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katie crespo · May 27, 2008, 08:31 AM

My boyfriend is 20 and I'm 14 and I need help
We want to be together but my parents put a restraining on him but I want to be with him.
I want to go to court so I can be with him
But I don't know how to do it
Please help

ScottGem · May 27, 2008, 08:39 AM

Forget it. Any 20 yr old who wants to be with a 14 yr old is probably a pedophile. Your parents are trying to protect you and the courts agree you need protection. No court is going to allow such a relationship. In most states he would be put in jail for having sex with you.

I know it sounds like forever, but you need to wait 5-6 years. If, after that time, you both still have feelings for each other, you can explore them then.

MrsJoseph06 · May 27, 2008, 08:58 AM

Hi sweetie~
I was in your situation I was 15 and my boyfriend was 22. Luckly my parents allowed us to date. He is now my husband of almost 2 years. Since your parents put a restraining order on him there really is not much you can do. Why did they put the restrainign order on him. Also you need to be aware that your parents can claim that he had sex with you even if that is not true and he can go to jail! You don't want to mess around with that! You need to talk to your parents. When my hubby and I did it we sat down and talke dit over with my parents and they allowed us to date but on there terms! It was not easy at all and we had to do everything above par! But it was totally worth it in the end. Like Scott said if you both really love one another you can wait till your 17 1/2 when you have a say in your life! I know it sucks! Believe me! Also don't have sex with him till your legal! Sweetie it's just so not worth him going to jail! We waited till I was 18 it was really hard but totally worth the wait. But let me know a little more about your situation.

ScottGem · May 27, 2008, 09:01 AM

I just wanted to point out that MrsJ is the exception not the rule. The odds of an adult (over 18) being interested in a young teen for anything other than sex is remote. And if there is really something to your attraction, then it will survive waiting as MrsJ's did.

MrsJoseph06 · May 27, 2008, 09:04 AM

Even though I'am not the "RULE" as scott pointed out does not mean that in your situation it can't work out! But everyone is different, and every situation is different! I just wanted to add MY 2 cents. And waiting is the best policy in regards to sex but to have a relationship is fine in my book as long as your parents allow it!

Tuscany · May 27, 2008, 09:28 AM

I am 10 years younger then my husband. We met when I was little, we never dated or anything of the sort until I was 20. We were just friends. My husband encouraged me to live my life, go to college, then if I was still interested come to him. I did, just prior to my 21st birthday. We have been together ever since.

The reason I think my situation worked is because he let me grow up and live my life. He never pressured me, I never pressured him. We just lived our lives until the time was right. He is my soulmate.

With the restraining order your parents are forcing you to wait. But trust me if it is true love then the wait is worth it.

ScottGem · May 27, 2008, 09:44 AM

Originally Posted by MrsJoseph06

Even though I'am not the "RULE" as scott pointed out does not mean that in your situation it can't work out! But everyone is diffrent, and every situation is diffrent! I just wanted to add in MY 2 cents. And waiting is the best policy in regards to sex but to have a relationship is fine in my book as long as your parents allow it!

I wanted to make it clear that I'm not saying it can't work out. Only that the odds are against it. But the only way it can work out is by waiting until you are an adult and can make adult decisions. Right now you can't, either emotionally or legally.