[Natasha083]

I met this guy 5 months ago, we started e-mailing each other almost every day and we became good friends. Two weeks ago he finally asked if we could be an item and I said yes, the thing is now he doesn't call or visit me. It feels like we are doing an internet dating. Few days ago I made a decision that I was going to dump him, but his friends won't let me; the say that he is crazy about me and he can't stop talking about me, they think that if I break up with him I would kill him. It does not make sense because he tell his friends how much he loves me, but not me. I don't want to be pushy, but should I tell him that I want him to call and visit more or should I just dump him?

[kp2171]

listen, all you can do is be up front, honest, and talk to HIM.

if you need him to do a little more, ask. Some guys are wired differently. Me... I HATE talking on the phone. Ill drive 5 hours to see you, ill text or email. If you call, ill chat for a bit, but I'm just not going to be my mates girlfriend who gabs all night. Its not how I'm wired.

I even think a little tension is healthy for a relationship. You want to have that other person wanting more time with you... but there's no need for head games. In the end, there needs to be middle ground that makes both people happy.

so... if he's a good guy and worth the trouble, talk to him. Tell him you need him to chase you a little bit with a call now and then and a visit too. And when he does, you need to acknowledge it... his efforts need to be appreciated. If he doesn't step up... well then you gave him the chance to do the right thing.

and that's really all a person ever needs. Be open, honest, and the rest is up to him.

if I have half a clue about anything... some of it is from how I'm "wired" and some of it is from being with strong women whod put me to the wall when I was an idiot. Now I guess I'm a more experienced idiot. =)

[Ivory0921]

Just let him know exactly how you feel about your set up. Then see if he changes how he is towards you. If he still doesn't - and you're still not happy about it - then dump him.