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srulik86 · May 30, 2008, 11:09 AM

If I text my ex saying I want us to at least be friendly with each other. I miss her so mucha and maybe doing this she will start to want to be a part of my life. I'm going insane here.

Fr_Chuck · May 30, 2008, 11:14 AM

Yes it would be stupid, the part of getting over an ex is trying to get over them, moving on and having no contact with them.
You need to start putting effort into texting someone new in the future

progunr · May 30, 2008, 11:14 AM

You need to be honest with yourself.

Once the friendship line has been crossed, it is nearly impossible to go back to it.

You admit you want to be more than a friend, so just saying that, is being dishonest and deceitful, when what you really want is to be a couple again.

If anything, tell her that. If she has no interest in it, lying to her about wanting to be her friend isn't going to do you any good.

There's an old song from the 70's by Lobo that goes something like this: "I love you too much to ever start liking you, so lets just let the story, have an end. I love you too much to ever start liking you, so don't expect me, to be your friend".

How true this really is.

RunDownLover · May 30, 2008, 11:16 AM

Maybe Talking To her in Person Would Be Better. She Might Relize How Much You Really Like And Care For Her :) Tell Her How To Feel And Im Sure She Feels The Same. If Not Don't Get Too Worked Up Over It. Something's Don't Work Out. Just Try And Move On. Don't Waste Your Time If She Doesn't Want To Be Friendly Again. Do What's Best For YOU And Only What YOU Want. No One Else :) Good Luck Huni.

srulik86 · May 30, 2008, 11:18 AM

Sadly she won't talk to me in person. She dumped me by text. She won't even speak to me on the fone. You guys are right, I only want her back so there's no point in lying to myself. I just don't want her last memories of me being bad ones.

Romefalls19 · May 30, 2008, 11:20 AM

"Y'see, when a girl decides that you're her friend, you're no longer a dating option. You become a complete non-sexual entity in her eyes, like a brother... or a lamp" - Just Friends

So yes, that would be stupid. Are you ready to hear about her bonking the guy she met at the bar that she can't remember his name? I didn't think so. You are setting yourself up for a world of hurt if you become her friend this early on

srulik86 · May 30, 2008, 11:28 AM

Id ont actually intend to be friends with her. In fact as soon as I say it I plan to go NC again... I only want to make peace with her because therw will be times at certain parties I will see her and I don't want it to be awkwrd and I don't want telast meory she has of me is me telling her we should disappear from each others loves and her watching me flirt with loads of girls... thats the memory she has now.

zooropa1985 · May 30, 2008, 11:43 AM

Dude from my experience even if you were friends it wouldn't last long, either she will back even further away or you will screw it up by wanting to be with her.

Best to ride the storm now rather than later... I'm in the same boat

srulik86 · May 30, 2008, 11:46 AM

Your right! I'm riding the storm right now. It is so tough. The sun is shining, all my friends have abandondd me tonight and I know she is out in the sun, drinking, having a good time, bunch of guys and girls and it is ripping my up inside. Completely! But if I can get through this I can get through anything. I've done the friends thing with this girl before and it screwed both of us and as a result she ended up coming back to me... then things went wrong and now its all over.

damaged · May 30, 2008, 11:49 AM

Stop w0rrying about it... She dumped you so that means she dsnt want a relationship with you.. she won't even talk to you... I would say its time to let her go and stop worrying about what she thinks about you... Live YOUR life how you want it... u don't hv to live to anyone's expectations...

srulik86 · May 30, 2008, 11:51 AM

Yea her! I want to be with someone who wants to be with me through think and thin! Not someone who runs away at the first hurdle!

srulik86 · Jun 1, 2008, 06:49 AM

OK, everyone shout at me... I text her! I'm such an idiot! I simply said 'look, I just want to peace. I hope we can be friendly to each other when we see each other around. I don't expect you to reply, just know I won't make it awkward. Last week I acted like a and have done many times in the past. Hope your well.' she replied saying 'thanks, don't worry about last week. Take care.' which was so sad, because we use dto be so close and it really upsets me that its all over now. Like I actually thought she was the one and I know she felt the same at points. I know its for the best, I just miss her so much and miss the things we'd do and us talking and oh I'll shut up. I went out to the big london tube party last night and had a blast. Went a big crazy, and didn't think about her... until now. And I really, really miss her. Sorry.

damaged · Jun 1, 2008, 07:27 AM

yea.. we always think they're the ONE... and it sucks when its over.. your whole world comes crashing down... How can someone you loved so much, hurt you so badly?. its so sad when someone you knows becomes someone you knew... & its hard losing a friend... thats depressing!. but there's nothing we can do.. they chose not to be with us, so its time to let go, and move on.. it's HARD, oh GOD, its very hard.. there are so many things I wish I could say- to him, to me... I wish I could tell my heart- stop crying/suffering for him... my head understands is not worth it but my heart can't seen to let go...

How do u let go??
sorry I'm being very random.. I just woke up & have this bad feeling that today is not going to be a good day...

srulik please I know its hard, but you must stop txin/ talking to this girl... its very hard because you love her so much and you want her in your life some how, but you can't be just friends with someone you love... ur going to hurt even more... txtin/talkin is taking you back to the first squares... leave her alone and try to get better.. it may take some time but at the end maybe you can truly be friends with her.. if you try this now your going to damage your heart even more... like some friends tell me :you first, you second, you third, and you last.. ur the best thing since slice bread(it may seem kind of selfish but its not.. they're right.) you got to think about you because I'm sure she's thinking about HER before u

talaniman · Jun 1, 2008, 08:03 AM

Srulik86,

would I be stupid if. If I text my ex saying I want us to at least be friendly with each other.

Yes it really would especially if you don't get the results you want.

I miss her so mucha and maybe doing this she will start to want to be a part of my life. I'm going insane here.

I don't think it works that way, and being insane, and being stupid are two different things.

talaniman · Jun 1, 2008, 08:11 AM

id ont actually intend to be friends with her. In fact as soon as I say it I plan to go NC again...

Now that's stupid, sorry guy but your playing games with yourself, because she is gone and doesn't care what your doing. That's what a break up is about.

I text her! I'm such an idiot!

So is that a confession or what?

Look guy, I know your hurting, but following mistake, after mistake is not the way to move on. Now get with the program, and stop whining about the chance to man up, and have some dignity and respect for yourself. Up to you.