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coolcooljess · May 20, 2008, 01:32 PM

Hi,
I been married for 3 months been together for a year. About 3 weeks ago he left about 5pm and came home about 6 am; he did that for about 16 days. He and I got in to a yelling match every time he left he would find something to yell at me for and try to get me mad. Yes it did work. Then he left for a 6 days and did not come home. He finally came back and asks if I want to make this marriage work but I would have to give up all my friends' because he did not like me talking to them. I told him I would but he still left again. He told me he had been stay a girl house named Stacey it's an ex of his. Be fore all of this are marriage was going bad. We would have sex for five minutes. And no hugging or kissing. I would try to hold him or touch him and he would get mad. I don't know what to do. What should I do? Oh and I tried asking him to go to someone for help but he said no. Over and over again.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · May 20, 2008, 01:48 PM

First, I don't know why your husband, a married man, is staying with an ex-girlfriend in times of trouble between you two. For crying out loud! Couldn't it be his parents, buddies, brother or sister's house?

He is controlling and selfish. Though I hate saying this and unless he is willing to work things out, then leave him. I don't like suggesting divorce because after all, why did you two get married in the first place?

coolcooljess · May 20, 2008, 01:51 PM

We got marriaed because we were in love. Should I give up?

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · May 20, 2008, 01:55 PM

Did you realize that when you made the marriage vows, they would be forever? Not for just 3 months?

Before giving up, talk to him about it. I know you are capable of it.

coolcooljess · May 20, 2008, 01:57 PM

Should I just say we need to go see someone or we have to go call it quits? I don't want to lose him because I do love him.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · May 20, 2008, 02:00 PM

Yes, tell him for the sake of ever being happy together, that you must communicate with a professional or without.

coolcooljess · May 20, 2008, 02:12 PM

Thanks

igman · May 28, 2008, 03:03 PM

There is definitely something here that needs to be fixed. Staying at an ex girlfriends house is NOT OK even if you weren't married. It seems that he does not want to go to counseling because he does not want to face the truth... my wife was like that. Ask him again to go with you... maybe even suggest he pick the counselor/therapist. If he still refuses then by all means, go by yourself. You will need the help to deal with what is to come.

karinalatina · Jun 22, 2008, 10:58 PM

Look I Know How Much You Can Love This Person Because I Love My Husband A lot Too But While Me And My Husband Have Pro Blems If He Left To Exes House And Came Back At Six Am That Would Definitely Make Up My Mind In Leaving Him But Easier Said Then Done But You Have To Make A Decision Based On The Way Hes Treating You And How Hes Acting First Hes Intentionally Trying To Get You Mad To Have Reason To Go Out And Stay Out Probably Even Cheating On You But We Don't Know This For A Fact But You Should Consider It Because Come On Exes House Why Out Of Everybody He Goes There . Second You Too Making Love He Doesn't Appreciate You Doesnot Want You To Touch Him Why Doesn't He Want You Touching Him If He Loves You He Would Want You To Touch Him And Make Him Feel Like A Freaking King Right. Third This Is What Always Gets Me Mad I Don't Understand Why Men Always Wants Us Not To Have Friends Now This Is A Definite No In Listening To Him You Should Always Have Friends He Definitely Has Friends I Bet You Don't Want Him Talking To Like That Stacey He Can't Be Selfish. I Mean If You Love Him Give It One More Try What The Hell You Been Together For A Year Right But He Can't Be Lea Ving And Coming Back At 6 That Has To Stop Or There's No Point In Trying To Fix Relationship Tell I M That Hope This Helps In Some Way.

be1013 · Jun 22, 2008, 11:22 PM

I think definalty you should consider ending this relationship. Maybe you're in love with him... but if a man is in love with you he would NOT do that type of thing. Sorry, but it's just my opinion, hope things work out, I really do.

0rphan · Jun 23, 2008, 02:07 PM

An awful lot has gone on in just 3 months, something's definitely not right.
His demands are unreasonable, how could you possibly be expected to give all your friends up... why!

The feeling I'm getting from this post, is that he's already seeing someone, he's treating you badly, so you will have an excuse to leave him, leaving him free to do his own thing.

Sometimes it's difficult to read a situation just from what is posted... not enough information.

If you think he's worth giving it another go then obviously you have to try, personally if it were me I wouldn't bother.

I am sincerely sorry if your feelings have been hurt, but I have to say what I feel.

cschaupp · Jun 23, 2008, 02:29 PM

If he cared for you and your relationship he would be willing to work things out and not run to his "ex girlfriends" for comfort. He is being disrespectful to you and your marriage. Leave him and work on being a confident happy person on your own. You deserve to be treated with respect and shouldn't settle for less.