[scorpio24x]

Hey guys , we both are 24 years old. I met her 4 years ago over the internet and we fell in love. She loved me a lot, she was there for me She did everything right and I did everything wrong during the first 3 years. I made her cry a lot ( I was jealous, I talked to other girls and I used to yell at her) She always wanted to marry me but I never paid attention to that. She used to call me a lot. I know I broke her heart but she never left me. At the 4th year , she changed, she wouldn't call me , she didn't cry anymore after a fight. I guess I realized I was losing her so I started to miss that and I fell in love with her like crazy, but she wasn't the same anymore. So at this point I started to change a lot, I even gave her all my account passwords ( AOL, msn, Yahoo, myspace and hi5 ) so she can checked them whenever she wants because I didn't have anything to hide anymore. I really changed and showed her my good side and the way I want to be. This change started like 4 months ago. The only thing I don't like is that she always blame me for the past because she says she did everything for me and I didn't appreciate it. So I guess she never forgave me but she says she know she still loves me. She says sometimes she wants to hate me but she cant. So we were working things out. I told her I wasn't happy because she stopped doing those things like calling me a lot and I really missed that so I decide to take a break and I told her to come to me when she finds out that she really loves me. So after 2 days of no communications she came to me and told me that she was sure about our love and that we should even marry. So I was happy because that's what I wanted so I proposed to her and she accepted. At the beginning she was very excited but then it was like she stopped caring about the marriage. We were supposted to marry on November. She never told me anything bad but I knew things were not right. So a week ago I asked her to be honest with me and she told me that she knew that she still loves me but she wasn't happy . She didn't feel happy about the whole thing so it hurt me a lot but I decided to break up and take different paths , she accepted it but then she told me that we should give us some time so I was like OK. So I accepted but I sent her messages during the week and I even called her but she never answered. She replied my messages but was very short. Everything happened on Sunday night but we talked on the phone Tuesday night and I asked to be honest and give me the real reason. So she told me that there are some reason not only one, 1 Because of the way I treated her in the past, 2 she had problem with my sis so she didn't feel well around my family, 3 she graduated and got a job and I don't have a job yet but I do something on the side (install cable in my dads store) and then I asked her if there was someone else and she told me that there was a friend who always loved her and was waitting for her. So she was confused because I had to many chances and I did so wrong and he was always waitting for her so she told me that she thinks that he would deserve a chance . It hurt me but I told her to do as she wish and I just wanted her to be happy but she said she is not with him , its just a tough and that for now she just want to focus on her job. The first 4 days I tried to get in contact with her but then I stopped because it looked like if I was getting annoying so it was very hard for me but I stopped calling and sending texts.

We didn't have any contact from Friday till Monday when she sent me a message saying that she called me a few time and I never answer and she wish that I'm OK and take care, so I didn't reply soon and after 5 min I got a private call and this person was listening to me but I hanged up. I have the feeling that it was her , I guess she called because I didn't answer the message so maybe she wanted to see if I was with my phone. So I reply the text after 2 hours and I typed . " Im good, i hope u r good 2 Take care" and that's it so she sent me another message after 20 min saying " Fine enjoy ur life!" I don't get this part because I was polite with my message. Right now I'm trying to do my thing but its so hard , I think about her everyday , she haven't call or text since that last message which I never replied. I want to know how long should I wait for her I'm trying to be strong but I really wish she comes back soon.

[scorpio24x]

In addition to that I want to say that I showed her that I really changed as I said before but she said that it was hard for her to believe me, that maybe I was going to be the same as before after having her again. I want to show her that I really change but I don't know how.
Maybe one of my mistakes was the I was always for her, and couldn't say no ever. I even stopped doing other things so I could be with her, during the last 3 moths we saw each other almost everyday but when she got her job it got worse because she said she wanted to focus on that so what can I do. My only hope is when she said she knew she still love me

[Rockstar714]

People change, and when the person that someone loves treats them horribly in the past, its hard to imagine a life with that person as a "changed person". She took you treating her bad for 3 YEARS. Would you stick around longer than 6 months with someone who treated you bad?

If I were you I'd get on with my life and if she comes back you guys can work it out if you still want to. Let her figure out what makes her happy. No calls, no texts, no meeting for coffee, just let her figure out what she wants.

[scorpio24x]

People plis help me with this!

[erin7799]

Don't wait. Move on. Sometimes all it takes is for you to show a lack of interest and if she sees you with someone else or knows you're with someone else and not sitting around waiting for her she may realize that she doesn't like seeing someone else on your arm and that it should be her there with you. Or maybe she really did change and her feelings changed. I understand that you say for the last 4 months you've been trying really hard and doing things right. That's a good amount of time but if there had been 4 years of hurt on her part, 4 months isn't enough. She can still love you but know in her heart that she never truly will be able to move on from the past and not want to be with you. And you don't want to be with someone who can't trust you. If she is going to continue to bring up the past and throw it in your face then that doesn't allow either of you to move on. Do you want to be with someone who can't/won't trust you? Do you want to be with someone who will live in the past? I'm not blaming her for not wanting to move forward. What's done is done and you can't change the hurt no matter what you do now. It sounds like for her it's too late. But just do your own thing and if she loves you enough she'll come back. And that is if you'll want her.

[scorpio24x]

Erin , I started to move on, but its really hard, I have her in my mind 24/7. Im doing my best to be busy but sometimes I just can't. I don't want to cry no more because it really sucks and hurts. I just don't understand this situation. I was respecting the nc rule but she sent me a message on Monday saying " I called u a few times but u didnt answer, hope u r ok take care" , I didn't want to reply that soon but 5 minutes later I got a private called and that person was listening to me then hanged up. I repied 2 hours later " Im good, hope u r good too take care" , I don't think that was a bad answer from me but then she replied " Oook Fine enjoy ur life" I don't know why she put that (enjoy your life) What is that supposted to mean or how should I take it?? Is it bad or good?

[erin7799]

Why don't you try to call her and ask her what's going on with her and the relationship? If she doesn't answer leave her a message and tell her it's the last message you're going to leave for her to call you back. And if she calls you back then you 2 need to talk and you need to tell her to stop the games. She obviously has trust issues with you and she was calling to check up on you. I assume that she was assuming that because you didn't respond to her text right away, that you were with someone else. Games are not fun and it's certainly not fair. I know what "enjoy your life" means. It means "Goodbye". Whether she meant it, that's a different story. If she is the one who ended it then she needs to leave you alone and let you move on. And YOU need to let you move on.

[scorpio24x]

That's the problem , she never said anything, she was trying to get along but I couldn't handle it anymore so I was the one who told her to break up for good but then she told me that we need time , not a break up ! Butt I don't know how long is it going to take, I'm just trying to move on instead of waitting for her. I wish she comes back to me, I know she still loves me Because we have a long story together with bad memories but I'm sure there are the best memories of our lifes too

[talaniman]

WARNING!!!!! VERY HARSH POST!!!!

she told me that there was a friend who always loved her and was waitting for her. So she was confused because I had to many chances and I did so wrong and he was always waitting for her so she told me that she thinks that he would deserve a chance

Any female who told me that, I'm out of here!! Save your dignity, and self respect, a big whupping by leaving her alone forever, and never contact her nor let her contact you. You are not a backup plan for her so disappear from her life.

Whether it works out with them or not, trust me you'll look like an idiot unless you man up, get over her, and move on!!

[scorpio24x]

Yeah Tal but I'm sure she doesn't feel anything for that guy, she is just confused because I know my story and I did so wrong. Then why didn't she leave me before if he was always there, why didn't she leave me when I was bad and she needs time now that I changed for good. I think that guy is taking advantage of the situation.

[talaniman]

Sorry guy, not buying your logic, as it doesn't make sense to let yourself be treated in this manner. For sure this has been on her mind for a while, and your just finding out. So if she is with him, you lose, and if it doesn't work between them, you still lose, as now you're her fall back guy and that's only if she wants you.

The only way you win, is to put as much importance on yourself, as you have her and regroup your life without her in it.

For whatever reason this thing didn't work, and you need to stand up for yourself. Doesn't matter how bad a b/f you were. So get off the guilt trip and see some reality, she's gone, and you need to get a life. Sorry for being harsh, but your still in shock it seems.