[starbuck8]

Tal is correct in saying that there are other issues here. This goes much further beyond adultery. She has other issues that need to be dealt with, as do most cheaters. Without getting the help as suggested above, you are destined for a really rocky road, and eventually a nasty divorce.

Don't fool yourself. This was a calculated act on her part, and she will do it again, given the chance, if you and she don't agree to get help for both of you. Not only together, but separate also. If you don't get that help, brace yourself, because you are in for a bumpy ride, and you won't be happy with the crash!

[TrueFaith]

How hard is it to talk to your husband?

Listen it takes 2 people to have sex. You need to talk to one another and you need to tell him what you like. If you don't how can he know I bet the other guy will probable do the same thing.

And can I just say bravo for hanging out with another man you know your attracted to, while you have a husband at home, that's real classy


As for insulting messages. Well if you feel its insulting then I am sorry. But we read from hard facts or from how you tell it, and from what we read or at least I read. It does not put you in a very good light. The part where you say Ohh I don't know how much longer I can hold out. Like it's a pain to be with your husband,

Talk to your husband lose the other guy. You need to work on yourself. Because if you keep jumping or having the idea to go from one person to another. To get the pefect. Feelings. You will be alone always.

Next time think before you do things K thanks

[starbuck8]

How hard is it to talk to your husband??

Listen it takes 2 people to have sex. you need to talk to one another and you need to tell him what you like. if you dont how can he know i bet the other guy will probable do the same thing.

and can i just say bravo for hanging out with another man you know your attracted to, while you have a husband at home, thats real classy


as for insulting messages. well if you feel its insulting then i am sorry. but we read from hard facts or from how you tell it, and from what we read or at least i read. it does not put you in a very good light. the part where you say Ohh i dont know how much longer i can hold out. like its a pain to be with your husband,

Talk to your husband lose the other guy. you need to work on your self. because if you keep jumping or having the idea to go from one person to another. to get the pefect. feelings. you will be alone always.

Next time think before you do things K thanks

You need to read the other posts please before you respond for one thing. I'm not saying your advice was bad, but we are no longer talking with the original poster! We are now talking with her husband! That is why it is important to read through posts before replying always!

[Shadowburn]

This woman should get what's coming to her.
She has a kind and loving husband at home who cares for her, and she jumps at someone else just because she can.

[WhatN3XT]

I feel for you pal, You are stuck in a really weird place right now. I mean lets weigh out the pro's and con's of this whole thing. Feel free to add to this list, because I am just using the information provided.

Pro's: You can work your off to trust again, and hopefully get your marriage back on track. You can settle with her constantly wondering if she is up to something (Wait that's a con.)

Con's: You are married to a woman that violated your wedding vows on many different levels. You are married to a woman that let another man touch her in inappropriate ways. You are married to a woman that lied about the whole affair.

Only you can decide weather or not it is salvageable. I mean is she remorseful for her actions? Does she seem to be willing to fix what she has done? Are you that patient to give her a chance? There are a lot more questions than answers for you at this time. I just hope you can sort it all out and do what is best for you. Good luck and keep us up to date on your progress.

[Alty]

At this point I would like to recommend that the husband of the OP get his own account here on AMHD with his own username. It's very confusing to read a thread that started with the wife and then switched to the husband, both using the same account.

Mods, is there something that we can do about this, I know that two people using one account is frowned upon on AMHD.

[Dragonfly1234]

I've skipped a lot of responses on here so I hope I'm not repeating a lot of advice. And although I know I'm going to be disagreeing with a lot of people of here, I'm still going to tell you my thoughts. First of all, don't believe anyone that tells you that it's not possible to love two people at the same time, everyone has a subjective definition of love and because of this, I do believe you can love your husband and you have feelings for someone else at the same time. But the reality is that you cannot have two relationships at the same time. Well, technically you could but your husband and this other guy would have to be on board, I'm guessing that's not the case.

Secondly, don't pay too much attention to people telling you you're a bad person. People cheat ALL the time. And although it's not ethical to do so, that's not the point I'm going to raise with you. The point I want to raise with you is the fact that most of the time, it doesn't last with the person they cheat with, even if they leave their significant other to be with that person. Do you know why? Well it's because of the reason they felt the need to cheat in the first place. People become attracted to someone outside their relationship because they feel that Mr. grassisgreener (sorry, I really liked whoever named him that) represents a need that isn't being met by their significant other.

At this point, there are two things you can do if you want to resolve the situation. You can either fix whatever need isn't being met so that you don't project this need onto another man or you can act on your attraction towards him, have an affair and then the next time a need isn't being met in your current relationship (whoever it may be with) you will meet someone who will again represent those needs and spend your life going from one disfunctional relationship to another.

My advice, number one, resolve the issues in your current relationship that are causing you to have a wandering eye and I bet you that you won't find this guy as attractive as you do now. Also, don't listen to people telling you that bad sex is not an excuse for your behavior. That's crap. If bad sex is the need you have that isn't being met, then it's legit and you have every right to feel unfulfilled. But it is up to you to fix it. You can start another thread on that if you want and we can try to help with that as well.

Number two, you need to manage your feelings towards this 'work friend'. You need to give yourself a reality check. Start by listing all of his flaws. If you can't think of any, try harder. Train yourself to work through your feelings. Don't turn this into more fantazy then it already is. You need to supplement this fantasy with his less endearing features. You need to focus on his flaws and on reality, remind yourself constantly. And if you could find a way to break all contact with this guy, you would be doing yourself a huge a favor in that it will help you immensely to break free from the addiction you feel towards the seduction game you two are playing. It may seem fun but in the long run, you are only going to make it painful for yourself.

[411Help]

Communication is KEY in ANY relationship.

[chiradeep]

Friend! I can understand your feelings, how you must be feeling when you are not having sexual satisfaction... but that doesnot mean that you will go out side the marriage to satisfy yourself. You have already started cheating your husband in your mind.

I am agreeing with the some of the comments given above... COMMUNICATION is necessary. Be PATIENT when you are communicating.

Read my article "Valentines Day Special - Building Relationship"

Read some other articles in my websites... Please Stay Away from that MAN. If you love your husband get back to him. Teach him do not forsake him just for Sex, which is nothing before TRUE LOVE...

[LANDYELBELLOSO]

Hey: Just stop hangin with that friend stop stop and stop before
Something bad happen OK.