[packer04]

The people I work with were talking about this today. When meeting the one should both the man and the woman have chemistry and some compatibility with each other? Some of my friends say the chemistry will come, but I don't know about that. There are so many qualities that someone should have-chemistry,personality,looks,job,money,compatible,s exual,etc. So what should be important to women and men. People say your'e suppose to get that feeling that this is the one-the soulmate. And I want that feeling, but I don't want to settle but I don't want to be too picky(especially at 48)

[starbuck8]

I'm not too far behind you in age, so I can relate. I really don't believe in the whole soul mate hype really. I believe you definitely need some chemistry between you, and a good understanding of what you are looking for. There is much more beyond the chemistry.

At this age we need to consider the person's past history. Was he/she a cheater? Was he/she trustworthy in prior relationships? How many relationships has he/she had, and why did they end. Was there any verbal/physical abuse etc. You need to figure children into the mix with most men at this age too! If you are looking for a money maker, you best find out how much is given to his/her children, and or an ex wife. A lot of other things could come into play also.

I would not exclude physical, sexual, or mental compatibility, but I wouldn't base a relationship strickly on that. Do you enjoy doing the same things? Not a deal breaker if he likes golf and she likes to stay home and do what she likes to do, unless if it is something that is on your list of things you won't consider.

Although, I would also like to add, that some gorgeous men/women, can turn out to be really ugly looking, because of their personalities and beliefs, and just the same, some men/women can be the most beautiful people on the inside, and get better looking as time goes by.

To me, TRUST AND RESPECT are at the very top of my list, above anything else.

Good Luck!