have no communication and right now your trust for her is not that strong. To sum it up your foundation is weak.

hjpan · Aug 19, 2008, 10:07 AM

DEPENDS

If it's consistent... yeh~ something is up

talaniman · Aug 19, 2008, 11:08 AM

She told me she was feeling neglected by me and found someone who made her feel wanted or whatever.

If that's the way she handles her feelings by trying to cheat, at worse, or make you jealous, at best, she would get my boot! But that's just me, as I EXPECT my fiancée to come to me ,and honestly express herself. To hell with the selfish, destructive games.

You better watch out for this one!! Being sorry after the fact, is pretty useless, after those type of actions. Fair warning!

talaniman · Aug 19, 2008, 11:15 AM

I caught her once before talking to her ex boyfriend and that drove me crazy.

Then she should know better!

How can I forgive her for straying with someone I know and having me find out from the guy himself?

If that ain't a RED FLAG, I don't know what is. From a ex to a friend of yours, Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!!!

With a wedding in 8 months and so many years behind us I it makes it hard to just walk away.

Do you think being married and going thru this BS, will be easier?????