[rulebreaker]

A lot of you there probably have heard of the three-day rule (don't call her before 3 days after the first date). Well, it was too late when I learned about this ritual.

Let's go over what happened:
1. I go out with this amazing girl last night (my first formal date after casuals since I ended a serious relationship about 1 year ago, so it may explain my being a bit clingy)
2. She wanted to know me better so we generally talked for 1.5h but it felt like 5min, but still no chances for romantic stuff
3. After agreeing to meet up again she just gave me a short hug saying she enjoyed it and hastily left
4. I got home, text messaged her about what a great time I had and that I'd love to see her again, she replied just saying that she also enjoyed it
5. the next day - texted her to ask her out again - she said she has to do some work for her work
6. texted her back asking what about tomorrow after work - replied saying that she's busy the whole week

At that moment I realised that I might have screwed up, did some research and found out about the three day rule. It's just that it didn't seem like a normal first date so I was thinking of repeating it soon. Now I know I overeacted, do you think she lost interest?

So, I was wondering - is there any remedy for that?

[Simple Asian]

There is no such things as a 3 days rules...

And you maybe you are a little bit clingy... so try to easy it up a little bit... girls don't like guys clingy... they want to be free and also want a man that can be busy himself... so just do something with the friends and let her come to you...

And if she not?. call her up for a lunch or something later the week.. but don't sound clingy .if she don't want to.. that means she has no interesting in you

[danielnoahsmommy]

Try not texting. It is very impersonal. In a couple of days give her a call.

[ISneezeFunny]

1. Yes... the three day rule exists, but really, it's the urban legend of dating. I usually adhered to this rule, until a female friend told me, "Do you know how much girls worry if the guy doesn't call?!? That rule is BS."

If you like her, had a great time with her, then it's no harm to just text her to tell her you had fun and hope that you will see her again. I wouldn't advise to call her the next morning, but if you want to talk to her, calling her a day or two afterwards doesn't hurt.

2. However the case, you seemed extremely clingy... texting 2 - 3 times asking to see her. Texting her to say, "I had fun, hope we can do it again" after the date... harmless.

Calling her perhaps the next day or two days afterwards to see if you guys can get together again... harmless.

However, once she said she's busy, then the best option was to say, "ok, then give me a call once you free up" thus putting the ball in her court. If she doesn't call you in about a week, then you can do one of two things here: call her again to see what's up, or just realize that she may be either busy or uninterested.

Regardless, now that the relative damage is done (and it's not even that bad, trust me), just hold off a little bit and see what she does. If she calls you, great. If not, try again in a few days, see how it goes.

Again, don't think the world has ended. We learn through our mistakes.

[JBeaucaire]

One rule of dating, only one rule. Want to know what it is? Sorry, it isn't about dates, times, locations, methods, good words and bad words, none of that. Oh my?

The only RULE of dating is don't lie.

• That means be yourself - don't lie about who you are.
• It means don't manipulate - say what you mean because it's what you mean...not some trick you're using to "imply" something.
• It means get out when it's over - the most precious commodity in life is time. When you realize you two won't make it, regardless of feelings, end it. Wasting her time after that moment is the worst lie of all.

Keep the stupid text machine in your pocket and save that for mom and dad. A little TLC means you don't treat her like the masses, texting and emailing as if that were meaningful in any way. It isn't.

It takes a human touch and a human voice to make someone feel special.

Your texting makes it EASY for her to blow you off. Figure out something meaningful and substantive to invite her to, CALL her and talk to her about that awesome opportunity. Make sure it's a week or more away so she can clear her schedule.

[rulebreaker]

I like your answer, JBeaucaire. I always appreciate advices based on experience.
I think it's a good thing to always be honest.
But do you agree that before having the chance of doing that even with smb. That is generally honest, you have to play some games? Some rituals let's say, that like every ritual involve some faking. I mean I'm usually pretty sure on my decisions (approaches), what makes it difficult to me is to guess what 'rules' they (in this case - she) follow.
So that's why I decided to ask people, to get a picture of common sense in this situation.

[JBeaucaire]

First, what does "smb" stand for? Sorry if it's obvious.

Second, I get what you mean. If you read my notes to people about the purpose of dating, I say it take up to 6 months for the "fake people" to disappear. We always put on our best face and courting behaviors when we first start dating, falsely sweet levels of concerna and doting on the other person.

That can go on for months. So you do have to wait for the fakeness and games to subside and the real people to show up.

This usually happens with the fights and disagreements you have around the same time. The other person's insecurities and controlling ways start to surface and allow them all sorts of meanness. By then you've been together you want to ignore when they're this way because of your feelings and time put in so far.

That's too bad. As far as I'd recommend, this is when you most start to pay attention.

Anyway, even during the falseness and sweetness of the early months of dating, a more experienced person develops the ability to not actually be lying. That takes practice.

So, ultimately I still stand by my one rule. The more mature you are, the less you need to engage in any dating ritual that presents you falsely.