[Baby-_-Girl-_-19]

THE BACKGROUND: Over the last year I've been through a lot when it comes to guys and dating and the entire relationship thing. I've been cheated on, used, played, and just really hurt. I was in a long relationship things didn't work and ever since I've had really crappy luck with guys in general they either turn out to only want one thing, jerks, or liking my best friend.

THE DELIMA: Tonight at the pool hall I saw one of my best friends and he had his brother troy with him. Troy is about 4 years older than I am, yet he's a total sweetheart and I find it easier for me to date older guys they match my maturity level more... anyways... Me and him are dating now thanks to his brother. Well, with this rotten lucky I've been having I'm scared, I'm not still hung up or anything I'm just scared. I've always had issues letting people in but after everything that I've been put through it just seems almost impossible that a guy could ever really care about me or treat me decently. I really like him I'm trying not to push him away but its hard.

So I realize there's not really a question in that its more of a statement. So instead of asking an outright question I'll simply ask for advice. I realize there are quite a few holes in that and that it might be slightly confusing and I'll try to fill in more as you all start to awnser but right now I'm exhausted and after I look through some more stuff I'm am going to bed...

[JBeaucaire]

Think of it this way:

• Guys are like snowflakes...from a distance they all look alike, but up close each one is completely unique. Treat them that way.
• Comparing guys in general may seem fine, but usually isn't fair to them or to you
• Should YOU be held accountable for the sins of girls you don't even know? If not, then why should the next guy you date be suspected in any way because of what your previous dates did wrong?
• Guys who treat you wrong are demonstrating problems with themselves as an individual, not the entire male sex
• TRUST is something you give automatically, always. Keeping the trust is the guy's responsibility. He has it until he breaks it.
• If a guy breaks your trust, forgive him, so you can heal. But you have to move on after you've forgiven him.
• Dating isn't about protecting yourself, it's about getting to know OTHERS...while letting them get to know you. Stop focusing on YOU while dating, let him do that. You focus on him.

[talaniman]

I assume as your name implies your 19, and out of school, so let me give you a tip, dating and giving yourself some time to really get to know someone, is the way to go before investing your heart, and your trust completely into it. Go slow and pay attention, and see people for what they are, and not what you THINK they are. After 6 months or so, of having fun, while you get to know them, you should have a good idea of if they are worth an exclusive relationship or not, as moving to fast, and investing emotionally to soon, you will stand a chance of being hurt, and miserable when they reveal their true self. Balance your life with things you enjoy for now without a relationship and learn to be happy with yourself, and I doubt you'll invest your whole soul to a stranger, and expect them to make you happy. Not realistic.

[Fr_Chuck]

I will also note, you say in the last year, and you speak of long relationships, Since a year would bearly be a long relationship, one has to remember that dating , esp when you start dating, it is the time you are just getting to know the other person, and if you move too fast, you often find yourself hurt, the first few months is nothing but learning.
And also often it is the where you meet people, if you meet someone at a bar drinking, then a year latter people complain their partner is a drunk, and so on

[jrsg]

Trust the guy for now, if he loses your trust, then okay. You are probably going to go through more relationships, and will probably be hurt time and time again. Just don't judge guys before you know them. Look back and remember the good times, and forget (but learn from) the bad times.

Good luck with your current relationship, and I hope it all works out for you!

[chuff]

Everyone's advice is better then this but I will just add, if you never take the chance, you'll never know. You might get hurt in the end or it might work out, but you can't live your life in fear always, wondering "what if."