[Marshmallow]

Hi, I have been dating my girlfriend for 8 months. I met her through my sister with whom she works for, it was chemistry immediately but we never acted on it for the longest time. In fact it was her who finally kissed me and told me she had wanted to do that for the longest time. Ever since that fateful night we have been dating. We plan on spending forever together, and she is the one who first said the love word, not that I didn't feel it or want to say it but I didn't. I love her more than I have ever loved another, we plan on getting married but here is her situation. She is still married to her husband of 15 years, they have 3 children, one who is 20, 12 and a foster child who is 6. Her husband lives in the lower level of their house and is dating someone as well. They have remained together so they could look after the children together and keep there foster child. This is all fine for the most part. She has told her husband that this arrangement isn't going to last forever because of the feeling we have for each other. So at this point it seemed to me she was just waiting on the fostering issues so she can move out and we can get on with our lives. I am very involved with her fosterchild, the other 2 children live in this fantasy that their parents can remain this way forever and they chose not to make an effort to spend time with me or there father's girlfriend. Anyway my girlfriend and her husband attend some social functions together if the children are involved and they do this as a couple per say. Well last night my girlfriend said her husband want to take her and the kids away for the weekend as the "family" vacation. I am really having issues with this and my girlfriend doesn't seem to understand why I would. She has never given me reason to not trust her, I have spoke with her husband and he knows that her and I are very much in love, but Im thinking what the friken frack! Am I a complete fool if I let her go away with him and their kids for a weekend? I don't want to make her think I am this jealous, insecure person and have her pull away from me, but I also think its now respectful of her to go away with him for a weekend even if the kids are with them. I need some advice please, thanks.

[talaniman]

After only 8 months, despite what you feel, don't try to change the way they do things, because you have no rights, or even a commitment to back you up, or even justify your misgivings.

If you don't like the situation you find yourself in, then change it by leaving, or accept what they have built over 15 years.

This is entirely your problem, not hers, so be careful as you will push her away, by being jealous, and insecure. It is unrealistic for you to think that she would put you above her family, at this time.

[BMI]

Can't say it better than that. I agree T-man. Got to spread rep though.