I Feel Like My Husband's Mother
I recently married someone who has been pursuing me for the past 10 years or so. After years of that, and a string of toxic relationships and money issues, I decided to finally respond to him. Initially, we planned to get married in April of 09, but moved the date to this month... that was a huge mistake. While we've been friends for years, we hadn't been a couple for very long and he's 4 years younger than I too... he had been paying my bills and come to find out, not paying his own... he'd been asking his relatives for damn near everything... now we're married and struggling more than I ever thought we would be. Every other day I find another financial landmine for us to dig through... stuff I would have found out about if we would have just slowed the hell down.
He has made many decisions in life that are very... well, I know he's young for me, but he's young for HIMSELF... some stuff you're just supposed to know as an adult.
I'm supposed to be in the honeymoon phase, aren't I? Instead, I'm always nagging about him digging in the fridge without washing his hands, and reminding him to iron his shirt before leaving the house... to change your toothbrush after 3-6 months and not A YEAR AND A HALF :mad: and to have a goal of trying to own a pair of socks or underwear without holes.
I don't feel secure or protected... I don't feel like he's the head of the home. It just seems like he's a roommate or something. I feel like I'm out here pulling myself up by my own bootstraps... just like before I got married.
Then he wants romance... I'm extremely uptight. I'm a very sensual being, and I don't even want him to touch me. I feel like I'm climbing in bed with kid brother's best friend or something. Thing is, we're only like 3 weeks into this marriage. HELP!
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