[coogiez]

One day,
Say, a few from now,

I had just came inside, had sat down at my desk, and started too draw a vast landscape.
With as many hills, valleys, cliffs, fauna and flora possible.

Nearly completing the picture, I shuddered,

My shoulders ran cold, my fingers like ice, feet numb and chest shaking.


It had been several hours,
It was now dark,
My family, cats, dogs, birds and humans alike were asleep,

Time had passed so quickly,
And all that gave light was an old lamp right next too me,
That hanged over the page, but out of my heads way.

It had given the illusion of day too my focused eyes.
I had now lost my feeling of comfort inside my imagination.

And everything felt dull.


So I ran too my door,
Switched on my light, pulled the cover off my bed and threw it around me.

Sat down on the seat again, and wrapped myself up in my cover, feet and all.

I now felt warm, my fingers a bit cold,
By everything was feeling right again.



There are millions upon millions that will never have that feeling.



I threw my blanket on the ground,
Switched off the light,

Turned on the lamp and sat down, cold again.

And tried so hard too get that feeling without the help.

It came.


And I was more comfortable then I had ever been.

[Clough]

Now, I'm not exactly sure what type of writing style it is that you might be trying to use here, coogiez. But, what you have written above is much closer to one of the types of poetry that a person could write. In fact, it's even close to being the possible lyrics to a song if it were arranged a bit differently...

There are many different styles of poetry...

[coogiez]

To put it blatently, I don't try to follow ideals of writing,
I write what I write how I write it.


More or less...

Look at it as a way of social standings.


Because some people need too be thrown into the arctic ocean too really understand why being grateful too the person that first made fire means so much.

[Clough]

Okay, fair enough. I was just trying to give positive and proactive feedback to you concerning what you had written. I hope that you appreciate that.

If you are trying to make some sort of statement as to social standings and the way that people think in certain ways about justice in interpersonal relationships, then perhaps what you write, even though it has possibilities of being something profound creatively, should be written in another topic area more suited to what you are trying to express, such as one of the Member's Discussion areas.

[coogiez]

^.^