[incognito4]

Hello All,
I am a 24 yr old female in need of some relationship advice(or probably just to vent)... I am engaged to a 22 yr old male and we've been together for 3 1/2 years, but I don't think our relationship is working. I looked at the "First Aid Relationship Guide" and sadly many of my answers were "no" and according to it we shouldn't be together. But our problems are we can't or don't know how to communicate effectively, I don't necessarily trust him due to some things in the past (however, not concrete enough to call him a cheater), I can't depend on him and feel like(well I am) taking care of him , and after making my "list" he has only a few characteristics of what I want in a man. I don't know to address these things to him because he has a temper and every time we try to talk it turns into an argument, and I really don't feel like argueing with him. Can any one offer any advice on how to address him? We've mention trying to go see a relationship counselor, but haven't had the chance because they're pretty expensive. But, the real problem is I don't know how or if I should end it with him. I truly love him, but I feel "love" can't save everything if the other elements aren't there. And if I were to end I would feel bad(guilty), because his mother just passed away in April(and he doesn't really have any dependable family) and amongst many other things he really (I mean really) depends on me, so that kind of makes me feel obligated to stay with him. Also, I don't want to throw away all this time we've had together. But, I don't want to go into a marriage already unhappy. I pray about it; however, may someone please offer some non-judgemental advice. And is our relationship fixable? :-( Thanks in advance...

[Romefalls19]

From what I read, it's just a communication problem. That is fixable, if both parties involved want to and can talk without anger or biased opinions. Maybe ask him to have a sit down, explain what you want out of the relationship. It's all about the way you come off, when you talked ot him before he may have thought you were attacking him(just an idea) so ask to have a calm rational talk and go from there