[fizzy]

Hi,I'm new here. Here's the story. I got perfect family,physically. Emotionally I suffered for like 21 years already. My mother is nice although she's not the type of mother who listens and supports the children morally. My dad is... I just hate him and sometimes I wish him dead. I knew it's sinful to say that for all that he had done for me-donate the sperms,fed me etc but he can't stop verbally abusing me. He's an ex-army who basically always yell at people,criticising every bloody things on planet earth and a person who won't change. I realised that men never change,they are craps. Because of his presence,I have hated-men,myself,life,god,fate etc... I knew I'll never get family happiness like other normal people etc but it's not my fault to be born as his daughter! In da moment,I'm staying in campus,ignoring him as much as possible but I still feel tortured. Why it's always me? I mean I'm not rich,pretty,popular,lucky and I'm fine with that. The thing is I can't even smile often and even if I do,I'll fake it.there's no use of talking to him because he's low educated and never change. If my mother who happens to be pious-pray for his wellness for like 20 years still suffer of his personality,it's impossible for me to do the magic. Damn! Why me?

[N0help4u]

You have to learn and accept that you are now grown and can push beyond the limitations you had as a child. As a child you had to put up with it, you had to cope the best you could.
Now you are grown and physically free of him. Now you have to use your time finding a way to mentally free yourself. Start by acknowledging that he no longer has control over you. Realize you can push your limits and his expectations to where ever you want. He wanted you to excel. You can excel beyond what he expected of you. You feel hate for guys find a decent guy. One day you can go back home and prove your dad that you CAN do better than he expected you could.

[Choux]

Get your education; no one can take that away from you.

It would be a good idea to develop some skills... a sport, a hobby, and get a lot of exercise every day by cycling. You will feel better.

Lots of people have had crazy parents... that is just a given in some people's lives. Nothing can change that, so a person has to make the best of what he or she has.

Start building yourself up one day at a time. :)

[N0help4u]

Exactly what Choux said whatever you gain here on out is your accomplishments that you can be proud of. Recreate you from the person you feel your dad made you. If you have negativity from the past holding you back you can not build your future and then you have self defeat and your life will reflect it. Turn negatives into positives

[fizzy]

Thank you so much for the inspiring and encouraging answers. But I always blame life,fate,myself and god for giving me this kind of family. Why can evryone else like my friends have such a happy family? Why my friends can always get support from their own blood but not me? Why it's always me?

[Choux]

Children in "perfect" families have problems, too. After you live awhile, you learn you wouldn't have traded places and had a controlling or manipulating mother, for example and lots of other harmful influences it takes to make a family appear "perfect". :)