[c_ratinaud]

My father and I haven't spoken for almost 2 years. The reason that we stopped talking is because he molested me. Now, I am trying to deal with the fact that my grandmother still doesn't believe me and my father has made almost no effort to try to make up for what he did. He is now remarried and has a new daughter. That also concerns me because she is very young. On one hand, I want to tell him how bad it hurts to know that he doesn't love me enough to try to make amends with me even if that means that I never talk to him again. But on the other hand, I am so angry with the fact he won't apologize to me or even respect me almost to the point to where I just want to give up and like send him a letter or something telling him that I am done. I don't know what to do and I don't know who to talk to about it. My friends feel weird when I try to tlak to them because none of them have experienced anything like this. Please help me!

[ladykiren]

You really need to talk to him, you don't have to do this face to face but things need to be said. Especially if you are worried about the new daughter you need to step in. Maybe you should call him or you could send him a letter but don't let something happen to her because he wasn't making an effort.

[Fr_Chuck]

Well first most likely he is not sorry, he is sick. You need to tell your family, his new wife should know also , hopefully she will protect the new child

[c_ratinaud]

The last time that I talked to him, he said that he told the new wife what happened... but I don't believe he told the whole truth because what woman in her right mind would marry a known sex offender??

I'm thinking about talking to children services. Also, I want to send him a letter, but I don't know his new address. I guess ill just send it to the old in the hope that it will be forwarded to the new...

[Fr_Chuck]

Find him, what is his name, we have people on here that are good at finding people. His wife needs to know, I doubt he told her.
As for the "father" I would never talk to him again, unless telling him off is part of your theropy, and if you have not gotten professional help, get it to help yourself to move on

[c_ratinaud]

His name is Francois Alex Ratinaud. All I know about his wife is that her name is Lisa. I don't know her maiden name.

I went to therapy for a few monthes and even had a session with him, but all he did was scoff at everything I had to say like I was lying. I ended up yelling at him because I got so frustrated

[450donn]

Therapy for sex abuse can take years to work through. Please go back and keep at it until you again can feel good about yourself. There are also groups that might be beneficial to you. Also call social services. How long has it been since your last abuse. The statue of limitations might be like 7 years. In jail and being someone's girl friend might do him some damage for a change.

[c_ratinaud]

I went to therapy for like 6 months... but I felt like nothing got accomplished. All we did was talk about day to day life.

When I talked to the children's services... and they said that I didn't have a case against him... there was no "evidence" (DUH!)

I don't know... im just close to saying "f_ck it...i dont care anymore"

[450donn]

Six months is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Like I said before this could take years to work through all these issues. If you cannot afford to pay for one, seek out a church that offers counselling. Many churches also offer group therapy that you might find helpful. You would be surprised how many others that also have been sexually abused.

[c_ratinaud]

Yeah... ive been looking up other people who have been molested etc. and I have found a lot. My mom's insurance covers the cost of the therapist, but I just feel like I don't want to go. I don't know...

[talaniman]

Its so easy to be discouraged as things don't seem to be making progress fast enough. Don't be put off, just hang in there and give things a chance to sink in, and you'll get to the point of understanding, and clarity. I hope you never give up on yourself, and you will rise above this.

[c_ratinaud]

Thank you