[MC12545]

Ok.. Two weeks ago I posted the latest news about my ex titled: "LADIES POINT OF VIEW" in the relationship forum.Ever since that posting nothing has changed. My ex girlfriend keeps texting me and leaves me voice mails to see how I'm doing. I really miss her but I don't know what to do? I mean its OK for her to call once in a while since our months break up, but she calls and texts me like every other day. She clearly told me that she doesn't feel the same and that she can't be in a relationship right now because she's scared I'm going to hurt her again which unfortunately I have before and I regret it. There are times that she calls, and when I pick up the line is connected and I hear her talking like if she accidentally dialed my number. I pay no mind and I hang up. I figured its probably an accident and her phone dialed my number by mistake. So far its being happening a lot more. So now I don't pick up and I just let it be a missed call. IS SHE DOING THIS INTENTIONALLY?Last Thursday before the weekend of JULY 4th she called me to see how I'm doing and we discussed how things where, nothing big she ended the conversation that we should have lunch some time and I shouldn't be a stranger. On Friday she texted me Happy July 4th. Saturday I went out with my friends and I was feeling good and I had fun. On Sunday I really don't know what went into me. I missed her incredibably and I was tempted so many times to call her. But I was strong and I didn't call her. I meet up with my friends at a local bar just to get my mind off her. At 1am she texted me. Hey I hope you are doing good. I'm texting you to see how your doing I want you to know that if you need someone to talk to I'm still here for you. I was really shocked she texted me that. It was like if she knew I was thinking and missing her. That definitely confused me. Finally I took a chance and I called her on Monday night to see how she was doing and she was telling me all about her weekend. It was more a catch up weekend conversation like friends do I guess. Yesterday she called me because I got a missed call and I'm assuming it's the accidential dial her phone does. So I didn't call back. I just want to know what's going on. Does she still have feelings for me or is it just pity stuff girls normally go through? please help...

[Alty]

Do you really care why she's texting? Yes you miss her, but stick to NC, that's the best way to go.

[MC12545]

I kind of care cause I still have feelings for her but I just would like to know why she still wants to contact me after she told me that she doesn't want to be with me. Is she trying to make me miserable on purpose?

[Alty]

She's female, and seeing as I am one myself, I'll try my best to give you a girls point of view, not all girls, but some.

She feels guilty, wants to believe that you can just be friends, regrets that it ended, doesn't want you to hate her.

What she doesn't realize is that you need NC right now, she can't accept it. When you don't answer her calls it just reafirms (in her mind) that you hate her. She'll keep trying, but sooner or later, she will give up.

Stick to NC, don't back down, this too shall pass. :)

[Rockstar714]

So SHE was the one that said that SHE doesn't want to be with you, but SHE's doing all the calling and texting.

She's sending you mixed messages, and you just need to not talk to her. She'll eventually get it and you can move on.

[ylaira]

U said EX GF? Then u shouldn't be speaking to her. She goes through withdrawal phase having a hard time like you. Are u determined its over? Change numbers!

[Chery]

Strange as it seems, we girls are hard to figure out sometimes.

She could just want to let you know that she likes you as a friend and wants to continue the friendship - without getting physical again because that part did not work out for her. Just because we don't want to go to bed with a guy we've know for a while does not mean we no longer care for them as human beings and want to let them know that friendship would mean a lot.

You cannot control how she feels about this, but you can control whether you are willing to accept what she is offering and are willing and able to cope with this situation.

Some men have intellectual qualities that we don't want to do without, and it's easy to have good clean fun with. Some men have physical qualities that satisfy that part of our life - but it does not mean we are satisfied with their IQ... It sounds confusing, and it is - sometimes we don't even know what we want and it takes a lot of time to finally mature and get to know exactly what our goals in life are.

It's all about being human and learning things about ourselves and others. At least she is being honest with you and sincerely wants to maintain contact on a friendship basis. That's better than dumping you and keeping you wondering - at least you know where you stand with her. Not many guys are that lucky.

Again, it's your choice, and if you need time to decide if you are able to accept just friendship she should respect that and give you the time you need to accept and adjust.

At any rate, guy or girl, we all will be rejected more than once in our lives and will survive it, I promise. I know that it's no fun to have your ego hurt, but eventually, it will get stronger and we learn how to handle these downfalls as they help us develop and mature as we go on in life.

Good luck dear, and stay with us. We will help you in any way we can.

P.S. Next time, all you have to do to continue on the same thread is click the 'answer the question' (upper left hand corner)where you posted before to update us or ask us for more advice. No need to start a new thread on the same subject. That way, we can keep up without having to switch back and forth. It takes a while for most new people to get the hang of it.

Talk to you soon.

[talaniman]

She is trying so hard to keep you in her life, as a friend though. :mad: Hurry, and get over her, and tell her to set you up with a nice friend, :rolleyes: she will be more than happy to oblige.:D
Naw, on second thought she will never leave you alone, :confused: and you will get all kinds of free relationship advice. :( Best forget that option, and go with No Contact, and get your own female.:cool: