[lillobaby]

Me and my husband have been paying child support and all medical expen for his daughter since birth. The mother has been on welfare for most of her kids life. She lives with her parents with 12 other people and has no bills. My stepdaughter is now almost 16 and of course needs more. I always pay for all her clothes and still put money in her account. She has great insurance through us and still when the Mother takes her to the doctors she can't manage to pay the 20 dollar copay, she bills US. The child won't come for visit, even though its stated in the court order , because we are to strict and have to many rules, the mom can care less if she comes as long as we keep paying its okay. She claims we need to pay even after she becomes 18. I wonder if there is anything we can do now to get the mom to get working and pitch in for her daughter. I have four other children to provide for and both my husnband and I work full time since we were 16. I told her today that I would pay half of her clothes if she would pitch in the rest and she always says I don't work and I don't have any money. Its so fustrating and I wonder if we can do something about this. Any thoughts on this? I would appreciate it... Christina

[MsMewiththat]

I would say hang in there the two more years, it's almost over. However I would have to cut back on what extra you do for this child. She is also of an age where she can get a job for her clothes. If her mother won't teach her to be responsible for herself, you can bby letting her know you want better for her and she should get a part time job and that you will meet her half way on her clothes. Also I think that if the daughter was going to go on to college or remains a student beyond 18 you may have some obligation but it should be defined in the child support papers. If not go back to court now and get it defined.

[stinawords]

First go back to court ot have the visitation enforced so that you get your time with her. Second, stop paying the extra stuff. Keep all reciepts for everything you do. You are going to have to go back to court if you want anything to change but for starters just stop paying what isn't included in the order basically things are going to get worse before they get better but I can't urge you enough to go back to court.

[cdad]

Is the child support court ordered ? If it is then maybe you need to get a modification and then only pay what's in the order if the mother doesn't come around. She's already getting extra money from the state if she is on welfare. Also depending on the state you live in it may not stop at 18. Some states run child support till 21.

[lillobaby]

Thanks for replying. First off my stepdaughter hates coming, she pouts stays in a room ignores us and just makes us all feel like crap. She basically comes for the goods and wants to leave right after. She can't work because she has very bad grades. It's a court order and we can modify it but I always fear that it can make it worst for us instead of helping us. I just thought that by law the mother should be made to work to help with the financial responsibilities of her kids. What is the law for child support after age 18 in California? Thanks for all your advice..

[cdad]

In Cali it stops at 18. That's the age of emancipation. You would have to agree for it to continue ( like helping pay for collage etc ). Also with being 18 comes the completion of High School or until 19th birthday. Now if she has a baby or something like that then it stops right away because in Cali a minor having a baby gets automatic emancipation.

[lillobaby]

Wow, that thanks for telling me that.. It makes me feel a whole lot better. It sounds bad, but trust me not a good situation and she makes it hard to want to help. Being on aid for over 9 years just gets to me.. Thanks again..