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starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 04:42 AM

I had a dream I need some advice? I met the guy online and now we are talking on the phone .
I have a date on this Friday but I actually had a dream which took me into Thrusday which is one day before Friday I was laying down where I normally lay and I woke up it was Thrusday . Yes I had a premonition .I got an uneasy feeling like something is not right and I shouldn't even go on this date. Well let me tell you a little bit about the guy he already told me he likes to call his women dogs and he is a man and he is in control. He wants me to wear a short skirt without anything underneath . He wants to pick me up and have sex with me the first day we meet. He claims he is going to take me to shoot pool first. But how do I know he is telling the truth ? This guy is 40 and he is into martial arts . So that's a little information if that helps.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 05:08 AM

MOst younger guys that call people 'dog' are into drugs. It was pretty much a term for the drug dealer. Big dog the main dealer, little dog the middle man and all the dogs the drug users. It has gotten to where it can be used for any in 'the hood'

But how do I know he is telling the truth ?
He wants me to wear a short skirt without anything underneath . He wants to pick me up and have sex with me the first day we meet.

What do you mean by But how do I know he is telling the truth ?
That sounds like what you would ask if a guy said he was taking you to a fancy restaurant and buying you flowers NOT we'll shot a game of pool and then you be my booty call!

He sounds like the type of guy that you are just a number in the line at the deli and while you are crying
"Why hasn't he called me back yet" he is out with the next girl in line.

Any guy that can tell you sex on the first date and he hasn't even met you yet
I would take the dream to heart and RUN! Your dream made you uneasy for a reason!

Don't sell yourself short like that you deserve WAY better.
His type girl comes a dime a dozen!

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 05:12 AM

Thanks so much :)

JBeaucaire · Jul 23, 2008, 05:14 AM

I think you can believe him, he wants to shoot pool and then have sex with you, possibly calling/treating you like a dog during. Sounds perfectly believable.

That your question? Really? Nothing wrong with any of this to you?

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 05:20 AM

Well Im sure I should date him . I think he is being a jerk.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 05:21 AM

Originally Posted by starcrush

Well Im sure I should date him . I think he is being a jerk.

Should
Typ0--- I sure do hope!

You are NOT at all obligated to him so do not go out with him.
Control guys are loose cannons and you can never know what or how much they are capable of

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 05:23 AM

Can you guys see this relationship becoming an abusive one . If I give this guy a chance ?

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 05:25 AM

Im almost ready to give this online dating stuff up. Yes I want someone that loves me but I don't want to get abused . My father was abusive towards me.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 05:34 AM

That is EXACTLY what I am trying to tell you.

Why do you want to go out with a guy that wants sex first date]
Most likely is doing this with a different girl every week
Is disrespectful by calling you dog

Where do you really see this relationship going?

Guys that like control usually this is what happens
He does his own thing and you have no idea is he out messing with another girl or is he out doing something illegal or is he just out hanging with his buddies? Then he sees that he is getting away with things and you are okay with pampering him. So then he takes it a set further and takes you for granted and tells you you are not allowed to have friends or makes you feel horrible if you do and you disobey him. It gets progressively worse and you feel too trapped to do anything but let everything be his way. Then they feel they have you and abuse you
Then if he is into drugs it is even worse.
If you want a guy like this you would be better off going to the bar and picking the most decent guy in that bar than meeting this guy. He sounds like real bad news. His type are a dime a dozen in my neighborhood.

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 05:41 AM

You need to tell him asap that you can't go out with him.
Change your phone number, emails, I-M's if you have to.
You can do better.
Any guy that starts disrespecting you is only going to get worse
NEVER better

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 05:48 AM

That's what I was thinking because he is already disrespecting me . This is only the beginning.

erin7799 · Jul 23, 2008, 06:41 AM

Wow. And you're still considering going out with this guy? Were you looking for a relationship or sex? If the guy is telling you already that he wants you to wear a short skirt w/ nothing underneath yes he is showing some sort of control. You were OK with just shooting pool and diving right into sex on the first date? Don't go. You know better. You're having second thoughts for a reason and that may be because this isn't really what you want. Respect yourself first and others will follow. Good Luck

JBeaucaire · Jul 23, 2008, 11:05 AM

He's not disrespecting you. I know it feels like he is, and I'm sure people will disagree with me, but he's not. He has a way of interacting with the world that works for him. You barely know him and you already see it. So, he's not hiding anything from you. He's being himself.

Disrespectful is saying one thing then doing another, promising one behavior but acting another. He's not doing this. He's not disrespecting you. He's looking for a submissive girl who LIKES being treated like a submissive. Those girls are out there, and he needs to find one.

Let him.

erin7799 · Jul 23, 2008, 11:13 AM

You should probably just let it alone and do something else. I've never ever continued to talk to someone online who has made me uncomfortable. You know in your gut what it is that you're feeling. The dream very well may have stemmed from having a fear of meeting him in person. I personally have met awesome people from the internet. I've never had a bad experience. Usually the only reason I stopped seeing them was due to the fact we lived so far away from each other. I also chose not to meet anyone from my area because the men around here honestly just didn't have a lot to offer. But you know what to do. Just don't give in to his... "charm" if that's what you'd call it :) Find someone else.

yuyachan · Jul 23, 2008, 11:15 AM

Things are possibal that he is telling the truth but you can never trust people online I mean for all you know I could be a 13 yr old girl giving out information... I am 13 but I give out good info.. the thing is you can never trust this guy- u don't know who he is and what he does when he talks to u. he could be naked for all you know! I hope that this doesn't freak you out.but if I were you I would keep down the online dating- I if you already have a merderer after you go right ahaead- but you can never be too carful

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 11:21 AM

Yes I totally agree with JB that technically is his world view and normal to him and it is not meant as disrespect but really it still is disrespectful in a sense. But really it is more on her part if she puts up with it than his because she would be consenting and allowing it.
Like my neighbors know I do not like drugs and do not want any part of them and they say they would never disrespect me but if and when they start doing their drugs in front of me it is disrespectful to me BUT I have the choice to walk away. So ultimately it is what I am going to put up with rather than what they do.
Like I know many guys that will say they love you BUT their concept of love is so far off
You either love them and accept their limited idea of love or you break up.

She needs to respect herself to not accept his idea of how to treat a woman.
His idea of love very well could be sex on the first date but that doesn't make it a good or a right thing. Same with respect, he is accustomed to calling people dog, b!eotch and other degrading words as if they had no negative meaning but why fall into that mentality
To have a relationship.

hjpan · Jul 23, 2008, 11:46 AM

Sounds like a pedophile type.

Tell him you got plans and your friend was in a car accident.. so you went out of town..

then change your number and every info you gave to that douche.

Damn... even 40 year olds arent mature...

Screw his martial arts...

JBeaucaire · Jul 23, 2008, 02:56 PM

No, he doesn't sound like a pedophile. Hjpan, you are continually freaky with your advice, but hey, speak your mind, lol.

Starcrush, clear out your Private Messages so I can respond to your private message.

starcrush · Jul 23, 2008, 03:28 PM

I cleared it out . Im trying to picture this if he calls me that b word too much I might start crying. I don't mind being submissive but I have limitations

N0help4u · Jul 23, 2008, 03:33 PM

There is a difference between being submissive and lowering yourself respect to accommodate somebody that does not treat you with the appreciation you deserve.

How are you going to feel if you meet him and get a worse gut feeling about don't go through with the sex but he demands it anyway?
How are you going to feel if you do go along with it only to later feel it was a terrible mistake that you did?
Jumping into bed with somebody you never met should never be taken lightly especially when it sounds this shaky.