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the seeker · Jul 28, 2008, 07:28 AM

How can I get my son's father to pay at least for his son's expenses? This includes his private school, sports, etc. What I get on a weekly basis doesn't even cover food and transportation. Please help he is very sneaky.

NeedKarma · Jul 28, 2008, 07:29 AM

Take him out of private school to start if you can't afford the basics.

the seeker · Jul 28, 2008, 07:43 AM

His is been use to private school all his live and I been paying for it, High school is a lot more and all I want is his father to pay for 1/2 since the school district where we live is not good at all with public school education.

JudyKayTee · Jul 28, 2008, 08:13 AM

[QUOTE=Comments on this post
the seeker disagrees: not what I'm asking for. QUOTE]

You have misused the comments feature - if you don't agree with the legality of the advice then comment. It is not for your personal unhappiness with the answer.

That being said - if these are legitimate expenses in line with your standard of living the Court will award them. If they are not, the Court won't.

The term "shark lawyer" is as offensive and is not going to win you any "points." Try someone familiar with the law in your area.

the seeker · Jul 28, 2008, 08:27 AM

What do you mean by legitimate expenses with my standard of living? I'm not good with law as you can see and the shark term I was told to ask for one. Is there a better term?

NeedKarma · Jul 28, 2008, 08:32 AM

My wife used to be a family lawyer - a "shark" would an aggressive lawyer who oftens berates the other side just at the limit of being reported to the bar association. They are often low on morals/ethics in order to win at all costs.

Now on to your issue: is there a child support order in place?

the seeker · Jul 28, 2008, 08:39 AM

There is but like I say it barely pays for food and transportation. What you have described sounds exactly like his lawyers where mine was just eaten alive and everything what taken from me. The divorced was done 7 years ago but I undertands that when it comes to the child the order can change anytime. Like I said I been paying for all his schooling since he was 3yrs and his activitites which the father approves but refuses to pay. Now soon he is going to middle school and I want to make sure he helps because there is a big jump in price.

JudyKayTee · Jul 28, 2008, 09:30 AM

Originally Posted by the seeker

What do you mean by legitimate expenses with my standard of living? I'm not good with law as you can see and the shark term I was told to ask for one. Is there a better term?

The Court will look at the levels of income, how you lived before the divorce as well as the child's standard of living and attempt to keep that same standard of living now. For example, if you drove a Toyota before the divorce you are not going to receive an Order to drive a Jaguar now.

Also - depending on the State you live in child support may be by Statute - a certain percentage, no exceptions.

stinawords · Jul 28, 2008, 10:16 AM

What state are you in? As already pointed out different states have different laws concerning support and the way it is figured. The judge may rule that there is an increase in support if you take him back however, he may also rule that it stay the same or possibley be lowered depending on the fathers income. The judge has to have more than you wanting to keep the child in private schools to increase support. It may be that you are trying to live outside of your means.

George_1950 · Jul 28, 2008, 10:40 AM

Originally Posted by the seeker

How can I get my son's father to pay at least for his son's expenses? This includes his private school, sports, etc. What I get on a weekly basis doesn't even cover food and transportation. Please help he is very sneaky.

What state? A good source for locating a trial lawyer is the American Trial Lawyers Association (the name may have changed). Check this: Modifying Child Support Orders

Fr_Chuck · Jul 28, 2008, 10:49 AM

Child support is based on a percent of incomes, has nothing to do with your bills. If your income based on your work, and the child support that was set by the state is not enough, there is no "more" to get if he presented his honest income. It is not uncommom at all for the parent with custody to have to move to a cheaper home, to take kids out of private school and the such, since they were used to the other person to pay all of those types of bills. There is no requirement for those to be paid, merely a percentage of income. ** and some other factors depending on state.

ScottGem · Jul 28, 2008, 12:38 PM

Is the Great White from Jaws suing Steven Spielberg?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

You have gotten good advice. If you can't sfford to maintain the style of living for you and your child that you had pre divorce, you have to go back for modification of the support agreement. If you can't get it modified, thyen you need to change your life style.

JudyKayTee · Jul 28, 2008, 02:04 PM

Originally Posted by George_1950

What state? A good source for locating a trial lawyer is the American Trial Lawyers Association (the name may have changed). Check this: Modifying Child Support Orders

Sorry, George, but this site is sponsored by Attorneys who pay the freight so no one has to pay dues. I do not believe it is appropriate to post the name/names of other Attorneys or a means of contacting them.

Similar posts have been pulled before - this may or may not take business from Attorneys who care enough to pay for this site.

George_1950 · Jul 28, 2008, 04:24 PM

[QUOTE=JudyKayTee]Sorry, George, but this site is sponsored by Attorneys who pay the freight so no one has to pay dues. I do not believe it is appropriate to post the name/names of other Attorneys or a means of contacting them.
QUOTE]
Sorry! I meant to recommend contacting a member of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America, but I don't see a way to access members.

the seeker · Jul 29, 2008, 04:08 AM

Thanks everyone, I live in MA. I don't want him to pay only the private school, that 's just a continuation of my son's live but also his expenses. I'm willing to pay half. The proble is that for 10yrs is all been me with no help. One example, his Karate classes for the 6 yrs he has take is over $8000 the father insist in him take it them but not paying for them. Just recently had to stop after 6 yrs. All his camps I pay etc etc

George_1950 · Jul 29, 2008, 09:05 AM

Originally Posted by the seeker

Thanks everyone, I live in MA. I don't want him to pay only the private school, that 's just a continuation of my son's live but also his expenses. I'm willing to pay half. The proble is that for 10yrs is all been me with no help. One example, his Karate classes for the 6 yrs he has take is over $8000 the father insist in him take it them but not paying for them. Just recently had to stop after 6 yrs. All his camps I pay etc etc

And this just gets 'worse and worse', as the case may be, because activities get more involved and expensive, while the dollar is worth less and less. One issue you are faced with is getting his approval of the activities if he is being asked to pay for them. The lines of communication must be wide open for both of you for this approach to work; otherwise, you may be limited to the legal definition of child support, which will always be inadequate to provide your child with the best of opportunities.

JudyKayTee · Jul 29, 2008, 09:08 AM

[QUOTE=George_1950I meant to recommend contacting a member of the Association of Trial Lawyers of America, but I don't see a way to access members.[/QUOTE]

Usually the name or names pop up following the post based on the location of the OP. (Note the use of the word "usually." That's my disclaimer :D )

And actually I'd advise a Matrimonial/Family Law Attorney instead of a trial Attorney.