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sweetlee102 · May 20, 2008, 10:15 AM

Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for five months. I am almost 30 he is 37. Things are going well however I have my own issues that I am working on, mainly trust issues. It isn't him its me and I'm seeking help for that. I also worry a lot about him leaving me for someone else. I have been this way in every single relationship, I know it is a problem. Anyway, my boyfriends lease is up and he is looking to move in my area, he is not that far now but he will be really close, which yes is nice. I however am now worrying about other things. For instance, hisbest friend is also moving to the area and he is single and likes to go out and meet girls, which I know I know he is single nothing wrong with that. But now I'm stressed about my boyfriend going out with him all the time because they are so close. I know my boyfriend will invite me but if I can't go I know ill be stressing. Also the area I live in has A lot of very attractive girls which is something else on my mind.

I know everyone is going to tell me I sound nuts and don't think I don't realize this because I do. I just need to hear some advice or something so I can calm down.

Thank you for your help!

gg23 · May 20, 2008, 10:51 AM

Don't mean to be harsh, but it sounds like you have some insecurities that you have to work on. Having trust issues to some extent is OK I think. Trust must be earned, and 5 months is not enough to totally someone. I am not saying that yo shouldn't trust your boyfriend but you also have to follow that gut feeling you get in your stomach... from my experience, whenever I get that funny feeling,something always happen. The fear of losing him to someone else will lead to exactly what you are trying to avoid. I recently paid that price! I fell in love with my ex, and became so fearful of losing her and guess what happened? Exactly what I was fearing. It hurts like hell. A two year relationship ended within a month! Anyway. My advice is take it slow and don't worry about him leaving you unless you think you have a valuable reason. About you stressing because your boyfriend moving close to you that is not normal! That one thing that sometimes amazes me about women! That yours to figure out!

gracean11 · May 20, 2008, 11:09 AM

Hi, worrying is not healthy it will affect your health, your work and your relationships. Stop worrying give him a chance to prove that his trust worthy. You cannot predict the future no matter what you do if it'd meant to be then you have to accept it. Don't be afraid to be hurt it's part of life. It makes you strong.

talaniman · May 20, 2008, 12:45 PM

I just need to hear some advice or something so I can calm down.

What kind of help are you getting?

sweetlee102 · May 20, 2008, 12:47 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

What kind of help are you getting?

Started going to a psychologist and was put on anxiety med, lexapro

talaniman · May 20, 2008, 12:52 PM

Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for five months.

This is a still new relationship, and basically you don't know each other that well, as the trust is still in progress so to speak, and I venture that whom he is friends with, doesn't help much. Just relax and take things as they come and enjoy the new closeness. Have you been cheated on before?

sweetlee102 · May 20, 2008, 01:07 PM

Originally Posted by talaniman

This is a still new relationship, and basically you don't know each other that well, as the trust is still in progress so to speak, and I venture that whom he is friends with, doesn't help much. Just relax and take things as they come and enjoy the new closeness. Have you been cheated on before?

Thank you for your advice, and I am trying so hard to follow that, I am definitely having some sort of improvement! I have been cheated on in the past however I did not find out about it until after I broke up with him. This was about 3 years ago and I have gotten more paranoid since. He cheated with me at a bar PLUS he was trying to hook up with his best friends girlfriend. He admitted all of this. Plus people that I thought were my friends knew and did NOT tell me.

talaniman · May 20, 2008, 01:14 PM

Sometimes our past creeps into our present, and it was traumatic enough that its hard to get over it, and move on, but don't let the events of yesterday, influence today in such an adverse way. Sometime we take our chances, as there are no guarantees for anything any more, but you must give the guy a chance to prove himself. Much luck.