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advice_seeker · May 11, 2008, 09:24 PM

I live in Indiana and wish to move to TN with 2 minor children for several reasons. I am divorced with full physical custody. However, we share joint legal custody. Their father will not consent to my moving with the children. I cannot afford an attorney. I am aware of the information needed to present to a judge. I need to know how to go about this on my own. Is there a form to fill out, do I visit the clerks office, etc.

startover22 · May 11, 2008, 09:48 PM

Are you married... have you gone down to get full custody of your children? If not then he could be doing that as we speak. I suggest that be the first thing you do and then ask questions when you go to the court house. They may not be able to give advise but they will tell you what you have to do to get things completed! :) good luck!

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 07:40 PM

Originally Posted by advice_seeker

I appreciate your comment. So far, you are the only reply.
I am divorced and have full physical custody of the kids, however, we share legal custody.
I spoke to him asking about the move and at first was ok with it, then decided he wasn't. So now he is forcing my hand to take it to the legal system for permission to move. I just don't know how to do it without an attorney.
Any other info you may have would be greatly appreciated.

Adviceseeker, I honestly think you need to go to the court house or at least call them and make sure it is legal for you to move. I am going to Google a website, give me a minute... ;) You don't want to get yourself in trouble especially since it could mean the LAW! Hold on a sec...

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 07:45 PM

Tennessee Divorce Laws and Child Custody Laws
This is the best I could do to find one so fast. This site shows you general laws. You may want to think twice about it. What were the resons for wanting to move? And what were his reasons for changing his mind?

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2008, 07:57 PM

If the father of the child is using his vists right the court may just not let you move ( at least with the children) to move you will have to come up with a visit plan that the father will accept, things like increased visits during summer, who is going to pay for all of the transport costs of the kids ( normally you if you want to move)

So to move you will have to either prove he does not visit, and has not had contact with the children often. If he is having visits, and does not want to love the visits with his children there is often little hope in getting the move approved

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 08:02 PM

Originally Posted by advice_seeker

My job has announced they will not be renewing our contract at the end of the year. So one reason is a job (financial). 2nd, to be closer to family. 3rd is the school system is a top notch school. His reason is only selfish, he just does not want his kids to be 6 hrs away.

Adviceseeker, you can post your post in the box in this thread instead of Personal Messages. It is easier then you can get advice from many members... ;)

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 08:03 PM

Advice seeker, I am going to go out on a limb here... he is not selfish for not wanting his kids 6 hours away. Isn't there something else you could do?

Fr_Chuck · May 12, 2008, 08:36 PM

If he has a relationship with the kids, see them on a regular basis, he is only expecting his rights, since he can't drive 6 hours to get the kids, and 6 hours back for a weekend. So how is he going to see the kids on any regular basis?

And he would say you are selfish for trying to take the kids away from him.

This is just how it happens, both of you have sides to the story and the problems is that the courts will listen to both sides and unless there is a problem with his seeing the kids, you can not just take and change his righs without him agreeing

So what you need to do is find something you can give or offer in return for him to agree,

advice_seeker · May 12, 2008, 08:42 PM

I only used the word selfish as in that is his ONLY reason. I am not saying he doesn't have that right. I have evaluated the pro's and con's of the whole situation and not only am I doing this to make my life better but also for the boys. Financially, socially, acedemically, etc. They will have opportunities there that I can't afford them here. The school system is highly rated and with a yr round schedule they will have 2 weeks off every cpl months which will be time spent with their father, as well as summer break. The frequency of his visitation will be altered however, the length of the visits will be much longer.

startover22 · May 12, 2008, 08:56 PM

All right, so you have taken steps to make a plan. I know this sounds so much better than the situation now... to you, but maybe he isn't ready fort his. The boys, how old are they? You have to think about how you would feel in his shoes. These boys need their father and their mother and as far as I am concerned you all should stick together even if you aren't together, you know? These are big decisions, and they will affect everyone, even you. I am sorry, I stick with my advice on staying close. But, for the original question, FrChuck told you he will have to agree unless he isn't doing something right or if you can prove that it would be better, I think you will have to stay anyway. Good luck