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joeyhd1966 · Jun 12, 2008, 01:13 PM

My ex wife and I got divorced in Oct 07 and we have shared custody of our two girls ages 12 and 10. We both have them 50% of the time. I own our marital home and their schools are less than a mile away. She is getting married to a military officer in Jul 08 and claims he may have to move due to his job being in the military. She has mentioned she will take the girls with her out of Florida where we currently live. Our custody agreement states that we have to live within 15 miles of each other for the children's sake. I don't believe she will be able to do this, but I am a little concerned. What is the likelihood that she will be able to move them out of the state without my concent?

smokedetector · Jun 12, 2008, 01:21 PM

I'm no expert, but both my parents have been divorced more than once, and I'm pretty sure that if it says it in the custody agreement, that's the way it is unless both parties agree. If she does try to move them far away, I'd get a lawyer if you don't already have one and strike a new deal. You don't have any say in her moving, but you do have say over your kids, and you have just as much of a right to be with them as she does. I don't know whether your ex is a mean or nice person when it comes to these kind of things, but don't let her take your kids out of your life just because she is changing hers. Trust me, your kids are worth it. :-D

joeyhd1966 · Jun 13, 2008, 08:45 AM

What is the likelihood that a judge would grant her permission to move even if I'm totally against it... I'm assuming since we currently have shared custody, it would be very difficult. Just worried a judge might think the girls are better off with their mother. You know how fathers are typically treated with these scenarios.

smokedetector · Jun 13, 2008, 10:39 AM

Well I think your girls are old enough that a judge would listen to what they want to do. It also might depend on the judge, but since you have 50/50 custody you definitely don't have the cards stacked against you. I read up on FL law and you definitely have the upper hand. Your argumetn should be same home, school, friends, etc and thenshow the court you're willing to facilitate them going to see their mother... even like offer weekend once a month kind of thing, depending on how far she moves. Here is the site

Florida Divorce Source: State Divorce Laws: Florida

Best of luck

excon · Jun 14, 2008, 07:45 AM

Hello joey:

Most judges believe that a fathers involvement is their children's lives is a preferred situation. Apparently YOUR judge feels that way too.

I'd write a letter to your ex. State that if she attempts to take the children out of state contrary court orders, she will be arrested for kidnapping. If she goes to court to ASK permission, she'll NEVER get it.

excon

froggy7 · Jun 14, 2008, 10:59 AM

Just be aware that this is a double-edged sword. Hope that you never need to move for a new job, or a new relationship, or any other reason.

joeyhd1966 · Jun 17, 2008, 07:15 AM

Originally Posted by froggy7

Just be aware that this is a double-edged sword. Hope that you never need to move for a new job, or a new relationship, or any other reason.

The difference between my ex and myself is that I would never put my happiness at the expense of our children. I would find a job here... its not like Tampa is a small town. I would never leave my kids for another woman and there is no reason to move the kids away from their mother and father. We owe it to our children to raise them together... even if we are not married. Thanks for your response.

excon · Jun 17, 2008, 07:26 AM

Hello again, joey:

Good for you. Certainly, being a parent IS the most important job we have.. I spent all my money fighting for joint custody and never got it... So, I moved into the next block and stayed there for 10 years. That, in effect, gave me joint custody.

Did I like the apartment? No, but I wasn't there for the creature comforts. YOU would understand that.

excon

ScottGem · Jun 17, 2008, 07:28 AM

The basic premise is is that what a court has ordered only a court can change. So, neither of you can make any changes that would inhibit the execution of the court orders regarding custody and visitation without the court's approval.

Your wife was aware of this when she chose to marry someone in the military. So you will have the upper hand. I doubt if she will get a modification of the visitation order without your permission.