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    yellowflash's Avatar
    yellowflash Posts: 3, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jun 17, 2008, 02:36 AM
    I like A Girl But She has A Boy Friend
    I really like this girl my mind is never off her I like her a lot some friends say that she shows interest in me I do the same. We talk a bit always greeting each over with smilies and so on. I've been to her house with some friends once but that's about it. I met her boyfriend once seems like a bit of waster nearly stopped the relationship with her because she was ill once. I mean what kind of guy does that? Any way I haven't made any attempts to tell her how I feel I've been told by a couple of trusted friends to go for it however I talked to her best friend who is also one of my trusted friends and she said If I do I may have to wait for her to break off the relationship. And Im not sure I want to put her through that she been with this guy for 2yrs but ever since I have been talking to her in college she said things like she doesn't like him and so on that she only stays with him because she is scared of being alone. I'm moving into a new class in college soon as I have finished my year in art in design she still has another year or so. Any who should I tell her or should I let it go and move on I feel pretty cut up about it and I waited a long time and never said anything because I don't really want to upset her being friends with her is okay but I like her lot more than she knows I need some advice so post thnx:eek:
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #2

    Jun 17, 2008, 05:23 AM
    As long as she is with the other guy you have to respect that.
    Since you seem to be pretty good friends maybe if you can find a way to say something like
    'when it is my turn to be your bf' even if it is in a kidding around way. Keep it to one sentence and do not say more unless she pursues the topic.
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert
     
    #3

    Jun 17, 2008, 07:01 AM
    In dating, as in life, information can be harmless enough, so you can tell anyone at anytime you are interested in seeing them sometime if they are ever free to do so.

    BUT, action requires more integrity than just information. You will never accept from her nor make an actual date yourself with someone who ISN'T free to date you. You can date multiple people or date one exclusively, but they must ALL be available and not in an exclusive relationship with someone else. OK? Your character is at stake, so keep those lines clear and never cross them.

    So, tell her if you wish of your interest, but that's as far as it goes until it's over with the b/f. And some girls are never healthy enough to leave a b/f even if he's horrible. You'll have to just live with that. You really only want to date healthy girls anwyay, so it's OK.
    ilovetigger's Avatar
    ilovetigger Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #4

    Jan 14, 2009, 01:11 PM
    Go for it the worst thing that can happen is that she says no
    Trust me its better to ask rather than just letting go
    Xx
    Good luck;)
    froggy14's Avatar
    froggy14 Posts: 21, Reputation: 7
    New Member
     
    #5

    Jan 16, 2009, 08:40 AM
    I hate to be a downer, but you should respect the fact that she has a guy and not
    Make the first move.
    Funny thing is: the past 2 relationships I've been in were related to this type of situation!

    The first one, I was the guy in your position. I was in college and met a girl, she had a boyfriend in Thailand, I didn't care and ended up hooking up with her. Long story short; she ended up dumping him and being my girlfriend, for 4 years! Weird, we're still best friends. I felt bad for her ex because I'd never want something like that to happen to me, but I knew that we connected really well, so it didn't bother me that much.

    The second one, I was in the other guy's position. Had a girlfriend for 1.5 years, she moved for 2 years to do Peace Corps, we really tried to keep it together with email, phone, skype, letters a few visits etc... Well, she had met another guy 2 months before she was to come home and start again with me. Now I was the guy left in the dust, after all that work!! I didn't blame him, because I've come to realize there's really nothing you can do about it; it happens.

    My answer is: if she decides to make the first move towards you, go for it! Make your interest known to her, but still respect the fact that she has another guy, because it sucks to be that guy who is still hanging on while his chick is already gettin' attached to some other dude... no, it really sucks! This girl you like needs to get honest with her boyfriend and let him go, it's not fair to keep him strung along like that if she's no into him anymore. Just think about how it would feel if someone did that to you. It sucks.

    Good luck

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