[brodea]

So we moved into our house a month ago. It's a great neighborhood (mostly 50's ramblers right off a lake). When we came to look at the house a few times before we bought it, we noticed the next door neighbor kids (4 total all girls and sweet as can be) were always over playing with the little kids who lived there at the time. This didn't really worry us as we thought it would be great to have so many kids for our 2 year old to play with. The day we closed on the house, we pulled up to the front and a neighbor across the street introduced herself and told us to watch out for the next door neighbors as they are very "clingy". This should have been our first warning. During the first week of living there, we noticed the parents were always home day or night. They didn't seem to have jobs. We found out shortly thereafter that they were renting the home. The father claims he is a contractor of some sort and is waiting on a job to start in a town nearby. The mother doesn't claim to be working but takes her kids to Wal-Mart nearly everyday to buy them new clothes, purses, toys, movies, etc. They go out to eat or order in almost every day. So it was within the first week of living there that they asked if we could give them a ride somewhere-for reasons I can't remember. Just a week ago, they asked if they could borrow 30 dollars to buy their daughter's birthday cake and said something about not being able to get to an ATM or something. Then two days ago, my husband (who works from home) noticed the whole family was outside sitting in the backyard all day (which is unusual for them) and later that evening they came knocking at our door and asked if they could run an extension cord from the back of their house so their girls could watch TV before they went to bed. She claimed their power went out after a squirrel ran across the lines and got electrocuted and the electric company wouldn't come out for 1-3 days because they didn't consider it an emergency. I said OK because all of the girls were there with her and I couldn't say no because I felt terrible. They disconnected it yesterday for a little while then came back and the mom came back later with the extension cord and asked if she could reconnect it to watch TV-the cord has been connected ever since. The past few days, their girls have been acting rather down in the dumps and don't have the usual spunk so I figured something was up and I called the energy company to find out when the work order was in to repair the service (note-all along my husband and I had the feeling it was because they weren't paying their bills) and found out they had their connection turned off. So now I'm wondering how we can gracefully tell them we cannot supply their power any longer. I'm so concerned for their girls but am beginning to think their parents are deadbeats and no longer have respect for them. I want to help but only because of the girls but don't want to help because if you need to borrow the electricity to watch TV-you should be out hunting for a job to pay your bills and not leaching off you neighbors!! Donate Plasma, sell stuff anything if you can't find a job. Any advise would be appreciated.

[N0help4u]

I know so many people that USE their kids so that neighbors say oh I feel I need to help 'for the kids.' It isn't worth it cause you end up doing way too much 'for the kids'
Also the electric company gives out huge fines for running extension cords from house to house because of fire hazard. I was told about it in Texas and Pennsylvania and one was apartment to apartment.

Tell them to go to Catholic Charities and energy crisis

[Fr_Chuck]

Yes tell them no, after a few no's, ** expcect them to get mad and somehow try and make it sound like your fault.

[N0help4u]

I wanted to add that most often parents whose electric gets shut off or they don't have enough food stamps to get them through the month usually are wasting what they do have and then relying on people to have the 'for the kids' feelings of compassion so the parents never learn to budget their money cause they always figure some body else will pull through for them. If you see they are really trying and not selling food stamps, not buying drugs, alcohol or Rent A Center or other unnecessary things then it is fine to be helpful but maybe help more with giving them clothes or furniture you no longer want or canned goods or something.

[brodea]

OK-since I posted, my husband and I got fed up yesterday afternoon and I told him to flip the circuit for that outlet so that their power would go out. Our intention was that so they would come over and he would tell them we cannot supply their power because it's shorting our circuit. So he did so and continued on with working, pretty soon he can hear the neighbors knocking. My husband continued with his work as he was busy and ignored them. They came back twice, three times and then the fourth time he finally answered the door and of course she's there with all of her kids around her. The neighbor lady was like "I think you have a short! Let me have my husband help you with that!" They neighbor guy comes down fixes it and tells my husband he will let us know if it worked! The Nerve! But my husband also didn't put his foot down. The neighbors claim they only need it until today when the power company is coming (we know their not coming). So last night we just pulled the plug and left a note on our outlet saying we're not comfortable with it. We will speak to them tonight when we are both done with our work days but we have to do it together to keep strong as we have issues with saying no to people (clearly)! We will assist them in finding the right resources if they come clean with us about their financial issues. We will no longer accept favors from them and we will no longer do favors for them. Hopefully I can stick to that when I actually have to talk to them.
Just really ticks me off that my husband and I bust our butts and pinch our pennies and don't spend on frivolous things (eating out, little toys and junk we don't need) so we can get ahead and have nicer things then it all goes out the toilet when people like this leach off us. We've had experiences with this in college and you'd think we'd have learned our lesson!

[N0help4u]

They already gave you a time limit that they would be okay after today so use their words back at them that that was the agreed time limit and you do not plan on extending it because you are uncomfortable with it. Also, as you said, maybe offer to help them find some energy assistance programs and a budgeting class.