[Ulysses]

Hi all! It's been a while since I last posted in a tread of my own... My original story "ended" here: https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relati...lly-83068.html
So it's kind of an update

Since there hasn't been any ex-related events or contacts, and I didn't have anything to share except for my self-absorbed state of woe (hehe) I actually had nothing to say... Neither I have now ))

Still, I am here to say the words of huge thankfulness and respect for all the people on the board who are helping out. Compassion and words of comfort, putting my particular situation into a realistic perspective, and an encouragement to man up and stay afloat was what I needed at the time. I guess I've come again for more... ))

So, like I said, I haven't heard from her since about this time last year. All in all, it's been 1,5 years since the bomb. I definitely feel much better now, no longer as bitter, sleep at nights, meet girls (though nothing serious) and occupy my free time over DAWs making squelchy house music in an ambition to get a subscription from Gigolo records)).

My point is I seem to become numb. I dont feel... Is it ok after 1.5 years? How do I work on myself to open up and start having affectionate feelings? So far, my mind circulates about HER, my ex... I need to take her out of my system!

PS doesn't seem like a formulated question, but I'd appreciate any input. Thanks!

[nickshehe]

Well it depends on what type of person you are really..
There isn't a formula for these sort of things.. it depends on the experience you had too..
After my "first bomb" - I was numb like you for 3 years.. I was seeing girls.. sleeping around.. didn't really care much about anything and then out of nowhere when I wasn't expecting it, it just happened (got in a relationship and "second bomb").
If you wait around for something to happen it won't. You need to stop putting pressure on yourself and just take each day as it comes. I never took my ex out of system until I found someone that was "worthy of replacing her" - which is totally a wrong approach and I honestly feel its 3 years wasted..
So I just think you need to relax a little and not worry so much and all will be well :]

[imation]

I agree with nicksheke.
Relax take it easy and live day by day.
I'm the kind of person who when a "bomb" drops. I franticly grab at the remains of my dignity until its all gone and I'm left all alone... to find a new girl and repeat the process. This happens so often that I don't have time to wallow on one girl in particular.. more a collective "why does this always happen" mentality.
It sounds like you've got some positive things happening in your life, so focus on them
She'll be out of your mind soon enough and the numbness will leave with her.

[talaniman]

https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/search...archid=2784970

Is this the same female?? You have spent much too much time on her. Click the links in my signature, and read the stickies for this forum, for some excellent suggestions, and insights on what to do after a break-up.

[Ulysses]

It says You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to nickshehe again.)

I agree with you guys to relax and leave the feeling for its own course).

Tal, yes it's the same female... Just updated you all on how its been for me... Huge void frankly speaking, but no more pain, thank god!
I am trying too hard to fall in love again I guess
PS I read the stickies long ago and I know what to do, though was interested in how the process goes for those who lived through this and returned back to normal (and fell in love again).
I was hoping you'd give me a magic mental trick, a secret formula... ))))

[talaniman]

I was hoping you'd give me a magic mental trick, a secret formula... ))))

Love yourself. It will work wonders. Much Luck. I have 3 life rules in my signature that may give you insight.