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    Pilottt's Avatar
    Pilottt Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 28, 2008, 05:45 PM
    How is this supposed to be happening?
    My boyfriend and I decided to venture into the intimate world the other day and he fingered me. I have a question about this because this is the first time I've decided to let someone do this, and there wasn't necessarily a "pain" in which it was unbearable, but the experience wasn't that pleasureable and was rather uncomfortable. I have seen other questions like this, but I've seen a lot of "definitely yes" and "definitely no's". Granted, I've never stuck anything really in that area (as weird as that sounds) because I haven't fiddled with tampons or anything, so I was thinking it was because it's really my first time something like that has happened. But, since I'm not an experienced person, I thought I should ask to see if it's something maybe he was doing, or if maybe I should see a professional for further consultance.
    lotsoflove's Avatar
    lotsoflove Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #2

    Jun 28, 2008, 05:59 PM
    I am not sure how far into details you want to go with this situation, but the first thing that I thought about was just plain inexperience. If he has long nails and don't know what he is doing, he could be doing it too hard which is making it uncomfortable for you.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,301, Reputation: 7692
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    #3

    Jun 28, 2008, 06:18 PM
    Also not knowing your ages? A little slow insaying too much, but you should learn about yourself perhaps by yourself, learn what you like and what you don't, so latter when it is time you can help tell someone what you like.
    Choux's Avatar
    Choux Posts: 3,047, Reputation: 376
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    #4

    Jun 28, 2008, 07:25 PM
    Don't let your boyfriend do that to you, it is unpleasant for you!

    My experience from the past is that they do that because they think they will turn a *young girl* on, when in truth, lots of foreplay *not* directed to the genital area is what a young girl really likes... not having her genitals groped.

    Females generally reach their sexual prime between about 35 to 40 something. As a young girl, you don't want to feel you have to convince yourself that you like sexual stuff that you really hate... fight against social pressure. Female sexuality is a growing process; you can't expect too much of yourself when it just isn't there to be had.

    Good Luck!
    MOWERMAN2468's Avatar
    MOWERMAN2468 Posts: 3,214, Reputation: 243
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    #5

    Jun 29, 2008, 08:13 AM
    Could be your age and inexperience.
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #6

    Jun 29, 2008, 11:33 AM
    It could be that YOU don't know what you like.

    How can HE be doing something pleasurable to you "down there" when you don't KNOW what's pleasurable?

    Learn to touch yourself, then SHOW him what you like.

    I have a feeling that the main problem here is that you really aren't THAT turned on in general, and that this isn't adding to your arousal because there isn't enough arousal to begin with.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,490, Reputation: 2853
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    #7

    Jun 30, 2008, 12:00 PM
    Couple thing I see here based on my life experience. And they all point to him.

    #1 Maybe he just doesn't have a clue. He's not sanding rust off a car here you know. There is a lot of finesse to this.

    #2 There is the rough or long fingernail thing mentioned.

    #3 Maybe his hands weren't really clean. Salt, crud and stuff on your hands can do that to sensitive tissue.

    #4 Dry or rough hands will do it too as in he works with his hands rather than push papers all day long.

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