[AJT67]

Just a little curious here...

How much is too much, and how much is "average"?

My partner is 32, and I'm 40, and we are making love around fourteen times per week. No tiredness, no lack of energy, no discomfort, nothing. And it's always mutual; neither ever asks, it just happens.

I thought I was supposed to be slowing down as I get older?:)

[Synnen]

If you and your partner are BOTH happy, then it's not too much and it's not too little.

There is no defined amount you should be having in ANY relationship--you have to define it yourself.

[AJT67]

I guess I'm a little worried about the toll on her body, soreness etc, things like that, but she hasn't complained, so I guess I should just go with the flow.

[smoothy]

Average for me and wifey is 7 times a week. We are both in our 40's and married for 17 years. And that's been very consistent over that period. Some days will be more but we have busy schedules so finding time for more is rough. We are both more than happy at that rate.

But I might want to add that's about an hour session, not a 5 minute poke and stroke.

[0rphan]

Hi Ajt... As long as you talk to each other, then everythings fine.

There is always the chance that she feels she has to keep up with you, and vic/versa, but if that's already been talked about then... each to their own

[AJT67]

Guess that's why I feel so good about this girl; there is never any type of competing of any sorts going on between us.

In fact, in regard to the love making matter, very few words are said, it just seems to "happen".

Regards,

Andrew.

[Ash123]

How long have you been together?

2x a day is normal if both happy... At some point one person may want a bit less and the other takes it personally... that's when the compromise and communication come in.

for now, keep chugging!

[AJT67]

Been together a year now.

Zero communication and relationship problems, occasional language barrier issue, but is solve immediately. And we are not a couple who needs to "prove" anything to one another.

Fact is, I'm worried about causing her any discomfort, but she hasn't complained.

[Ash123]

Well, just ASK her.

You said "ZERO communication" issues... so, talk to her :-)

[AJT67]

LOL,

Ash123, are you joking? Or perhaps I worded things wrong?

Meant to say we communicate nearly perfectly. Two minor disagreements in a year, both resolved within minutes by both of us apologizing to one another.

That's why she's going to be my wife in May '09!

Andrew.

[asking]

So then you are fine to ask her if she ever feels any soreness?
I agree with others here that it would be a good thing to ask her about now.

[Choux]

Twice a day is very nice, very normal for new partners. For long time partners, the incidence of intercourse falls off considerable according to stats.

What I would be watching for are female bladder infections... keep them down to ZERO. They are caused when microorganisms travel up the 1 1/2 inch urethra into the urine holding bladder. If a man strokes too long, that increases the chances of a bladder infection in the female. Also, a woman gets sore from too much stroking or too much manual stimulation of the clitoris.

If she is free of infection and physical pain, I guess all is fine. She's not afraid of you, is she? Be sure and communicate with your partner to strengthen your bond and trust. :)

[BetrayalBtCamp]

Too much is when one partner is feeling forced, there are physical problems being caused or you are spending so much time at it that you lose your jobs & are on the edge of bankruptcy & homelessness.

Average may vary by who the research respondents are, but here's one example:

The Kinsey Institute - Sexuality Information Links - FAQ [Related Resources]

Frequency of sex

18-29 year olds have sex an average of 112 times per year, 30-39 year olds an average of 86 times per year, and 40-49 year olds an average of 69 times per year (Piccinino, Mosher, 1998).

23% of non-married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 25% reported only a few times in the past year, 26% reported a few times in the past month, 19% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

32% of non-married women reported they have never had sex in the past year, 23% reported only a few times in the past year, 24% reported a few times in the past month, 15% reported 2-3 times a week, and 5% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

1% of married men reported they have never had sex in the past year, 13% reported only a few times in the past year, 43% reported a few times in the past month, 36% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

3% of married women reported they have never had sex in the past year,

12% reported only a few time in the past year, 47% reported a few times in the past month, 32% reported 2-3 times a week, and 7% reported 4 or more times a week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).

13% of married couples reported having sex a few times per year, 45% reported a few times per month, 34% reported 2-3 times per week, and 7% reported 4 or more times per week (Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, Michaels, 1994).