[jgilbert66]

I am having a lot of trouble with telling people the truth. Mostly because I don't want to hurt anyone. Including myself. How do I change how I talk to people

[N0help4u]

Before you open your mouth STOP and think about what you are about to say.
THEN think through different scenerio's of how it could come back to bite you, how it could cause problems to others, ways that it could make you look stupid if and when the truth comes out. Think what do I really have to benefit from lying? Am I really impressing anybody? What motivates me to lie? --Insecurities? Trying to get people to like me?
Get to the root of the problem by soul searching WHY

Then realize that many people are very likely onto you and see right through you about your lying but don't say anything and just chalk it up to 'Well that's just typical Jack with another one of his stories for you!'

[Fr_Chuck]

It is a matter of self control, if you can't think of something to say that is not a lie, don't say anything.

If you truly can't control yourself, you will have to seek professional help

[beckyt]

i am having a lot of trouble with telling people the truth. mostly because i dont want to hurt anyone. including myself. how do i change how i talk to people

Sometimes its easy to say what you want other people to hear for various reasons, the main one being so they will think how nice you are. However you may find that people don't actually believe what you say sometimes and actually can find you very false. One thing that I have learned though is people prefer someone who has flaws as well. Its hard to believe isn't it, but its about doing what feels right in your heart at the ne dof the day, its very cliché but if you do things that you think are good.. the chances are so will others.

[allofme]

I was a pathological liar for the majority of my life, and now I don't lie at all. It is a brutal switch over. I have to admit there are lies that I have told that I still cannot own up to. But here is what I did. It is like learning a new logic. I know that for many people who are not liars may not understand this, but it is very hard to stop this pattern. I wish stoping to think first was an option but for me I just couldn't help myself. I also learned that I was often lying because the truth was connected to wsome topic that I found embarrassing or I was ashamed of. I had to learn that I was put here on this earth to live a life that offered me all the same opportunities as everyone else. I had to learn that I had no reason to be ashamed and what I had to say was okay. I am a good person and everyone is different and everyone has embarrassing things about themselves that they can keep to themseleves. I had a problem keeping things to myslef so I guess of saying nothing I felt I had to say somethimng and lies always seemed easier to say outloud.
I also recently found out that I have adult ADHD, this is accompanied by impusle control, which means that sometime you do or say things that afterward you tend to beat yourself up for, it is terrible for the self confidence and I think that often times this is what led to my lies, but that is my theory. Having confidence that the truth is okay, and you can stumble and fall in this life and it is okay, to crawl before you walk when it comes to telling the truth. Try it out, and you might be surprised at how good it feels to just tell the truth. I have to admit, I have led a rather transient life, and I haven't owned up to a lot of my past lies, but most of that is so far in the past and luckily a lot of those people who I lied to are also in my past, so I have decided that it is okay to leave the past in the past. So pick, but only you can decide that you are worth knowing the truth about, people may surprise you. Everyone has crap in their closet. DO not go forward apologizing, just go forward.
Hope this helps.

[AandZ4ever]

I always speak my mind which could still hurt people but you need to learn that maybe letting everybody know the honest truth would be better for them. For example if a friend asked you do I look fat in this dress? And you said no. and she really did then you are just hurting your friend by lying and making her wear a dress that isn't flattering. You know? Just start slowly telling the truth with little things then gradually ease up to more truth in your life because you will be a bettr person because of it.

[Livneedsdan]

I'm in the same boat and unfortunately I'm hurting the one person I love the most have you stopped lying please help me

[Livneedsdan]

Your story just Made me cry... This is who I am I am a awful liar... I need to stop I really do. I always wind up hurting my boyfriend who one day I want to marry and he's so amazing he has put up with it for so long and has given me so many chances... I love him

I was a pathological liar for the majority of my life, and now I don't lie at all. It is a brutal switch over. I have to admit there are lies that I have told that I still cannot own up to. But here is what I did. It is like learning a new logic. I know that for many people who are not liars may not understand this, but it is very hard to stop this pattern. I wish stoping to think first was an option but for me I just couldn't help my self. I also learned that I was often lying because the truth was connected to wsome topic that I found embarrassing or I was ashamed of. I had to learn that I was put here on this earth to live a life that offered me all the same opportunities as everyone else. I had to learn that I had no reason to be ashamed and what I had to say was okay. I am a good person and everyone is different and everyone has embarassing things about themselves that they can keep to themseleves. I had a problem keeping things to myslef so I guess of saying nothing I felt I had to say somethimng and lies always seemed easier to say outloud.
I also recently found out that I have adult ADHD, this is accompanied by impusle control, which means that sometime you do or say things that afterward you tend to beat yourself up for, it is terrible for the self confidence and I think that often times this is what led to my lies, but that is my theory. Having confidence that the truth is okay, and you can stumble and fall in this life and it is okay, to crawl before you walk when it comes to telling the truth. Try it out, and you might be surprised at how good it feels to just tell the truth. I have to admit, I have led a rather transient life, and I haven't owned up to a lot of my past lies, but most of that is so far in the past and luckily a lot of those people who I lied to are also in my past, so I have decided that it is okay to leave the past in the past. So pick and choose, but only you can decide that you are worth knowing the truth about, people may surprise you. Everyone has crap in their closet. DO not go forward apologizing, just go forward.
Hope this helps.