[Anorosh33]

I am lost. I do not know how to react anymore. I cannot be clear with anyone. I’ve created restrictions with all the friends I have. I am 22 year old male. I had this un-ordinary relationship with my best friend. We know everything about each other. I am him, and he is me. Everything seemed well until I left my home country to work in another country. He is gay. I am not precisely gay, bisexual most probably. I love girls. I enjoy girls. I do not get turned on by boys, nor do I have attraction towards them except him. But that's another issue.

I miss him a lot. And he misses me too but rationally thinking he got used to the idea of me being away and got over it and now he has a happy life with his boyfriend... I am jealous. What he is doing is right but I can't get used to the idea of not having him in my life anymore. I am always sad. I think about him all the time. I have to get over it and continue my life. But the thought of losing the only person that I act 100% myself with, scares me a lot. The worst thing that can happen to anyone is loneliness. And now I'm Lonely. What can I do to take him out of my head? How can this end up? Will it be possible to still have him in my life as a regular friend? I usually am a very numb stone-hearted person but he made become so emotional :confused: :confused: :confused:

We used to be in opposite positions until he managed to 'model' me into his own desired shape. He enjoyed it until I left and got over it.

Please can anyone talk to me? I am in desperate need to communicate to someone.
I have talked about this to him but he was reasonable enough to say 'what can we do other than getting used to it'.

Anyone? Anything?

[George_1950]

It's really not that complicated; but I did not say easy. For some reason, you have become somewhat dependent on the relationship and you will be better off when you have moved on and gotten over it. That takes some time, yes; and you probably have some self-esteem issues to work out as well. So, be patient and work on your independence and happiness issues. I like to recommend a book by Susan Jeffers, but there are many others.

[chuff]

I am lost. I do not know how to react anymore. I cannot be clear with anyone. I’ve created restrictions with all the friends I have.

I’m not trying to be funny, but what exactly does it mean when you say you’ve created restrictions with all your friends? What kind of restrictions?

I am 22 year old male. I had this un-ordinary relationship with my best friend. We know everything about each other. I am him, and he is me.

You are very emotional and you lying to yourself. You are you, he is him. You are just saying stuff like that to continue this bond between you, but that is not reality.

Everything seemed well until I left my home country to work in another country. He is gay. I am not precisely gay, bisexual most probably.

Again, this is not an attack but you seem like you have deep emotional scars or issues that a therapist might be able to assist you with. Your 22 and you can’t even define whether you are straight or gay without questioning it. My guess is your supposed best friend has warped your mind and molded you this his thinking as opposed to you thinking for yourself.

I love girls. I enjoy girls. I do not get turned on by boys, nor do I have attraction towards them except him. But thats another issue.

That’s strange. The one guy you seem to get turned on by is the one guy you define as you are him, he is you. It sounds more like he’s a mind control expert or at least preyed upon somebody who is extremely emotional and was needed some kind of emotional support. Did he just happen to come along at just the right time in your life to fit that description?

I miss him a lot. And he misses me too but rationally thinking he got used to the idea of me being away and got over it and now he has a happy life with his boyfriend... I am jealous.

I think this would be the best thing that could happen to you. You know have time to yourself to look at this from a logical perspective and to build up valuable traits you can use for the future in relationships with women and friends.

What he is doing is right but I can't get used to the idea of not having him in my life anymore. I am always sad. I think about him all the time. I have to get over it and continue my life.

Hey I’m getting over an ex as we speak and while I those thoughts do creep up on me, I try to force them out or distract them. Furthermore, I look at my new found time as an advantage that I didn’t previously have. I’d suggest the same thing for you. Use this time for number one and improve or do things for yourself.

But the thought of loosing the only person that I act 100% myself with, scares me a lot.

So act like yourself with everybody. Let me be honest with you, some people won’t like you. Some people don’t like me if you can believe such a thing. I know, you’re thinking “that’s impossible.” No, it’s true, I’ve fired several people over the years and I bet not one of them has a good word to say about me. Oh well, life goes on, but I’m not going to change who I am for somebody else. Neither should you. You and I only have 70 to 100 years here on this planet. You’ve earned the right to be yourself during those times.

The worst thing that can happen to anyone is loneliness.

What if you redefined that to say,” the best thing that could happen to me is that I have time to pursue my own interests.” Loneliness is an emotion and if you feel lonely change that emotion for maximum positive benefit.

What can I do to take him out of my head? How can this end up? Will it be possible to still have him in my life as a regular friend? I usually am a very numb stone-hearted person but he made become so emotional :confused: :confused: :confused:

He has made you emotional? I think you were emotional, but you hid that portion of yourself and he tapped into and brought it out. You give him way too much credit, because I think he took advantage of your emotional being and used it for his own self.

We used to be in opposite positions until he managed to 'model' me into his own desired shape. He enjoyed it until I left and got over it.

Thank you, you have just confirmed it. He saw an emotional guy and took advantage of it by “modeling” you.

Please can anyone talk to me? I am in desperate need to communicate to someone.
I have talked about this to him but he was reasonable enough to say 'what can we do other than getting used to it'.

Anyone? Anything?

Use this new time for you, this is a great way for you to finally find yourself and to define yourself.