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New Member
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May 16, 2008, 12:54 PM
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Dad won't give daughter her money because boyfriend lives w girlfriend and mom
OK I'm 22 my girlfriend is 17 we have been together for a yr and 2 months were both very happy life is great etc. she was tired of school so she got her ged and now works full time.
We both live with her mother.
My girlfriend was involved in an auto accident when she was 10 and received 36k in the case. That money is in a charles swabb account and can't be touched until she's 18 or 21 I'm not to sure about which age. Well like I said she's working full time and needs a car to get to work everyday. We can take her either in my car or her moms car but with gas prices these days its getting near impossible. Her father is the only person who is allowed to withdraw from that account right now. My girlfriend called the person she needs to talk to about getting about 9,350 for a car and they said that's perfectly acceptable. Now here's where the problem rises, her father won't take the money out because I live with her and her mother. Now we don't need another person in this world to not be a contributing member to society there's all ready way to many of those people, and I'm sure most of you know how difficult it is to not have a car. Is there anything she can do to get her money? She needs it for a car, she makes great money but she wants to buy it out right so she doesn't have to worry about payment. Please leave me some advice so I can forward it to her
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Uber Member
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May 16, 2008, 01:00 PM
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 Originally Posted by fc3smatt
ok im 22 my gf is 17 we have been together for a yr and 2 months were both very happy life is great ect. she was tired of school so she got her ged and now works full time.
we both live with her mother.
my gf was involved in an auto accident when she was 10 and recieved 36k in the case. that money is in a charles swabb account and can't be touched until shes 18 or 21 im not to sure bout which age. well like i said shes working full time and needs a car to get to work everyday. we can take her either in my car or her moms car but with gas prices these days its getting near impossible. her father is the only person who is allowed to withdraw from that account right now. my gf called the person she needs to talk to about getting about 9,350 for a car and they said thats perfectly acceptable. now heres where the problem rises, her father wont take the money out because i live with her and her mother. now we dont need another person in this world to not be a contributing member to society theres all ready way to many of those ppl, and im sure most of u know how difficult it is to not have a car. is there anything she can do to get her money? she jus needs it for a car, she makes great money but she wants to buy it out right so she doesnt have to worry bout payment. please leave me some advice so i can forward it to her
Her father doesn't need a reason not to give it to her if he is the custodian and the settlement was age 18 or 21 - age alone is his excuse.
She can always try to go to Court to prove hardship but at her age those cases are very, very difficult.
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Internet Research Expert
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May 16, 2008, 01:56 PM
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Why not make paymemts on a car and get her credit started. She could use the money for collateral and it would look good on her credit report ( very important when starting ). That way if she is paying steady and later the funds are released to her then she can pay it off and come out smelling like a rose. Just remember not to over buy or over sell yourself on the car payments and don't forget insurance ( which is expensive ).
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Ultra Member
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May 16, 2008, 02:04 PM
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As said there is absolutely no reason he has to give other than that she hasn't reached the age of obtaining it herself. If she really is making great money do as calif said and when she is able to get the money she can finish paying it off it's a great way to build credit as a young person. I don't blame him for not getting the money for her it sounds like he is being a responsible adult doing his job as custodian to the account.
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Uber Member
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May 16, 2008, 02:27 PM
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 Originally Posted by stinawords
As said there is absolutely no reason he has to give other than that she hasn't reached the age of obtaining it herself. If she really is making great money do as calif said and when she is able to get the money she can finish paying it off it's a great way to build credit as a young person. I don't blame him for not getting the money for her it sounds like he is being a responsible adult doing his job as custodian to the account.
Not saying the father needs to say anything more than no but he MAY be concerned that the daughter is 17, has been "with" the boyfriend for something like 14 months, dropped out of high school but DID get her GED, has not gone on to any type of schooling or vocational training - and lives with the boyfriend's mother.
The father could very well be concerned about who is influencing the daughter, names on car title - not saying anything like that is happening, just saying 17 is awfully young to be handed a chunk of money and Dad may not approve.
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Expert
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May 16, 2008, 06:22 PM
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Find another way to get a car. She gets the money when the law allows, so live with it. This way she has to live within her means. That's a good thing. Do you work? Help her then.
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New Member
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May 16, 2008, 09:36 PM
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It's not that hewont give it to her because she is too young its because he wants her to move back into his house and out of her mothers . Hes just being unfair.
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Immigration Expert
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May 16, 2008, 09:57 PM
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I think her father has good reasons not to allow her to get that money.
Consider she dropped out of school and live with b/f who cannot afford his own place and live with the mother, etc.
I would probably do the same thing...
Find another way to get a car... also to prove that you two can support yourselves.. another step of being adults.
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New Member
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May 16, 2008, 10:06 PM
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So everyone thinks its OK that her dad won't give her the money for the car because her boyfriend lives there? Her dad would be more than happy to buy her a car w his own money if she were to move in w the father
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Ultra Member
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May 16, 2008, 10:49 PM
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I at least do. It's not her money yet. Dad doesn't have to help support a lifestyle he doesn't approve of. That's part of being a grown-up... your actions have consequences.
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Expert
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May 17, 2008, 04:08 AM
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As a dad, hell no, not a dime as I think allowing a b/f to stay with a daughter who lives with her mother is out of bounds, and is a red flag to me. Strange how distant dad has control, and mom doesn't. That in itself is telling. Me, I wait, and make sure she has a buck when she reaches that age. Between 3 adults they can't figure out how to get one back and forth to work? Especially since she works, and has options? Naw, she can wait, and then do whatever she wants with her money at the right time.
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Uber Member
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May 17, 2008, 06:04 AM
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 Originally Posted by fc3smatt
so everyone thinks its ok that her dad wont give her the money for the car because her bf lives there? her dad would be more than happy to buy her a car w his own money if she were to move in w the father
You don't know that.
She has two choices: (1) If she needs the car then she should move back in with the father; (2) If she needs to live with the boyfriend then she should live where she is without the car.
The Court sets distribution ages for this very reason - she should be happy it's 18 (or 21) in her case (I don't think you were certain) and not 35, which I see a lot.
As the boyfriend don't you want her to go back to school and get an education and maybe that's a better use for the money when she turns 18?
You should all be grateful that he isn't attempting to haul his daughter back to his house and having your mother arrested for custodial interference. She's 17 and has been "with you" for something like 18 months? Hmm.
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Ultra Member
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May 17, 2008, 08:12 AM
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In my area I have seen things like this with an age of 25 more than either 18 or 21. And again I too think her father is going the right thing. In no way do I think he is being "unfair" though I did have to grin at the argument about it being unfair. This is exactly why responsible adults are put on accounts like this. I also think it speaks volumes for her father and what a good job he is doing, not getting pressured into making a decision and supporting something he dosen't believe in or dosen't see as being constructive to his daughter. So yes, kudos to her father!
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Expert
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May 17, 2008, 08:19 AM
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Guess lucky it is not in GA, you would be in jail for being with her.
18 is the age of consent. But why if you are "living" together are you living with her and her mother, I would agree it sounds like a bad situation and I am not sure I would do this either. You and her should both be working and paying your own bills.
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Uber Member
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May 17, 2008, 05:10 PM
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Mom is letting her underage daughter have a guy living with them? Dad seems to have a level head in not wanting the money squandered. I don't think he's upset about anyone living with the girlfriend or her mom (but I personally think he does not like this scenerio as it was mentioned that he would buy her a car if she lived with him). I think that someone should help the daughter get a car (such as co-signing a loan) or else just ferry her back and forth to work. Gas is not that expensive when you consider the cost of a car instead. You can buy a lot of gas in lieu of a new car. If she "makes good money", then what's the beef about paying for the gasoline? Don't quite understand the reasoning here. Until she can legally spend the money any way she wishes, she's going to have to abide by what her dad says now.
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Ultra Member
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May 17, 2008, 05:26 PM
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And I have to ask... why 9K for the car? If I recall correctly, my first car cost around 2K, my second one around 4K, and my third one was the first where I spent over 10K. Yes, the first ones were older cars (about 6 years old), with some fair miles on them, but they were fine for getting me to and from work and school. Set your sights lower, and the daughter may be able to pay for the car out of her current earnings.
Just be sure to have an independent mechanic look at the car before you buy it, especially if it doesn't have a warranty!
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Uber Member
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May 17, 2008, 05:41 PM
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I've gotten some dandy cars way under $1,000 that got me from point A to point B. I agree with Froggy - why so expensive a car? Is it because you want the car to drive?. have seen this before.
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Senior Member
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May 17, 2008, 08:16 PM
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Why not find a car for a little less money?? Like several thousands less. 9300 is a lot of money. If she only needs a car for getting to work, it doesn't have to be a Rolls Royce!! I think if you found a car for around $1500 or so, he may be a little easier on you guys. His point( from what I can gather from this is) you are living there with them- why can't you come up with some mopney for a car? That is what he is thinking. Even better... find a car for a lot less money and offer to pay for half of it if he ponies up the other half. There are ways to negotiate this, Try to be a man on this one and step up to the plate and be businesslike... just because there is money in trust for this girl doesn't mean she is enitiled to it right now and that is his decision.
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Internet Research Expert
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May 18, 2008, 07:58 AM
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 Originally Posted by fc3smatt
so everyone thinks its ok that her dad wont give her the money for the car because her bf lives there? her dad would be more than happy to buy her a car w his own money if she were to move in w the father
Ok.. you have to remember you came to a legal board not a moral support anything you want board. As far as legal goes she isn't entitled to the money anyway. You said yourself there were restrictions on it. If life is so unfair at the moment consider this. How responsible can you be if you can't live independently ? I know you and your GF are starting in life and that's always tougher but really if your so responsible you shouldn't be living under someone else's roof in the first place. As far as the car goes for a nice car with reasonable miles to get to work and back nothing more then 3-4 thousand is really needed and that car should last for years. Most of us that come on this board would love to have enough money to get whatever we want but as responsible adults we realize we have budgets and we stick to them ( sometimes sacrificing for anothers needs ) just to meet the budget. So bottom line is if you look at everything from the perspective of the law.. no she doesn't get a car or money from dad. Maybe its time to look in the mirror and decide its going to be a new day and rather then just play a grown up be one.
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