[lizzydizzychick]

Urgent help and advice needed! How do I explain to my boyfriend without him taking it the wrong way that I am not ready to move in with him because he has a 16year old daughter living there full time who sometimes comes across as though she doesn't want me around. I have been with this guy for 14 months now and I love him dearly and would like to think he is the one but at the moment I just do not want to live with a teenager. I am only 30 (he is 38) and I have only just got myselt settled into a new flat which my family don't want me to give up. They have advised to me hold off moving in with them until she grows up a bit but I am scared that she is never going to make it comfortable for me there and I am never going to accept her. I am also scared that if I don't move in with him soon he will leave me

[woo]

Eish girl! This is a tough cookie. I feel you though cause I'm falling for a man with a ten year old daughter and she is growing up.

I think that you should stay by your flat till you feel comfortable moving in with them. She may give you a hard time, but just remember that you guys love each other and sometimes that's all that matters. Be nice to her when you can and your man will see you effort and maybe try to talk to her.

Good luck

woo

[talaniman]

Tell your b/f your not ready, nor do you want to move in at this time. If he doesn't understand, and respect your decision, them he is not the one. I honestly think you should stick to your own instincts, and do what's right for you, and not be pressured by any one.
Living apart can help you grow together and learn to work together so what's the hurry, Stay where you are, secure, safe, comfortable, and let him raise his daughter. That gives you time to get to know her, and her you, without the pressure of feeling forced on each other. Good luck.

[carilu]

If I were you I would tell him that you care about him a lot , but also you would like to get to know he's daugther and spend a little bit more time one on one with her to see how well you guys get along from there you will make a decision get to know her also sometimes teenagers get jealouse and you sure don't want her to hait you other wise she will make your life miserble. If he cares and likes you a lot he will understand that his daughtherand you need to get to know each other bfore making a decision like that.


Good! Luck!!

[chuff]

I would tell him exactly what you told us, in fact I'd say it just like you wrote it.

[liz28]

If your not ready then don't, by you not moving in with him it couldn't change the relationship.

Meanwhile try to get to know the daughter better because some where down the road your going have to get along, that what happens when you go with a guy with a child and she a teenager so your going have to get along or at least civil with one another.Try spending some time alone with her by going out together so she can get to know you or just have a heart felt talk with her.