[xxmissconfusedxx]

:mad:
And I just found out that she has been talking smack about me to my brother. I really want to confront her but if I do my mom is going to be mad at me. Then again my mom raised me to defend myself. I want to go to her and say" I know you have been talking crap about me but im going to be the more mature one and ignore it but what you need to realize is if i stop taking care of you you will have to get up and do for yourself do you want to do that or would you like to be waited on hand and foot? You don't pay me and mom gives me money when she can. I can't get a fricken job because of you nor can i go out like a regular teen and have some fun because i am here with you all day. If you keep talking about me i will be done with you." Is that too harsh? I need advice on what I should do because I am really pissed and I'm not the type to just brush this off.:mad:

[twinkiedooter]

You did not say how old you are for starters or just why you are taking care of grandma or for how long this has gone on. Is she totally bedridden or is this just temporary. She may have made awful comments to your brother out of frustration of being pent up in the house.

Are you going to continue to care for grandma once school starts if you still attend school. Your venting here is fine, but we need a little more of the facts to help you with a good answer.

[Fr_Chuck]

Several things, first how did you find this out, if from your "brother" he could merely be lying for course to cause trouble, So unless you heard this directly from the person, you can not really believe it either.

Also older people often say things because things are not being done exactly the say they would do it.

[xxmissconfusedxx]

Im 18 and I'm not attending school. And she is not bedridden. She was in the hospital basically all of last yr and now she thinks she has a servant because when she came home from the hospital she couldn't walk or do anything but she is fine now and still refuses to do stuff for herself. Also I know my brother is not lying because he told me his girlfriend and my mother confirmed it.

[N0help4u]

You should have a discussion with her. Not sure how harshly or kindly you should approach it but you do need to talk it out. I don't think you should make it about what you can not do because of her.
I suggest maybe making a list of things you feel are necessary in helping her and a list of things you feel she is capable of doing herself and maybe presenting the things you feel she should be capable of as a list of things for her to accomplish rather than an I am NOT doing these for you.

For example:
Will HELP
Making sure you take your meds
Cooking
Running your bath water, helping in and out of tub
Changing sheets/making bed

Goals to accomplish for yourself
Fixing your own plate/put dirty dish in sink
Getting your own snacks
Putting your dirty clothes in a clothes basket
Throwing your garbage in the garbage can