[jaywave]

First! Thanks for reading

My ex and I were together for 10 months. We told each other we loved each other within the first two and moved in together within the first 3. we did have quite a few arguments and she was extremely jealeous of my female friends although she had a load of male friends which I didn't mind.
She went on holiday with her friend to magaluf (it was arranged while we were on a break. She got pysically violent with me).
The day after she got back she wanted to end the relationship because she wanted someone who gave her 100% of their time. I have a 4 yr old son who I see 4 to 5 days a month (she thought the other 25 days weren't enough for her). It was so obvious what had happened on holiday but she denied it. Over the next two weeks I found out she had cheated on me within the first "12 HOURS" of getting off the plane in magaluf. I also found out she is seeing him now although he lives in england and we're in northern ireland. (100% commitement?? )
A week later after me being told to just have no communication with her (I was devastated by the way over all this) she tells me she still has feelings for me but doesn't know what she wants. I said I didn't know either.
Its been two months since she went away on holiday. In that time her new "boyfriend" has visited twice as far as I know and within the last week I found out that they "love each other".
But... we have slept together 3 times in the past two and a half weeks (after being out in the same club or bar) and she text me a few days ago asking me where I was. She was in a club but I was at home... I turned her down. Remember this is 4 days after saying that she and her new boyfriend are in love.

I know the answer but I need to be told by non family/friends.

Really!! Why am I wasting my time worrying about her?? Because I still love and don't want to!!

Thanks

[Spikeman]

Run and run as fast as you can. This girl is nothing but trouble, she's asking to be the center of attention when she know's she cannot( family's more important!) and on top of that she cheated on you. She is trying to play you and just run and go NC.

This girl is nothing but trouble and will only continue to cause problems if you chase her. It's going to hurt trust me but a couple of months down the road you'll see you made the right choice.

Just run and NC!

[jmcontinuum]

You're wasting your time because you still love her and it's hard to let go if you think there's a remote possibility it could work out. But the thing is, this girl is all sorts of crazy you don't want or need. First thing's first - If she did it once and is showing no remorse, she will probably do it again and again. Both to you and her new "love". Not to mention the fact that your 4 year old should be more important to you than any woman and they should understand that.

You need to get out of there and fast. STOP sleeping with her, cut her off, find things to do and keep yourself busy. You don't need that.

[N0help4u]

There is no possibility to get her back you are just one of her puppets on the string
See her for what she is really about and get on with your life.

Also get to actually know a girl more than 3 months before getting so involved.
When somebody wants you they are going to have you believing they are somebody they are not and then as soon as they think they have you wrapped around your finger they let their true self come out and by then you are ready for HURT

[chuff]

i know the answer but i need to be told by non family/friends.

really!!! why am i wasting my time worrying about her??? because i still love and dont want to!!!

thanx

Oh the Chuff specialty. Dude, you sound like me and some of the nonsense I've allowed to happen to me in the past. The first thing you need to recognize has nothing to do with her, it has to do with you. YOU are ALLOWING this. You can end this nonsense at any time by quit talking to her. She knows that, she also knows you can take control of this situation but since YOU have given her emotional control, she's going to play you with it. Women in general understand, use, and manipulate emotions better then men do. To her this is a game to get the most out of men that she can, even if it means being the biggest whore in the UK. (oh come on, I wasn't the only thinking it). These games keep her occupied so she's not bored while she searches for a man that will not put up with this. If one did, he'd be gone, because once she's shown she will cheat and you will allow it, she's going to take everything she can from you and keep it up. To a woman (and to a man for that matter) respect is a large part of love. If she can disrepect you and you allow it, she's never going to commit to you because she see's you less then a man.

I don't doubt you love her, and I'd bet money your strategy is "If I just hold on, she'll see what she has and not let go." I've been there but it's not going to be a reality. When men try to think on that emotional level we get completely turned around to what it means to a woman and we start screwing ourselve over... to there favor. Your already there and the only way out to to rid yourself of her. Look, losing someone sucks, I know that, I'm even coming off that myself, but sticking around and being her emotional tampon while she sleeps with the last guy that bought her a drink... well that sucks worse then dealing with the pain of the loss.

One last thing, and whore that tells you she's more important then you kid, doesn't deserve another minute of your time, no matter how many guys she's sleeping with.

[jaywave]

Thanks for all your answers.
Everything that's been said I've been told by friends and family but its refreshing to hear it from others. The thing is I know deep inside I don't want her back and that's what I'm fighting. She is no good for me but it's the typical "remembering the good times" problem. When we were at home together everything was amazing but I guess that is part of how this girl works.

I have been good with the no contact but its always her who will make the call or text. But what disgusts me is that the last time she got in contact it was only a few days after her "fella" went back to england... but like I said, I turned her down. That's one good step! Right?

As all my mates (male and female) say "shes a dirty tramp/slut etc etc..." but although she's beautiful, that isn't enough. This guy asked her to move over to england with him... after 3 weeks of knowing her!! She says she isn't but my god she must have him wrapped around EVERY fingure. He's not a good looking fella and it makes me see clearer what manipulative game she's playing.

Plus she isn't even a spec when it comes to my son.

It's the betrayal of it all that hurts so much!

Thanks people

Great forum!

[talaniman]

Glad you at least see that. Kudos for keeping your dignity and self respect!