[Jiser]

What the subject sugests, please feel free to ask more info. What are your experiances and how did you deal with it etc? What was the distance?

[progunr]

Find someone that you can actually "date".

I do not recommend long distance relationships, to have a real relationship, you have to be able to touch, not just talk to someone.

[Romefalls19]

Trust and communication are the biggest things you will need to survive. A balance and guidelines for the relationship are also needed.

What I recommend doing is sitting down with your spouse before they leave, laying out guidelines, talk times and how visiting will go. Communication is the key, without it you have nothing

[BetrayalBtCamp]

There are lots of people in long distance relationships & marriages. If you Google "commuter marriages" you should be able to find some good info.

With the modern technology available now, it's much easier (& cheaper) to maintain a long distance relationship but it is difficult & frustrating, so be prepared for that.

What type of long distance relationship is this going to be, long term or just for a short definite amt of time? How long have you been together? How often will you be able to see each other or have contact? How old are you guys?

It's important to talk extensively what the boundaries of your relationship is going to be & what is comfortable to you both regarding interactions with the opposite sex. It takes a lot of honest communication to keep any good relationship going & even more so in a long distance one. Decide how often you two will talk & establish a regular pattern that's comfortable for both of you. You both could get a webcam so you can "see" each other while talking. Establish ground rules for resolving conflicts constructively, it's easy to get mad & hang up the phone or refuse to answer emails which will create even more problems & hurt feelings. Figure out how you can have 'dates' even while separated-- watch the same movie at the same time while on the phone together, for example. You can pick out the same book to read outloud to each other & discuss.

If you go to this site, you can get a cheap ebook on 1000 couple questions which can be fun & help you two to learn more about each other, whether you write out the answers or talk them out (plus a lot of romantic ideas):

TheRomantic.com: 1000s of Creative Romantic Ideas and Free Expert Advice on Love, Relationships, Sex, Kissing, Dating and Romance

[Jiser]

We met on a trip travelling across america as a group for a month. We hit it off after about 2 - 3 weeks. Distance will be a fair bit about 10 hours drive, though only 40 minutes by plane.

We are 22 - 23, quite young. I hope to meet soon and see how it goes from there! Though realistically it may not work, but by all means I will give it a shot!

[jjwoodhull]

I think the more solid the relationship before separating, the better chances it will survive. LDRs are always difficult. If you are starting with a base of only about 2 weeks it will be extremely difficult. You don't really get to know someone by visiting for long weekends. Since you do not have the basic foundations of love and trust already established what do you have to go on? You would probably be better off to try to build a friendship with this person.

[BetrayalBtCamp]

The distance is not as bad as it could be. Maybe you guys could meet in the middle at least once a month?

One advantage of a long distance relationship is that if done right you can really hone your communication skills & get to know each other very intimately with all the talking that gets done. And there is constantly a "honeymoon" feel when you do get to spend time together.

Since this is a new relationship & you both are young, just enjoy the friendship & take your time seeing how it goes without putting too much pressure on yourselves. Relationships are challenging no matter what age or distance separates you. Distance is a big challenge but it will end up showing you if "absence makes the heart grow fonder" or "out of sight out of mind". Working on the friendship first of all will let you both know if a deeper more committed relationship is desirable & if it is, will build a good foundation for that anyway.

[FLORENCE1085]

I met a guy on MySpace and we started taling as friends. He lived in Hawaii and I live in Cali. Well he had some training in California about an hour from my house. I went there and met him and we really liked each other. We both flew back and forth, but when it came to it we didn't have the foundation of a true relationship and just stopped trying. He was a super sweet guy and I do not regret it, but seriuosly why pick some so far away when I am sure you have single people around you. I like knowing my guy is around whenever I need him. We live together but when we were dating all I had to do was call him and he was ten minutes away.

[michelle86]

What the subject sugests, please feel free to ask more info. What are your experiances and how did you deal with it etc? What was the distance?

Here's a page with lots of great ideas for people in long distance relationships:

25 Ideas for LDR couples

Hope this helps

[talaniman]

I think its way to soon to talk relationship, as your strangers still, so with the distance stay with friends. You will have a hard time having fun getting to know each other, and that is the most important part of dating to me.

Maybe I'm old, but talking on the phone, and texting, just doesn't replace the face to face, and hearing real laughter, and the tension between people who are attracted.

Maybe much later, but for now, I can't recommend it, unless your both rich, and can travel often.

[michelle86]

For all of you that are so against long distance relationships...

Many of you don't understand... many long distance relationships start as face-face encounters. Mine did. Some couples have lived together for a period before their relationship became long distance due to college or work.

It is not good advice to tell someone to avoid a long distance relationship and date someone close by. Why should anyone limit themselves to a few square miles around them? Who says that the right person for us is always going to be that nearby?

Many long distance relationships work out... just as frequently as short distance relationships do.

And if you've never been in a long distance relationship, please don't give poor advice and discourage the asker. For you to give advice that can help a person, you have to be able to understand the situation they are in. If you have never experienced a long distance relationship, don't bother answering.


Michelle

Loving From A Distance

[DoulaLC]

I know quite a few people who have had LDRs that have been very successful. Never expected to find myself included however. Long story short...

Met my husband online out of the blue... we "talked" online for a few weeks and then included phone calls pretty much daily, if not twice a day, for eight months before meeting in person. When you are that far away, all you have is converstation and getting to know each other.

I went to visit him for a week... a couple of months later he came to see me for two weeks. Had a ring with him, and proposed. I got cold feet, but two months later asked him if the offer was still open... :) I went back for another week to pick up my ring!. lol. In total, we talked for a year and a half, but spent only 4 weeks together in person, before he moved to stay. We have been married over 7 years now and the distance was over 4,000 miles as he is from England.

Just like any other relationship, sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Communication, and staying connected, is key, and even more so with a long distance relationship. Finding ways to make each other feel special and thought of across the distance... maybe frequent cards, little gifts, phone calls, using a webcam, occasional visits, whatever is needed. I think if you want it to work, you are willing to put in the extra effort... but then, if you are wanting it to work, it really isn't an effort. You do things simply because you know it makes the other person feel good... as any relationship should have. Sometimes, when you see each other all the time... you may tend to lose some of that if you aren't careful.

[Jiser]

In my case I think its me who wants it to work more! Realistically I think after a few visits we may remain in contact but nothing will come of it, though I will try! : / Might as well try.

It requires two to make it work not just one, so I will put effort in, if nothing happens, well at least I tried ;) Cheers for advise.

[DoulaLC]

This is true... you will know soon enough if something is likely to develop from it.

[talaniman]

The others are right, in that keeping in contact can bind you enough to keep a spark alive, and anything can happen, when two healthy people work together and can deal with the problem that comes up. Depends on the people, and how you both handle it. Some can, some can't. This forum is proof of that.