[Caring Guy]

Anyone,
About 18 months ago my wife had a hysterectomy, and the operation went well, and the surgeon decided to leave her ovaries in, so she still has the hormones.
However, for many months now, we have been having considerable problems in the area of sex. I like sex very much, but unfortunately my dear wife is having extreme difficulty in experiencing any feeling during sex. She does not enjoy giving or receiving Oral sex at all as she does not get anything from it, and even feeling her breasts does not do the trick.
She feels nothing in her vagina, and clitoral stimution just seems to achieve nothing at all.
We have tried several positions, lingerie, vibrators to try and give her some feeling during foreplay or penetration, but all to no avail.
In the past, she has not had this problem, and "fingering" has done the trick on several occasions, but not anymore.
We are both in our 40's, we both love each other very much, but we are both feeling very frustrated, as we would like to enjoy sex much more.
Please could any one have any suggestions for us, as I am running out of suggestions.

[orgless]

I don't have any suggestions but offer my sympathy as I'm in the same position as your wife although mine has been life long, so I have nothing to compare it with really, i.e. I shouldn't complain really should I as I don't know what it is I'm missing out on? If you do find something that works please let me know as so far nothing has made any difference for me/us

[Choux]

I think that she has *suffered a psychological blow* to her femaleness after the hysterectomy; some women do. It was a transition from young and fertile(symbolically) to middle age and all that conjures up in her mind. In fact, she has all the female equipment she needs for an orgasmic sex life(she was orgasmic prior to the operation, wasn't she?)... clitoris, vulva, vagina, ovaries... she just lacks passion and desire... and perhaps, depression has set in over the symbolic loss of her youth.

She definitely needs to talk about this with a therapist, in my opinion, before this mind set gets too ingrained. You have to be careful how you present this to her; don't sound like you just want her to talk about it for your pleasure. It is for her quality of life going forward. :)

Best wishes,

[J_9]

Did she have a vaginal hysterectomy or a surgical? If it was vaginal there is a possibility that there was some nerve damage during the procedure.

[Synnen]

Has she spoken to her doctor about this?

Even if they DID leave in her ovaries, there can still be hormonal imbalances at play here, and it may be correctable with medication.

[2B4Ever]

Well I am 42 and I have had a hysterectomy surgically and for me I have felt fine. My heart goes out to you.
Perhaps she is taking a medication like a anti-depressant or anxiety medication. To be honest I am taking Effexor ER for anxiety and I have noticed that the feelings for me down below are not as enticing as they use to be... but I still can have pleasure if my partner is patient with me and touches the right spot.
Good luck with you both