[snuffy]

Hi,

I have a question re the surname of my baby-to-be, here in the UK.

My ex girlfriend dumped me last October, suddenly. 12 days later she informed me she was pregnant and keeping it. (She told me she knew about the pregnancy before she dumped me.)


I asked if we could work out our relationship and she said no, absolutely not. No particular reason, she just said 'she did not want to, at all.'


I have accepted that we cannot be in a relationship, and decided to focus my energy on preparing for fatherhood and being a good father to the baby. He is due to be born in 4 days.


I have told her many times that I intend to be a good father, always there for her and baby, and wish to be fully involved, as much a spossible with our baby. (I believe parenthood is a joint equal enterprise, and I believe it is important that a baby should have the benefit of the love and support of both his parents.)


Despite my good intentions toward her and baby, I have suffered a lot of abuse from her and threats verging from threats to not see the baby born (for no reason.) and most recently threats that she will leave my name off the birth certificate so that I have no rights over the baby.


One such threat, among many others from her, is that the baby will be named exclusively with her surname.


I have intimated to her that I may wish to have joint care of the child, as I do not see any reason why one party should have more right than the other to have access to the baby. Of course, I also informed her that if she decides to go through with any of her threats and continue to use the baby as leverage and a way to manipulate and hurt me (which is a horrible thing to do) then I will have to seek recourse through the family courts here in the Uk, so that my rights (and corresponding responsibilities) are protected by the full force of the law. I would not be so insistent on going through courts (a last resort) if she was not inexplicably making these threats against me, when I have done absolutely nothing at all to deserve it. Further, it is for the good of the baby and his wellbeing, and upbringing that I have more than a superficial involvement in his day to day life.


Anyway, now that I have provided a little background, my question is thus:


Once I have established paternity can I, under any circumstances get a court order so that the baby has both mine, and her surname in its name?

Or, to put it another way, would the court be persuaded that this is in the child's best interests?


I do not intend to 'take the baby away from her [my ex].' rather I merely wish to ensure my rights are strong and protected by the law. The only right I wish to pursue is the right to have 50% of the say, and if necessary 50% of the custody of the child or something similar.


I am genuinely a good person who wants his child to have the best possible upbringing from both parents, and the whole naming issue, I feel is important to me and to the resulting child. And I feel that the with-holding of my name is an attempt to hurt me and possibly one of a series of measures designed to alienate me.


So, does anybody on here know the position on child names. ( I don't insist on my surname or her surname. I insist on both, as it seems we cannot agree)

Better still, has anybody experienced a similar situation, and what was the outcome? How did circumstances differ, if at all?

I look forward to your help, guidance and advice.


Kindest regards,

Snuffy.

[maliceluvsyou]

I don't see why the courts would not grant the baby to have both names, I mean you are the father

[Gem_22205]

Scottish Executive Justice Department: Child Custody Issues Specific to Scotland

Scotland has separate legislation from England and Northern Ireland.

Absent a court order the child's mother automatically has PRR's (parental responsibilities and rights)(Scotland)Act of 1995

Which covers the following:

* safeguard and promote the child's health, development and welfare
* provide direction and guidance to the child
* maintain direct contact and personal relations with the child, if he or she does not live
With you
* act as the child's legal representative

A child's father will have PRR's automatically only if he is married to the mother at the time of conception or subsequently, or if he registers the birth of the child jointly with the mother, in accordance with The Family Law (Scotland) Act of 2006. Which applies to children born on or after 04 May 2006. A father can acquire by also completing and registering a Parental Responsibilities and Parental Rights Agreement (PRPRA), or by seeking them from the court.

There were also fears during the passage of the Children (Scotland) Act 1995 that undue pressure would be brought to bear on mothers to sign Parental Responsibilities and Parental Rights Agreements. While this does not seem to have materialized, there may still be concerns that, if parental responsibilities and rights were given to fathers who had jointly registered the birth, the 21 day period within which the birth must be registered might not be the best time to make decisions on what is best for the child. Apart from cases of post-natal depression, the emotions surrounding the birth may cloud the parents' judgement as to whether the birth should be jointly registered. As more mothers become aware of the legal consequences of joint registration so some might wish to avoid conferring rights on the father, by refusing to agree to joint registration.

Without the mothers consent to add your name you will have to have a court rule as to the adding of your surname.

Hope this helps you.
Good-Luck