[ososad]

When in a serious relationship, how much worrying about the well-being of the other person is okay? When does it become unhealthy?

I'm in a relationship w/someone who gets really upset when she doesn't know where I am. Been together for 5 + yrs, live together, and if I go to the store for 15 min and she wakes up and realizes I'm gone, she's a nervous wreck. Tells me I should tell her where I'm going because 'what if something happens to me' and she doesn't know where I am. Wants me to leave a note when I go, which is fine w/me... I know it's not a huge deal or a lot to ask... but I feel like she shouldn't worry this much. Am I wrong?

I love her and appreciate her concern- but I feel like she worries TOO much. Before we met, I went out all the time w/o telling anyone where I was, and so did she. And it didn't result in either of us going missing or dying tragically. I mean, I'm not doing anything wrong- I'm not disappearing for days w/o explanation- sometimes I just want to go out and drive around and see where I end up... but I can't do that. And it kind of makes me feel like I have a little less freedom by having to check in and out- maybe that's just part of being in a relationship? Or is she too worried about things?

Please give me some advice. Thanks.

[talaniman]

And it kind of makes me feel like I have a little less freedom by having to check in and out- maybe that's just part of being in a relationship? Or is she too worried about things?

Part of being in a relationship, is to consider your partners feelings in your actions, and to express, and communicate your feelings, and ideas. That includes LISTENING TO HERS. She may be insecure, I don't know. For sure she has expressed how she feels, and its not over the top to pay heed, as it's a small thing she asks. Just make sure she does the same as she asked of you. I understand your need to feel the freedom of following your whims, and impulses, but that is overshadowed by your need to at least consider the feelings of your partner. If its too much, talk it over, and come to a compromise, that works for you both.