[wishes]

:( hi. Recently I just lost my father when I was 13 and I'm 14 :/ going to be 15.its been pretty hard not money and that stuff but emotional . When my mum talks about him I just feel like killing her cause its likes I didn't manage to forgive him and after all it wasn't his fault. But I don't know how to forgive him. He was one of my best friends and after losing him I feel a whole part of my life is gone and I feel guilty that I could have stopped him from dying and that part of it was my fault!! I didn't mean to can anyone help me

[MsMewiththat]

What happened?

[wishes]

He died of lung cancer

[MsMewiththat]

There is no way that is your fault. I am so sorry for your loss. Death is something that no one at any age can prepare for, but your loss at such a young age has to be so very hard. Forgiveness will come in time, when you realize that it is no ones fault. We all owe him a death. We are all here on a temporary basis and your dad's time came. Your mom is probably trying to deal with this the best way possible as well. Why do you get upset when she talks about him? What part upsets you?

[MsMewiththat]

It is important for you to never forget anything wonderful that you and your Dad shared. Remember how proud of you he was and remember the things that he wanted for you. He would have never wanted his death to be cause for your life to change in the bad way. You have to live on for him and do all of the things that he wanted to do with his life and all of the things that he wanted for you.

[wishes]

Thanks.that helps a whole lot!

[MsMewiththat]

I hope it does, but really if you don't mind me asking, what part of your mom talking about your dad upsets you?

[asking]

My mother died when I was 14 and I felt the same way. I was angry with her for abandoning me. And I was angry with my father for a couple of reasons. He was driving when he got into the accident that killed her, so I blamed him for her death. On top of that, he wanted me to comfort him when he thought about her and cried. I was just so mad. But I had no one to talk to but him and I knew I couldn't blame him to his face. So I pretty much didn't say anything. I wouldn't cry with him or comfort him, which drove us apart. Instead I would cry alone at night.

All I can tell you is that it gets better. Gradually, you'll forgive your dad for leaving. It certainly was not your fault in anyway and there is nothing you could have done. (Feeling helpless isn't a great feeling either, I know.)

But I agree that it's best to think about how you carry his good traits inside of you and everything good you can remember about him you'll always have with you. So in some ways, he's not gone at all. As for your mother, I hope you can find a way to forgive her too for whatever is upsetting you, because I am guessing you really need each other now.

If you can say why you are mad at your mother that might help you feel better and help people here have a better idea what to say that might help.

Take care of yourself. It is so hard to lose a parent, and it takes time to heal, but you will, and life will have good things to offer, you'll see.

[wishes]

thanks ^.^

[alih786]

NEVER EVER SAY YOU WANT TO KILL Anyone UNLESS YOU MEAN IT. My mum - she's the most loving person in my life, in fact my OLY Friend in life. Without her, I'm nothing!

[fixxs]

In no way was this your fault when it is stuff like that u can't blame yourself because u didn't give him cancer
And the only reason u get mad at your mom is because u both haven't got over it and it brings back memories and it makes u sad and your body doesn't want to be sad so it becomes mad