[JanetC55]

Hi um this is actually for a close friend of mine trying to figure out what to do...

They've been married for 5 years and now have 3 kids, oldest is 5 youngest is only 4 months, mom is 25 dad is 26 now

The dad doesn't have a shred of fatherhood in him, he ignores the kids, when asked to change diapers or feed the babies he just walks away and the mom does it, he doesn't try to find another job, the cost of rent and kids literally leave them with nothing to save, they are currently in severe debt on the verge of bankrupsy, he doesn't feel like he has any responsibilities to his family and has not changed at all over the 5 years and after having 3 kids.

Now it gets worse: they are renting a basement of a house owned by the dad's parents, these grandparents have the nerve to charge over 80% of their paychecks for rent and are giving the mom a really hard time, the grandma is always yelling at her for everylittle thing, the grandpa doesn't even try to get to know the mom... and the dad simply says nothing nor does he act like any of this bothers him.

Also the dad is trying to stop the mom from doing nything for her self, he doesn't want her to go back to school or get a divers licence.

So after all this she wants out but is really stuck on how to do it. No car, no license, no money, no credit. She had tried to leave once before, based on what happen she knows without a doubt that the dad will come after her to the point where he will stalk and try to kidnap her back, and the grandparents on the dad's side will take legal action to get custody of the kids.

She doesn't have much family in the area go to, her father is in a small apartment that is shared with two other siblings... also the dad know's where her father lives and their phone#.
Her friends are either unemployed or with their parents or not in a situation where they can support 3 kids in their household for more than a couple of days.

We can really use some advise on what can we possibly do in this situation... thanks.

[ChihuahuaMomma]

She can go to a shelter. There are tons of places that want to help single mom's out. She can get on state assistance, and find a job and daycare. With which she can get her driver's license and consider going back to school. Have her go to her local welfare office and ask what her options are.

[George_1950]

Your friend is in need of counseling; try to locate free or low cost counseling in the county mental health clinic, or a trained minister or pastor. She probably qualifies for free birth control.

[confused1145]

There is a lot of help out there for mother's in this situation. She can go to the housing authority to get help finding a place to live, go the welfare office for any help that they can provide to her, and go into the local courthouse and file a family protection order against the father. At that point she could ask for temp custody for up to 120 days to give her time to file for full custody. Before filing that she needs to get a license and find a place to live at least temporary.

[N0help4u]

She does need to get away from the situation. He is nothing more than another kid (responsibility). Nothing whatsoever will change as long as she stays. It will only get worse.