[cutie08]

everything in my life seems to be really messed up. My mom she just don't want me around she has this vision of the perfect daughter and I guess I just don't fit it. I'm almost 17 and she will not let me grow up. She treats me like a little kid and does not trust me one bit no matter what it is. She is constinly texting me no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing and if I don't answer back right away then she es at me and calls me. And I'm getting really sick of it. She does not give me my space to learn and to grow, make mistakes and learn from them. She is always telling me how she wants me to move in with my dad who lives in lake cumberland ky 5 hours away from where I live now. And the thing is that he never wanted a part in my life until I was 8 and even now he never calls never comes down to visit for holidays or my birthdays and it hurts me really bad when he sits there and tells me I should come down there and that he loves me bacuse he doesn't if he did he would make more of an effort to be in my life, and he would have never have missed all those child supposrt meetings that we had when I was little where id go every time hoping that id meet my daddy and he would be just like the ones all my friends had but he never showed and never called saying he coldnt make it. I don't want to move down there with him cause he is pretty much like a stranger to me. I've never really known him and he has never really known me. Then there's my boyfriend who at times is amazing we have been together for almost a year now making him my longest relationship, and the boy I lost my virginity to and I love him he has always been there for me through everything he used to always want to be with me and talk to me, he used to always send me cute random messages saying things like "im thinking about you" or " your so amazing" and I loved it. It made me feel ontop of the world and so special. He used to talk to my mom and make sure I was home in the time that she wanted me to be home in sometimes even 10 minutes earlier just to make the poin that he respected her. But lately things have changed. He just seems to not be the same anymore he is still sweet but sometimes he gets mad and yells at me and sometimes he tells me you. And when I come to him with my family problems all upset he don't hug me and tell me everything is going to be OK anymore like he did before, instead now all he does is tell me its my fault and the way that I feel about fighting with my mom and how lonely I've been without my dad is immature and I just need to deal with it, and it really hurts me when he says those things. Cause until now I always thought he was the one that I could turn to. But now it seems as though I don't have anyone to turn to. And whenever I call him and he is with his friends now he won't answer and he don't call me back until forever later when he used to call me back within the hour when he missed my calls. He no longer sends me those cute text messages that make me feel like I'm cared about by someone, he hardly even tells me good night and I love you anymore. But then with me I'm always there when him and his dad fight I'm always there helping him with money when he looses his job I'm just always there whenever he needs anything. And I mean I know he cares about me bacuse when I'm actully with him things are good most of the time unless he is in a bad mood or something or I come over upset because of something my mom or grandma has said to me, then we just fight about that. I don't know I guess I'm just feeling really lonely these days. And I just need someone to remind me someone to show me that they care but I can't tell anyone this cause no one will understand they will just think the way that I feel is stupid and immature. I just really really need someone's help before its to late. I've been depressed like this for long enough. How do I get it out to these people cause whenever I try to talk to one of them about the way that I feel it always turns into a fight of they never did anything wrong I'm imagineing it and its me that's in the wrong that's how it always turns out when I know that that's not true... please please help me

[N0help4u]

Your mom is being over protective and maybe you should try and have a talk with her about your getting older and having less boundaries and what they would be and being more responsible and all. Ask her why she has the need to call you so often and discuss about ways she could call less. Like maybe ofter to call her once every other hour or every hour if she will not call so often. The main thing is discuss and try to come up with compromises.

With your boyfriend the newness of the relationship has gone and you are left with HIM. Guys are like that they give all in the first few months to impress you and make you think they are the greatest and then once they think they have you hooked they take you for granted.
That is one reason why it is best not to get involved sexually when you first start going together. They are never what they appear. He sounds like he is to the point that he really does disregard your feelings and you aren't all that significant to him any more.
He is playing the word games like saying it is your fault, you are immature, etc, to make you feel like any problems you have are your problem and not his. Then if he can get you to accept that then it is easier for you to accept it is you no matter how bad he treats you.
And believe me when a guy always puts the blame on you and doesn't want to discuss anything he usually does tend to be the abusive type and his words rationalize to him how he justifies his abusive nature so it is a red flag, Most likely he still is holding back on how bad it can get with him. The more you put up with it the more he feels comfortable with it so you need to not put up with it and possibly even break up with him.
Maybe you can have a discussion with him by asking where he sees your relationship going.

I still keep trying to talk to people about how I feel and they pull the same things on me.
It isn't worth it because they will never understand and really don't seem to care.
You either have to just accept where things are in your relationships as is or move on sometimes

[whtpearl]

I think you are going through problematic life since childhood , deprived from father's affection , troubled through mother's over protection and now boy friend is creating problem ,

What I suggest u , first of all try to focus on positive things in life everything has both positive and negative aspect , becoz of tension , stress we start focusing negative aspect of things . Let me giv you example like if your mother is over protective about u , positive aspect of it could be she cares for u , may be she tries to fill the position of your father in your life , so to normalize her , sit with her tell her how much you love her she is the best mother , and then tell her sometime its not possible to ans all calls , I mean things which are bothering u ,

Your boy friend , well I think he is fed up becoz of your personal probs , and taking you for granted becoz he knows how much you need him , so just be careful , ignore him little bit don't show him , you are missing him , is he shouts at you , blames you for your prob don't get back to him until he says sorry for that , if this relationship is inducing stress on u , u can quit it any time , so don't feel the burden , and try to involve yourself in some new activities like gym, studies , part time job etc ,

Just relax and try to focus positive :)

[N0help4u]

I agree, you appearing too needy to your boyfriend will feed his taking you for granted. Try being a little more independent, self reliant and not running to him with any problems for awhile and see if he starts treating you different. Let HIM be the one to call. If he doesn't call for a day or two or more then maybe he really doesn't care all that much.

[Chery]

everything in my life seems to be really messed up. My mom she just don't want me around she has this vision of the perfect daughter and I guess I just don't fit it. I'm almost 17 and she will not let me grow up. She treats me like a little kid and does not trust me one bit no matter what it is. She is constinly texting me no matter where I'm at or what I'm doing and if I don't answer back right away then she es at me and calls me. And I'm getting really sick of it. She does not give me my space to learn and to grow, make mistakes and learn from them.

You can either talk to her about this and ask her to stop controlling or wait until you are 18 and move out.

She is always telling me how she wants me to move in with my dad who lives in lake cumberland ky 5 hours away from where I live now.

Was she always suggesting you spend more time with him, or is this a new change? Maybe she is frustrated with you or wants to give you a chance to get to know your dad.. And your mom might be thinking of the child support that will be missing once you are of legal age. I might be wrong in this, but it's a thought.

and the thing is that he never wanted a part in my life until I was 8 and even now he never calls never comes down to visit for holidays or my birthdays and it hurts me really bad when he sits there and tells me I should come down there and that he loves me bacuse he doesn't if he did he would make more of an effort to be in my life, and he would have never have missed all those child supposrt meetings that we had when I was little where id go every time hoping that id meet my daddy and he would be just like the ones all my friends had but he never showed and never called saying he coldnt make it.

I don't want to move down there with him cause he is pretty much like a stranger to me. I've never really known him and he has never really known me.

How do you know this for sure. Maybe he didn't have the patience to show up because he and your mom were always at it and he didn't want that stress. If he says he loves you and wants to get to know you, he might really mean it. He might have just stayed away from you because of your mom's attitude. I would talk to him and at least give him a chance. You are almost 18 and can then decide where to live and with whom. And, just like you want to 'grow up and make your own mistakes and learn from them'... maybe he did some growing up now too.

As for your boyfriend... OK, so he's your first, but will probably not be your last, and from the sound of it he seems tired of you already. This happens, and in life, we have to learn to accept these rejections and learn from them. He wants you to tolerate his family problems, and support him with money, but is no longer ready or patient enough to listen to you and support you emotionally. So, now it's time to make a major change here. Instead of showing 'respect' for your mom, he should have shown respect for you.. think about that. He had his fun within the allowed time so naturally it was OK for him to get you home when she said to - hey, that's the easy part once a guy gets what he wants. But... is he there for you now?? And on a scale of 1-10 when you are together... is it mostly just sex and then fights for one reason or another, or is it warmth and comfort without stress?? Is this really the one you think is worth your time and effort for a life-time relationship?

If I were you, and as frustrated with the way things are going, I would give Dad a chance to see if he really cares. After all, it's not like you have to stay with him for the rest of your life and you just might learn something new, meet new friends, and have a better perspective on life.

So stop your complaining because you have some choices and plans to make to reach the goals you set for your future.

So, you loose your bickering and controlling mom, apathetic boyfriend and frustrating daily life... and go into something new that might surprise you. In my opinion, you've got nothing to loose. You might even make some super new friends and have some fun for a change without your mom messaging you like you were on a leash.

Good luck dear, and keep us posted. A change just might be what you need.