[Spartan74]

Hello everyone. I used to live in UK (9 years) but my origins are Greek. I was in a long term relationship (19 months) when I and my girlfriend split up (if you can say that). We had few problems mainly with trust as I caught her being out drinking and flirting. We had our arguments but she promised me that she would stop drinking as it was the main problem. When she was drinking it proved very hard for her to control herself. To add, she never cheated on me but she was acting in a very provocative way even with one of ex. Down the line, she left me without having said anything (I just returned back home and she had taken the majority of her stuff - we were leaving together for 5 months by that time). I called her and she didn't even want to talk to me but she said that she loves me but she doesn't want to be with me because of this trust issue (bear in mind that we went the same through the same situation at least four times - or her attitude and drinking behaviour - despite the promises that it won't happen again). After 2 weeks I decided to return to greece to take a decision about my life as I wasn't happy at all in UK - in all aspects including career. I left and even then she said that I won't be with you even if I love you - in addition she added that she doesn't want to be with anyone else as I am the man of her life. When I went to greece I decided that I'm going to leave UK for good. When I returned after a week I let her know that I'm leaving and it would be nice if she could come and take the remaining of her stuff. We ended up sleeping together for the last four days and she wanted to spent them with me. We carried on communicating over the phone and she carried on saying that she is addicted to me and she solves me and she couldn't be with someelse other than me BUT she doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. After a week she asked to have "radio silence" for a month. After a month she agreed to come and visit me in Greece because she still loves me but she doesn't want to feel pressurised about us talking about our future (I have already asked her to come and live with me in Greece). The problem is that she is she's getting influenced by her friends and family - especially her sister that we don't have good relations anyway as she things that I don't want her sister to enjoy her life). IN a week time she's coming over to visit me for couple of weeks. The problem is that I still have feelings for her BUT she still insists that she loves me loads but she doesn't want to have a relationship with me (or with anyone else). I really don't know what to do. Would she ever change her mind? Please respond

[talaniman]

I really don't think she will, and seeing her, and being intimate won't help you at all, and you will never heal as long as she can come, and go as she pleases. If you want friends with benefits fine, you got it, and she seems agreeable for now. If you want more forget it, it will not happen. If moving on to better things is what you need, then leaving her alone is your best bet.

[ka1111]

Malakismenes gkomenes,theomourles oles tous...

[nickshehe]

Simfono me ton ka1111 :]
--
I agree with tal.. it's like you're dragging a dead corpse along with you that you won't let go of.. It's only bringing you more pain and sorrow - just bury it and walk away.

[talaniman]

All right you two, english please.

[nickshehe]

Basic translation to what ka111 said is: women are crazy.
For the other readers on the thread :]

[talaniman]

They sure are.

[kalinova]

My best advice is to move on. She obviously doesn't know what she wants and doesn't have a mind of her own to make decisions on who she wants to be with. When your in a relationship you have to compromise on some things and she is not willing to compromise her drinking and flirting with other guys. Yes, life is too short and you need to have fun, but not at the expense of someone else's feelings. If she truly loved you she would want to make you happy and stay will you. Relationships are not one way streets...