[jlsgirl]

Hi, my name is Kayla. I have been dating my BF for a little over 3 yrs and 2 months. He goes through these phases where he stops calling as much and he stops wanting to go out together and things like that. These times usually pass and then he goes back to the person I fell in love with. He calls ab a million times a day and even in the morning before he goes to work just to tell me he loves me. Recently he's been going through one of those phases again. I don't know what this means. He's a professional wrestler and he wrestles on saturdays and sometimes Fridays. Well this past weekend he called me and said that he couldn't go out because he had to wrestle. Then when I went out with my friends (girls only) he wanted to know why I was going out so late and if I was cheating on him. He hasn't called since this past Friday when all that happened. I was wondering if anyone else experienced the same things and if I'm doing something to send him into these phases. I'm so lost and it hurts so bad. I don't know what to do.. PLease help me... Thanks so much.

[phillysteakandcheese]

You've been together for more than three years and when you go out on your own he suddenly accuses you of cheating?

I think that is a clear sign that there is a lack of trust between you. :(

When I add that to the “phases” you describe… I see red flags. :confused:

Your boyfriend has something going on inside him.

• Maybe he just needs to talk to you and get some reassurance - Maybe think things through.
• Maybe he's got deeper issues that have to be worked out - Maybe with a professional's help.

Over the three years, you should have got to know this guy and be able to make an assessment of which way he is leaning. If you think it's to the latter, talk with him about getting help. Everyone needs help every now and then.

I hope things work out for you! :)

[Jackhammer]

I think it may be the steroids making him like this. All wrestlers take them. Good luck.

[Fr_Chuck]

Everybody so far has had some good points.

The entire cycle of off agin/ on again is not right, even if he comes back all you have to look forward to is anoher cycle of off again in the future.

Are you not worth more than that. Why should you put up with someone who has no trust in you ( unlesss you are giving him reasons to not trust you)

Of course as I have always said, if he is working, and is a performer, why are you not at the place he is working to watch him and be part of his life doing this. Most of the wrestlers family and love ones are in the crowd.

You both to me have some seroius committement issues. 1.You need to get professional counseling to try to work these things out.
2. Decide you are content in an on again/off again relationship.
3. Or move on to find a more serious relationship.

[jlsgirl]

I do watch him wrestle! I go all the time when I CAN. There are a lot of times that he wrestles in NC and the drive is too much for me. He understands that, and no I don't give him a reason to not trust me. I love him with everything inside of me that there is to love someone with.. I could/ would never do that to him.

[jlsgirl]

And no he's not on steroids.. they do a routine check on these boys to ensure that they aren't taking these drugs. My BF is way too small to be on steroids.