[magioi]

I have been with my current girlfriend for almost 2 years now and am head over heals for this girl. A few weeks ago she told me that she planned on hanging out with her ex and another friend at her house. I was completely fine with it because I'm usually not the kind of guy that would get jealous over anything. That night she called me while drunk to tell me how much she loved me and that she got into a big fight with her ex and he left. About a week later I got a strange call from her asking me what I considered cheating. I told her that I thought emotional cheating (being in love with or having an emotional attachment to someone outside the relationship) was just as bad as physical cheating. I asked her why she asked and she said she was at work and the girls there were talking about it. The last few weeks she has seemed a bit distant from me. Our conversations on the phone and even in person have been short and a bit awkward. A few days ago she told me that she never got over her ex and that she will always love him. Then last night I got a text message from her saying that she loved me but she messed us up. When I asked her what she meant she said she has fallen out of place with me. Still unclear I asked again what she was saying and she said I tried telling u, I never got over my first (first love and the guy she lost her virginity to). I tried to call but she didn't answer and said she was too choked up to talk. She then texted back saying that she has ruined us. The last message is what really got to me. It said, "Im in love with somebody else and its always been like that. Even before u. And its worse than before bc i can't make it go away." The next message said, "I dont want to hurt u but i really want to be honest." Then she said, "But i still love u." When I talked to her today on the phone she said that the night her ex and another friend came over she flirted with the ex before they got into the argument and he left. I know her ex fairly well since he was an old friend of mine. Broke up because he cheated on her more than once. She keeps texting me telling me how much she loves me but now I'm not so sure we should be together. They My question is, what do I do in this situation? Do I stay with her even though she still loves this guy? Or do I find somoene new? I know she hasn't done anything with him since we have been together, but I know that a part of her will always be with him.

[Chery]

Mixed emotions, no matter what the motives or maturity of the individual is a problem only they can work on.

If you can emotionally ride this roller-coaster with her without loss of self-respect and later can forgive and forget if she does happen to come to you after figuring out what she wants, then consider yourself stronger than a lot of other men.

Have an honest talk with yourself and think of what you would advise someone else in your current position and level of maturity. Ask how much you are willing to put up with and the time you are willing to invest without knowing the outcome.

I can see this is a stressful time in your life and stress is not healthy for anyone. So, I would plan on living a live without her and looking for new friends and activities to keep busy.

Rejection of any sort is painful, but we can accept it and cope with it in time. You know that we will be here for you no matter what your decision, so stay with us and keep us posted.


Some people just need longer to grow up than others.

[hjpan]

Walk it out and leave her.

Sounds like she's immature and confused as opposed to who she wants to be with.

There's is no "love." She asked for your limitations, you directed your boundaries, and she pushes it to the limit.

What else is there to say?