[MarineBride08]

Hello everyone :)

I'm having a bit of trouble... my fiancé is in the US Marine Corps and is in school right now. He was supposed to come home in October 2008 and we were planning this big wedding & reception. However the military has changed his plans and now he is coming home JUNE of 2008. A month! There is not a chance that we can come up with the money in a month, let alone try to change the bookings we already put deposits on.

So we thought that we could get married in the park with immediate friends & family while he's home, and then have a commitment service (with ALL FAMILY) in October. Since he will only be home in June for 10 days, and then he will be stationed somewhere. If we don't get married when he comes home, me and my daughter will not be allowed to live with him on his base until 3-6 months after we are married. Plus, he is not the father of my daughter and after a year of marriage, he will be able to adopt her as his own :)

I live in Missouri, and unsure of if we are able to do that... I have already bought my wonderful wedding dress and don't want to waste it!

If anyone has any information please let me know!

Thank you:p

[jrebel7]

I think part of this depends on how important a large wedding is to you. If you would have regrets if you got married with less people and no fancy receptions, etc. then wait. If this large wedding and all that goes with it pales in comparison to your getting started in your life together, get deposits back if possible, check with a minister of your choice, to use a church. Invite a few close family members and friends or just a best man and bridesmaid and call it good and your little one of course. Wear your dress with pride, have lots of photos and begin your new life together!

Bear in mind, this advice is being given by someone who does not enjoy "organized fun" and began planning a large wedding but did not want to do it.

[twinkiedooter]

Get married when he comes home in June - this way you can live on base with him later. You can always get married again in October. Wear your dress both times - not that many ladies get any use out of the wedding dress after one use anyway, this way you'll be getting your money's worth out of it. Don't be so concerned about how many times you get married - you'll be married for a long time so in a few years it won't matter. A large wedding is fine and dandy, but it won't help you stay married any longer in the end. Only you and your husband have the answer to that one down the road. Right now, look to the present and take care of what needs to be taken care of. Who knows if he will be able to come back in October? They may just change his plans all over again. I for one would not wait. Do it now versus wait until who knows when.

[progunr]

I agree with twinkiedooter.

Having been in the military, I just want to add a few things from personal experience.

The one thing that remains unchanged in our military service is CHANGE. You are planning on marrying a warrior, and he will need your support throughout his career. You are going to go through so many changes in the years to come it will make your head spin at times, especially if he plans to keep this as a career.

Just when you get settled in somewhere, gotten used to the new environment, made some really good friends, he's going to get orders to move, again. This will happen over and over and as much as some people believe that they can handle it, often it becomes too much to bear.

He's going to have to go away at times and won't be able to take you with him, and you will be left alone, in a strange place, until his assignment is over and he returns.

I'm not trying to scare you, just to prepare you for the kind of future that may be in store for the two of you. If you have given much thought to these issues, then you are well prepared, if you have not given much thought to them, I'm just suggesting that you should.

Best of luck to both of You!!

[Fr_Chuck]

If you can not afford a large wedding now, you most likely can not afford one then > just being honest. So who is paying for this large wedding and why? A couple should not be going deep in debt just to get marrried in the first place. He may not even be home in Oct, things change at the last min all the time in the military.

But there are a lot of pastors who will on a few days notice marry you in a park, at your home or somewhere else, I have done them at six flags, on boats, in planes and more, even on a white water raft

For the benefits for your family, and the fact the future can not be forsure, go ahead is my opinoin