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losingit77 · Aug 14, 2008, 03:51 PM

So, you can read my other posts but my ex boyfriend broke up with me almost 5 months ago because he "didn't want to be in a relationship anymore." We'd been together for 4 years and the subject of marriage and commitment was becoming increasingly an issue as I wanted it, he didn't. So we split. I was a mess for a couple of months... as was he mostly. I stopped all communication after about 1-2 months. Started living, dating, moving on with my life.

The problem is he STILL calls me. He makes contact about every 3-4 weeks. I try to ignore him as much as possible but usually after a couple of attempts by him I finally answer. And it's the usually conversation, "hey, how have you been, i miss you, etc." Again, today he called me. I wasn't going to respond but then I did.

Again, he wanted to know what was going on in my life, etc. Told me how he still cares for me soooooooo much, etc. I basically told him I wanted him to leave me alone. I told him continuing communication was pointless, especially since he was the one that wanted our relationship to be over. I told him I didn't want to know anything about his life and that my life was no longer any of his concern. I told him I cared about him too but that I think leaving each other alone is for the best.

I did the right thing, right? I just think its time to stop revisiting the past. I wasn't mean in my delivery or anything, just matter of fact, about it. I mean, come on. This guy hurt me when he ended things, why should I continue to be nice to him? What do I get out of it? Just a constant reminder of what happened...

progunr · Aug 14, 2008, 03:54 PM

I think you can be confident that you did the right thing.

He didn't want to commit, you wanted commitment, he broke it off.

Time to move on.

ylaira · Aug 14, 2008, 03:55 PM

Yes, you said the right thing but wrong in for still taking his calls and not changing your contact numbers. You're still close to the bait.

Tralyn · Aug 14, 2008, 04:09 PM

Some people remain friends after long term relationships... I don't know how they do it personally (too much history I think). I think you are in the right - if you want marriage at some point then you should be looking for someone that wants the same, staying with someone who definitely doesn't isn't going to get you where you want to be. Sometimes setting someone you love free isn't that easy to do, even though you know it has to be. Try not to beat yourself up.. the only thing that will remedy these hurt feelings is going to be Time.. and then maybe some tears and then some more time. That's usually how it goes, but that is how we heal.

friend4u178 · Aug 14, 2008, 11:58 PM

Originally Posted by losingit77

losingit77 agrees: Thanks! i'm tired of always being the "nice girl". He made his bed, he should lie in it.

Absolutely , why go back to square one when you have made so much progress.

You did the right thing:)

nickeknew · Aug 15, 2008, 12:09 AM

Most definitely it appears to be his loss

jpm247 · Aug 15, 2008, 02:00 AM

HI Losing it - though I know your not losing it anymore!

I remember your old posts, and I can see what your saying.

I think you have done the right thing, as this guy cannot give you what you wanted and he did break up with you. My ex broke up with me , and we went round in a circle for a few weeks and it just ended up with the same issues as before her end. So we ended it again and it got me nowhere just more hurt and confusion. Now I have decided that there is no point in maintaining any communication at all as its pointless.

I have no intention of being her friend, its best to leave the past in the past, and focus on the now and future, as they are the only things you have a positive influence on.

Id say that ignoring his calls is something really hard to do, I don't know if I could ignore my exes calls, but she doesn't call so I don't have that issue.

But keep on your path, and keep moving forward, and you def did the right thing.

Romefalls19 · Aug 15, 2008, 05:16 AM

Yes you did the right thing, but from now on stop answering his calls. No matter what, there are no excuses

quaely · Aug 15, 2008, 05:36 AM

Originally Posted by losingit77

So, you can read my other posts but my ex bf broke up with me almost 5 months ago because he "didn't want to be in a relationship anymore." We'd been together for 4 years and the subject of marriage and commitment was becoming increasingly an issue as I wanted it, he didn't. So we split. I was a mess for a couple of months...as was he mostly. I stopped all communication after about 1-2 months. Started living, dating, moving on with my life.

The problem is he STILL calls me. He makes contact about every 3-4 weeks. I try to ignore him as much as possible but usually after a couple of attempts by him I finally answer. And its the usually conversation, "hey, how have you been, i miss you, etc." Again, today he called me. I wasn't going to respond but then I did.

Again, he wanted to know what was going on in my life, etc. Told me how he still cares for me soooooooo much, etc. I basically told him i wanted him to leave me alone. I told him continuing communication was pointless, especially since he was the one that wanted our relationship to be over. I told him I didn't want to know anything about his life and that my life was no longer any of his concern. I told him I cared about him too but that i think leaving each other alone is for the best.

I did the right thing, right? I just think its time to stop revisiting the past. I wasn't mean in my delivery or anything, just matter of fact, about it. I mean, come on. This guy hurt me when he ended things, why should I continue to be nice to him? What do I get out of it? Just a constant reminder of what happened...

Good for you, it is time to move on. He apparently has commitment issues. Why don't you tell him unless he marries you you don't want to talk to him again. I am sure he will brake all contact.

liz28 · Aug 15, 2008, 05:58 AM

I think you already know you did the right thing but just wanted confirmed that you did. Remember you owe him nothing and no matter how many times he calls ignore him.

losingit77 · Aug 15, 2008, 01:14 PM

Thanks I know I did the right thing. I just wanted someone to tell me I'm not a b*tch. : )

Its just I feel fine now. I'm happy, dating, loving life. I absolutely now see that us breaking up was the right and BEST thing to do. I just don't need to keep hearing from him how much he misses me, cares about me, etc. I know he does, and I guess it feels good that he didn't just kick me to the curb and stuff but I just feel that there may be an ulterior motive on his part. Yeah, I know he still cares about me as do I for him, but I feel keeping contact is kind of his way of making sure I don't move too far away or move to far enough along. Its like he's trying to keep tabs on me. So, yeah, I'm cool. I don't feel like a b*tch anymore for doing what I did. Onwards and upwards!

Thanks all!

talaniman · Aug 15, 2008, 04:23 PM

Hey Losing(?), when you've had enough you'll let him know, you really don't care and "why does he have to keep fkn up your happy life by calling."

As long as he knows you still care even a little, he will continue to annoy you.

Back in the day, I was trying to get back with a female, and when she told me she was doing fine until I called, well that was the end of that.

Time to update that username, you think??