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mariacook · Jul 25, 2008, 05:55 PM

It started about two and a half years ago. We helped my husbands niece. She lived with us during her pregnancy and I helped her through everything. (Before this I helped raise her since she was five.) I then became pregnant and she completely changed toward me. She became hateful and jealous. She then proceeded to tell my husband many lies about me causing us to fight constantly. Than she started wearing sexy clothes around him and coming on to him. I did not want to believe it for a very long time but then his mother, sister and her sister brought it to my attention, amongst others. I told him and he denied everything. After this she continuously bothered him, calling him, finding reasons to talk to him, calling everyone looking for him. As time progressed she became more and more jealous of our relationship. She the would tell him comment like so now you are going to go home and let that cow crawl on top of you, and many other things. Her sister told me she worries because she is constantly obsessing about our sexual relationship. She also compares herself to me often wandering what my husband likes more. Than as time went by she started to come to my house when I was gone and would only look for him if I was not around. She finds any protest to bug him. I am worried because recently she told a friend of mine that she is not related to him, then she told a woman I don't know but is a friend of my mom's that I took him from her. She also insinuated to this woman that my husband is her daughters father, and that they are having sex. I pray to god this is not true. I have confronted my husband and he always denies it and he also acts surprised but I don't know what to think. I have also caught her driving by my house or where he is it is almost like she is stalking him. I need help what should I do or how do I resolve this problem? There is much more that has happened but I will just get this in so I can get a little help. I also want to add there is no way possible that I took my husband from her she was only five when we got together.

Ash123 · Jul 25, 2008, 05:57 PM

What does your husband say about her behavior?

Maybe he should rent Lolita and see how it turns out in the end...

mariacook · Jul 25, 2008, 06:01 PM

My husband does not say too much. He tells me is is not doing anything wrong. He says it is all her that she is just crazy. I do tell him is he must of gave her a reason to act like this, but I could be wrong.

Ash123 · Jul 25, 2008, 06:04 PM

You cannot do much, but if you all are close then I hope you can be an allied front and not put up with any BS... a lot of young girls that are insecure and yes, messed up, like to stir the pot and get attention. If you both ignore her for a few months it may die down (your hubby needs to agree that the sexual references etc. are annoying you and to help not feed the fire - or act like he is ignoring her just to make you happy... that would be insincere.) I sense that you feel a bit threatened and that you do not feel backed up on this - by him or her.

ylaira · Jul 25, 2008, 06:10 PM

Why not have the child undergo paternity test? If her allegations were not true, issue her a Restraining Order.

mariacook · Jul 25, 2008, 06:17 PM

I am not sure how to answer these questions but I am not backed him at all. He just thinks I am reading more into it than what it is, but everyone saw it before me. Even one time at a birthday party my child asked if they are dating. To the other post I know the child is not my husbands this started after I got pregnant with my last child and she had already had her child. My mom told me recently that she has had a fantasy about him for a while now. I do feel threatened but not so much about her stilling him because that is just disgusting , but what she might do. I am also worried because we have many children.

mariacook · Jul 25, 2008, 06:19 PM

If I do find out they had sex I will not stay because that is just wrong. I just hope it has not happened and how to stop it.

ylaira · Jul 25, 2008, 06:22 PM

You are not a celebrity but you can sue her with restraining order. Whether you like or not she's creating damage on your family's reputation. Neighbors and friends talk about you, some may believe, some may defend some were not. Not only she's insuating adultery but also incest.Thats the only thing you can do to bring everything into light.

Ash123 · Jul 25, 2008, 06:26 PM

Time for a serious talk. Be calm and supportive but look him in the eye as you are talking (be polite but clear that if you do not feel supported your relationship it is trouble - so he should not mess it up. You are NOT scared to take action if you are disrespected).

Really though, if you can both ignore her it will do you best.

ylaira · Jul 25, 2008, 06:34 PM

Oral defamation maybe... This thread should be moved to Legal Category since your problem is the niece alone.

Not that I am scaring you, but there are thousands of possibility in world, Anyone here knows Josef Fritzl? So just try to be rational. There are little kids around.

talaniman · Jul 26, 2008, 05:42 AM

but then his mother, sister and her sister brought it to my attention, amongst others. I told him and he denied everything.

Your husband needs to wake up and defend himself, as if his family sees these things then it must be serious and he needs to know and take action. Confront her with him present and air this out. How old is everyone involved?

The more support you have, the better.

N0help4u · Jul 26, 2008, 05:51 AM

He needs to wake up and defend you as well.
What does his mother, sister and her sister say about everything else? Can they talk some sense into her or your husband?
He says it is all her that she is just crazy. So why does he put up with it?
Ask him why has he done all this arguing with you if it is HER that is crazy. Or why he sticks up for her instead of taking your side.

mariacook · Jul 27, 2008, 12:20 PM

To answer some questions she is 21, he is 34, and I am 30.
His sister tried to tell both of them and she of course denies it.
His mother got on to him. They are totally on my side.
I have confronted her and she stopped for awhile but she is at it again.

N0help4u · Jul 27, 2008, 12:23 PM

Tell her right out to go find her own man.
Ask her if she would find your behavior appropriate if you acted like that around a guy she liked.

talaniman · Jul 27, 2008, 12:37 PM

I think you need to tell your husband to nip this in the bud, or he can have the lyin little beeyatch, and be prepared to enforce it.

I think your reaching your limit, and its time to ban her from your home, and phone.

Kevin_s · Jul 27, 2008, 03:02 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

I think you need to tell your husband to nip this in the bud, or he can have the lyin little beeyatch, and be prepared to enforce it.

I think your reaching your limit, and its time to ban her from your home, and phone.

That's the first time I've seen Talaniman use a cuss word!

"Say it like Too $hort, BIATCHHHHHHHHHH"

Oh man, Talaniman is epic.

================================================== ========

Original Poster,

There is a 13 year age difference between the Niece and Uncle. These feelings could have stemmed from a young age in her since he was still merely a teenager. She feels this bond with him, and doesn't understand how to share it, and is upset that now she is with a child and alone. On top of that, she see's this man that she looked up to and cared about for so long with some other woman, she isn't getting the attention from him anymore or from many people for that matter because of your pregnancy and she resents you for it.

Maybe she's just stirring up trouble because she knows you'll hear about it and she wants to make your life difficult? Maybe she really does have incestual tendencies, or maybe (but I highly doubt) thather accusations and stories are true.

You met your husband when he was 18, so you were 14 at the time. Maybe she has always resented you for taking his affection/attention during her adolescent life?

mariacook · Jul 30, 2008, 11:22 AM

I guess it could be possible for her to resent me, but she was only five at the time. Also she was always close to me and not him until all of this began. Me and my husband have five children so why all of a sudden would she be jealous of the last. I agree for her to grow up and realize that she needs to grow up and realize that this is her uncle. The scary thing is that she is now telling people that he is not her uncle. I have told her to leave us alone I have even told her mother. For a while everything was doing good because her mother made her stop but she has started her crap again. I have done many things I just don't want to stoop to her level. My sister-n-law told me to hire a private detective to see what is truly going on. I also have had several people tell me that they have seen her driving by wherever my husband is for the last week.. I think she has nothing better to do. I wish she would find a man and leave mine alone. The sad thing is she is such a witch that no one wants her.

Kevin_s · Jul 31, 2008, 02:44 PM

Originally Posted by mariacook

I guess it could be possible for her to resent me, but she was only five at the time. Also she was always close to me and not him until all of this began. Me and my husband have five children so why all of a sudden would she be jealous of the last. I agree for her to grow up and realize that she needs to grow up and realize that this is her uncle. The scary thing is that she is now telling people that he is not her uncle. I have told her to leave us alone I have even told her mother. For a while everything was doing good because her mother made her stop but she has started her crap again. I have done many things I just don't want to stoop to her level. My sister-n-law told me to hire a private detective to see what is truly going on. I also have had several people tell me that they have seen her driving by wherever my husband is for the last week.. I think she has nothing better to do. I wish she would find a man and leave mine alone. The sad thing is she is such a witch that no one wants her.

You could try to get a temporary restraining order until she gets some kind of counseling?

My buddies girlfriend was dating this guy before him, and when they broke up he got sort of... stalkerish... he tatooed her name on his chest AFTER they broke up so she got a temporary restraining order which then led to a permanent restraining order.

N0help4u · Jul 31, 2008, 02:46 PM

If her husband does not agree that that is a good idea then it could cause marriage problems and even if she gets one that does not mean he will not keep contact with her.

Kevin_s · Jul 31, 2008, 02:54 PM

Originally Posted by N0help4u

If her husband does not agree that that is a good idea then it could cause marriage problems and even if she gets one that does not mean he will not keep contact with her.

But if she talks to him first about this temporary restraining order, and he agrees to stop contact. If he starts contacting her, then that's a good way to find out if something more is going on than what is being said, right?

Maybe we can find this niece a boyfriend that's her age that looks like the uncle lol.